Personal Development

Success—It’s All in the Mind

2008-12-20T00:37:00.000-08:00

Here are three laws that can help put you on the road to career and life success.

Successful people, no matter what their forte in life, always have a positive mental attitude. I have never known a successful person to be a negative person, and I’ve never known a negative person to be highly successful. In my opinion, the foundation of any achievement or success is developing a positive mental attitude.

Just to reinforce what I’m saying, here are some statistics I got from a magazine a number years ago: A Harvard University survey among executive recruiters revealed that 90 percent of everything a person achieved after leaving the university, such as money, prestige, power, authority and overall success, was based on attitude and only 10 percent on aptitude or ability. They also found there was no correlation between school results and lifetime earnings. The only characteristic that determined a person’s results or how far he could go was a positive attitude.

You don’t learn it in school
Imagine that next week you’re going to start a new business, and you’ll devote all day Monday to interviewing prospective employees for your open position. I guarantee the characteristics you’ll be looking for in these people are things such as a positive attitude, enthusiasm, a good personality and pride in performance. The amazing thing is that there was nothing there that you had to be born with or you learned in school!

This is probably one of the most encouraging things you can learn. So many people hold themselves back because of something that happened in their very impressionable years. Every day they remind themselves of all the mistakes they’ve made, which lowers their confidence and self-esteem. Everyone has done things that they wish they hadn't; it’s only normal. If you are holding yourself back with negative self-talk, please get rid of it. It’s very important to let go of the past.

Another important point to remember is that it’s normal to change between a positive and negative mind-set throughout the day. If you hear some very positive comments about yourself, you jump over into the positive mind-set for a while. If you hear some criticism or some negative talk or someone reprimands you, you go over to the negative frame of mind for a while. Everybody does that. But the people who succeed—the achievers in life—spend a lot more time in a constructive or positive mind-set than they do in a negative one.

Understanding the three laws
There are three powerful laws at work that have a great deal of control over your life and are “happening” all the time without you realizing it. These laws can help you better understand how your mind-set influences your success.

Law #1 is the law of expectations: What you expect to happen usually does. If you are in a positive frame of mind, you expect favorable outcomes; if you are negative, you expect the reverse to happen. If you are positive, you expect to win the race; you expect to win the game; you expect to make that sale. If you are negative, you expect to lose and not be successful.

Law #2 is the law of attraction: How you attract things depends on your attitude. It has been said that the human being is like a living magnet. If you are positive, you attract good things: better relationships, better health, more money, more happiness, etc. You look and feel better if you are in a positive frame of mind. If you are negative, you attract the reverse: illness, loss of money and poor relationships.

Law # 3 is the law of vibrations. Everything is vibrating all the time. The windows in your office are vibrating, so is your chair and desk--everything is vibrating all the time. That’s why sometimes when you go to a function, you do not feel like being there. You feel uncomfortable because you are picking up negative vibrations. Other times you go to a function or a party and have a fantastic time. That’s because you are picking up the positive vibrations. You have an obligation to your colleagues and yourself to always contribute to creating good, positive vibrations wherever you are.

Using these three laws to your advantage can help you achieve great success in your career. Remember: If you are positive, it’s amazing how good things will happen to you, including success.

The Art of Positive Thinking

2008-12-17T07:52:00.000-08:00

If you want to live longer, be happy, healthy and successful, all you have to do is tell yourself that you can do it by tapping the healing forces within

There is no greater joy than a healthy, positive life. You feel exhilarated, energetic, happy and on top of the world. A sense of total well being permeates your mind. The future looks bright. You feel good to be alive.

Great, but how do we get out of our innumerable worries, tensions and fears that the increasingly competitive life burdens us with? Simple! Tell yourself that you are good, healthy and capable. That is the power of positive affirmations.

Such affirmations are also called self-suggestions. It is a powerful tool for transforming your inner self into an amazing health generating, self-healing entity. You can record these affirmations on a tape synchronized with pleasant instrumental music and replay them often to make them more effective and permanent.

SELF-INDOCTRINATION
Psychology says that our mind controls our body. So, taking charge of your mind becomes a vital factor in keeping your body healthy. You can do this through affirmations that establish the power of your mind. Try: "With the power of positive thinking I now take charge of my body to maintain perfect health, strength and happiness unconditionally, now and always, so be it." When you repeat this, the misleading programs of your mind will be erased.

It is said that we are never given a wish without the power to fulfill it. Each person is capable of programming his own mind to achieve what he desires. You can tap this capability by following a few simple steps. But before you begin, make yourself totally relaxed and be consciously willing to adopt the method.

Attuning yourself with nature guarantees an overall healthy life. To modify this statement into an affirmation, say: "I attune myself with nature to stay healthy now and forever."

You can have the right kind of food by affirming: "I can attract healthy food to keep myself fit, healthy and strong, everyday."

You can develop the habit of exercising your body and mind by affirming: "I can easily get up early in the morning everyday to exercise and keep fit and cheerful."

In case you are an insomniac, all you have to do is repeat: "I can relax into sound sleep now and wake up revitalized, alert, bright and cheerful early in the morning. It is done. So be it."

Sometimes, social influences play their part in either inducing or encouraging negative thinking. This is the stage where most doctors give up the case as incurable. So, to find the right doctor, suggest mentally to yourself: "I will locate the right doctor who can cure me completely in a simple, easy and positive way, now and always."

Your health problems can be dissolved by affirming: "I can now dissolve all my health problems, worries and fears easily, quickly and successfully in simple, easy and positive ways. So be it."

MAGNETIC RELAXATION
Unlike sleeping, magnetic relaxation requires you to be physically at rest but subconsciously alert. When your conscious mind is relaxed, the positive suggestions seep into your subconscious. To achieve maximum benefit from relaxation:

Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on a bed.
Let go of all the tension by repeating to yourself: "I can now relax comfortably. I can now relax my body. I can now relax my mind. Easily, quickly and positively. Now I can enjoy the state of alert relaxation peacefully."
Let a feeling of soothing comfort take over.
Let go of yourself totally. Feel a universal healing energy surrounding you and getting absorbed into your body and mind.
Feel a cool breeze around your body. Visualize a white sparkling light pouring through your head down your body and seeping deep within you.
Think that soothing and healing forces are vibrating within and radiating from you.
Maintain a positive and peaceful state of mind during the session. Also, take precautions that you are not disturbed.
Mentally repeat to yourself: "Day by day in every way I'm getting better and better and better."

This is a general formula that will heal you of all sickness. Emile Coue, a French doctor, recommended it for physical, mental and emotional well-being. It can be mentally repeated as many times as possible.

MAGNETIC ABSORPTION
The subconscious has the knowledge, power, wisdom and understanding to heal and maintain perfect health. It is the interference of negative suggestions that causes ill health and weakness. So, whenever you feel that something is not right, use affirmations to get back on the right track. Here is a simple one that can be absorbed into your subconscious to keep your body fit: "Attuned with universal healing powers and the source of life, all my body organs are now becoming normal and fit, and they will function perfectly to maintain excellent health, strength and vitality up to a great age."

USING THE SUBCONSCIOUS
The subconscious mind is perfectly programmed with a survival package in the form of universal instincts that can be synchronized with conscious programs to live in harmony. Accepting your subconscious instincts relieves you of half of your health problems.

The subconscious is always receptive to suggestions that transpire from your conscious mind. So keep your conscious mind filled with creative, positive, pleasant, peaceful and productive thoughts. When you repeat an affirmation in a relaxed state of mind, it works wonders. To retain these suggestions, repeat them often, till you feel confident that they have become a permanent habit.

The subconscious mind is an all-powerful, omnipresent and omniscient gift. Peace will prevail in your life when these conditions are maintained. So, affirm often: "I most willingly accept healthy, happy and self-healing success programs of my subconscious mind consciously for total fitness, now and always."

It is easy to program your subconscious to integrate your inner healing power into a self-healing force. All that you aspire for will come to pass. New friends, new relationships, new ideas, new thoughts and new plans can motivate you to become a powerful optimist. So affirm: "Today I am a new, dynamic, and optimistic futurist flooded with positive thoughts of successful self-healing."

VITAL LIFE ENERGY
Magnetic energy plays a vital role in self-healing. The more energy you generate through eating, breathing and exercising, the longer you will live with health and happiness. It is said that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes out of his mouth. When we speak to ourselves in positive terms, we tend towards self-healing. We can build up positive statements like:

I am healing myself positively.
Positive energy is keeping me healthy.
Healing myself and others is easy for me.
I have the positive habit of deep breathing.
Today I am feeling better than ever before.
Tomorrow I am going to be perfectly all right.

FEEL YOUNG, LIVE LONGER
Age is an attitude of the mind. When you think youthful, you feel youthful. Energy can also be enhanced by being active, alert and awake most of the time.

In my experimentation with autosuggestion, I feel that new frontiers can be explored in the process of evolution. Some of them are:

Assert firmly to reverse aging. Take it as a challenge.
Use the countdown method to feel young and energetic after 50. Subtract the number of years that you are over 50 from 50 and affirm that age constantly. For example, if you are 55, all that you have to do is to count downwards the years of your age by subtracting five from 50 and imagine that you are 45. Now build up positive magnetic statement like: "Today I am 45 years young."

The second phase is to regain the natural color and abundance of youthful hair on your head. But consistent practice coupled with firm determination is required on your part. You can begin the practice right now by affirming: "I am determined to regain all the hair on my head with its natural youthful color as soon as possible." Mentally repeat it 21 times just before you go to sleep at night.

SELF-HEALING IN SEVEN DAYS
The magnetic self-healing schedule that follows is an invincible method that can take you to the height of perfect health, strength and happiness. After practicing it for a period of seven days you will find that all your past health problems automatically disappear. The watchword here is consistency. All that you have to do is read the affirmations as soon as you get up in the morning and before going to sleep. It has cured me. It can do the same for you. Now read the following:

I'm relaxed, my body is relaxed.
My mind is relaxed, my emotions are relaxed.
I am now totally relaxed.
I am getting better, stronger and happier forever.

Now make yourself comfortable. Read the affirmation given below focusing your eyes in a half-closed manner as if you are reading it half asleep.

Hold your breath comfortably and read each statement twice. Relax after reading it. Don't hurry. Don't worry. You will see the difference from the very first day. After you practice the magnetic affirmations for seven days, let go of it. You can always come back to the seven-day program whenever you feel the need. You can mentally repeat each affirmation for the whole day but remember to hold your breath while doing so. Now repeat:

My body and mind are clean and energetic. I love my body.
Today I am becoming strong, powerful, dynamic, happy-go-lucky and attractive.
Today I can choose to take total interest in regaining perfect health successfully.
Today I assert, affirm and relax with total freedom to heal myself with the power of thought.
Today I am on the way to recovery easily, quickly and successfully to become healthy, happy and free.
Today I have regained normalcy with the power of positive thought successfully.
Today health and energy are vibrating and radiating from me.

Do it for seven days at a stretch and discover the new, optimistic you who can take anything in his stride. It only takes a little belief and a little determination to change your life.

MIND YOUR THOUGHTS

2008-12-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking—that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are five simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life

BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.

You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.

Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.

IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?

Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?

Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.

Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.

Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.

The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.

REPLACE WlTH POSITIVE THOUGHTS
A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.

External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.

Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.

Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.

The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one."

REINFORCE
Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.

8 Destructive thinking patterns and how to change them

2008-12-16T19:38:00.000-08:00

It can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life?
8 limiting patterns of thinking

‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern –Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern– You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern – This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern – Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
‘Should, would, could’ Thinking pattern – This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern – Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern – You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”

These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Never to me’ and ‘The negative psychic’ thinking patterns about everything, “She’ll never go out with me she thinks I’m an idiot.” I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.

How to change the destructive thinking patterns

The first stage of changing is to recognise the problem - You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing. If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognise what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different, therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world. I’ll give you an example:

In 2004 I took a redundancy package from my place of employment and received about $10,000 for my troubles, not a lot at all when I was earning $25,000 a year when I left. I was speaking to my friend about it and he thought I was absolutely nuts to do it, especially since I was married with two children. I explained to him how free I felt and what plans I had to start an online book dealing business and my wife was right behind me. He still thought I was crazy. My perception of the world was one of opportunity, life was great and I was free from the rat race for a while and I would get to see my wife and children a lot more than I had, I was ecstatic and if it didn’t work out I had a lot of skills to offer another employer. My friends perception was one of doom and gloom, he needed the security of a full time job even though he hated it and was working 12 hours per day. It turns out I worked at it for 1 year made a good profit but gave it up due to a huge downturn in business. At the end of it I was still optimistic as I knew I was good enough to get another job until I could do something else.

Everybody’s view of the world is different and it all comes down to the thinking patterns you use in your daily life. If you think life is wonderful you will notice the wonderful things in your life, if you think life is shit you will find shit things about life. Change your thoughts and you literally change the world you are living in. First you have to recognise your destructive thinking pattern.

The second stage is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns - We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love. Recognising when you use destructive thinking patterns can help you to change that pattern. Now that you have recognised when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it.

The third stage is to replace the bad with the good – This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. Here an example:

You are out in a club and you want to talk to someone you are attracted to. Your thoughts are “ She’ll never talk to me, she’s gorgeous.” You will immediately recognise this pattern of thinking and tell yourself something good about yourself e.g. “I’m good at _______(FILL IN THE BLANK), it can be anything. This will not immediately help your situation but it will slowly begin to change your old destructive thinking pattern with a new one.

This stage takes place over time and is not done immediately. The best time to change a destructive thinking pattern is to let it run it’s course and slowly replace it with a thinking pattern that is better for you. I know people want a microwave life, stick it in the micro and it’s ready in 3 minutes, your life is not like that and you cannot change in 1 day, unless something drastic happens.
You can work on more than 1 destructive thinking pattern at a time.

To recap

To change your thinking pattern you have to

Recognise
Be aware
Slowly change and introduce a new thinking pattern
Keep working on all your destructive thinking patterns

Change your life with your new way of thinking

Recognising and changing your way of thinking can be a long process depending on what patterns of thinking you employ and how badly you want to change. People can change, do change and change for the rest of their lives, I know I have, so don’t be thinking you’ll never be able to change, you can and you will if you really want to.

After a few months you will see a huge difference in your life and you will want to use your new way of thinking to good effect. You will start to notice new types of people enter into your life who can help you reach the goals you have in life and in turn you will help them reach their goals, don’t worry about how just now.
Take time to think about your goals and take the time often to do this. I take time every day to think about where I want to be in life and slowly but surely it happens. Personally I find it better in the morning to really think about my goals and then again at night just before I am falling asleep. It works for me but you will have to experiment a little to find your way of thinking about your goals.

I hope this article has helped you a little. If you feel you would like to say something about it why not leave a comment.

Body Language Basics

2008-12-16T02:19:00.000-08:00

People understand the concept of body language but don’t really have a one-stop source for reference. In this article, I will attempt to share body language basics. This article will not be an exhaustive or detailed description of body language basics, but it will be a good reference to turn to when you are trying to figure things out. If you notice a person consistently acting a certain way when you talk to them, but you cannot figure out why, this basic description of body language basics may help.

Keep in mind, that when evaluating body language, it is always better to look for a combination of expressions. If you base your evaluation of body language on just one expression you see, you may be entirely wrong in your conclusion. Someone that looks up to the left with their eyes during conversation may not be necessarily lying. The person could be thinking of a creative way to answer a question. Some body language basics:

When someone is stroking their chin, this could mean they are making a decision on something. Some people actually stroke their cheek or hair when making a decision. Clasping or putting the hands together upwards as if to pray, has also been used when making a decision. When a person tilts their head, this normally means they are interested in more information. Dogs and robots do this to express they are waiting for more information. My wife and son constantly bite their nails. While this normally means a person is nervous or insecure about something, it could also mean they have a bad habit.

When you notice someone pinching their nose (without hands) and/or closing their eyes, this normally means they are reacting negatively to something.

I knew a man who would close his eyes when people would talk to him, but he didn’t pinch his nose. If you knew him well enough, you would know that he was just trying to tune into a spiritual vibe for direction in the conversation. I hear that when someone touches or slightly rubs their nose, they may be lying or expressing doubt about something. I don’t know how true that is. Maybe they just have an itch.

One body language basic I believe gets a bad reputation is when someone has their hands clasped behind their back. The idea here is that they are apprehensive or frustrated about something. But in reality, I think if someone is apprehensive or frustrated, they would be in a position of readiness to do something. Instead, I believe when someone has their hands behind their back, it would most likely mean they are relaxed. When people leave the military, they have this habit when feeling at ease. Another body language basic that I believe is misunderstood, is when someone is standing with their hands on their hips. This position is said to mean one is in a state of aggression. But, once again, I believe this could be simply a position of rest or confidence.

Lastly, two more body language basics exist. If you notice someone sitting down with their legs wide open, that means they are comfortable with you. If their palms are exposed to you, that means they mean you no harm and want to connect with you. What are your basic body language expressions telling others?

Body Language Louder Than Words

2008-12-16T02:15:00.000-08:00

Think for a few seconds. If you’re around people, stop and look around. Take a moment and observe the people walking by you or sitting at the tables near you. Most of the time, you don’t need to listen to their conversations or ask them what they’re thinking or trying to communicate. Directly or indirectly, everybody’s body language speaks louder than words.

Take for example, someone that is sad. You can easily tell by their demeanor that they are not happy. Their whole body sulks and they walk about as if a dark cloud follows over them. On the other hand, someone that is happy walks about as if they are sunshine incarnate. They beam with joy and their body radiant with every step. This is body language.

Understanding basic body language helps one be a better communicator and person. I know a young boy who cannot for the life of him stay out of social trouble. He’s great at starting friendships but not maintaining those relationships. A good reason why he has this trouble is due to his lack of understanding body language. Instead of noticing his friend needs time alone or is not interested in playing at the moment, the boy will press for the friend to do what he or she does not want to do. This quickly creates friction and a verbal or even a physical altercation will then occur.

Body language is everywhere and in every facet of life. The next time you are at work talking with your boss or co-worker, remember body language. If you become better attuned to what people are saying with their body, you will quickly be regarded as a very important asset to your company.

At home, pay attention to what your spouse is saying beyond words or what your sibling is really feeling. When you can naturally pick up on their physical cues and mirror them accordingly, you will be esteemed as the most tender and understanding member of the family.

Understanding body language is not always simple. The person you are trying to read may have other variables involved and assuming you can understand them can lead to frustration. For example, the crossing of arms at the shoulders is widely understood as a physical cue, that the person is opposed to what he or she is hearing. But, in many cases this can also mean the person is seriously thinking about what is being discussed. A third possibility is that the person is simply trying to keep warm.

I once heard that body language is really 95% of what we say. Words are only 5%. Our own intentional efforts, to become better communicators by using or restraining body language is, key to being influential or persuasive.

To become better at understanding or using body language, there are many books one can read and find at your local bookstore or library. The internet is also rich with resources both free and for a fee on the subject of body language.

How to Make a New Year’s Resolution?

2008-12-16T01:59:00.000-08:00

It is tradition for most individuals to make a New Year’s resolution. This resolution is often made towards the first of the year. For some, New Year’s resolutions are goofy, but for others they are serious. If you want to make a serious New Year’s resolution and actually turn yours into a reality, continue reading on for a few helpful tips.

Think about it. As previously stated, not everyone takes New Year’s resolutions seriously, but you should. This is your chance to change something you don’t like or improve your life. Your New Year’s resolution can be to lose weight, spend more time with your family, or get out of debt. Regardless of what you choose, think about it first. Don’t just go with the first thought that pops into your mind. Instead, think about what you truly want to change or improve in your life.

New Year’s resolutions are often shared at a New Year’s Eve party or on the first day of the year. If you haven’t taken the time to think about your resolution, don’t jump. There is no law saying you have to have a set resolution in place by the first of the year. New Year’s resolutions are designed to change and improve lives, so give it time if you must. Better yet, start thinking ahead.

Stay realistic. If you want to have your New Years resolution be more than just a goal, but a reality, you need to keep reality in mind. It is important to be realistic when setting your goal. For example, do you want to get out of debt? The harder you work towards your goal, the more likely you are to obtain it. However, it is possible to get out from under a $5,000 debt in one year, but others find it impossible to do with $50,000. So, if your goal is to get out of debt, set a reasonable dollar amount. If you meet it, good. If you surpass it, even better.

In terms of reality, it is important to know what you can and can not do. As previously stated, you may not be about to overcome a $50,000 debt in one year. That doesn’t mean you can’t try. It is also does not mean you should give up if you don’t see immediate results. You have all year to turn your New Year’s goal into a reality, so don’t rush it. Give it time and never give up if you don’t see immediate results.

Be specific. In fact, you should not only be specific, but break down your Near Year’s resolution into mini goals. In keeping with the resolution of getting out of debt, start with secured loans. These are loans in which you may lose something if payment is not made, like your car or home. Next, target those small, but still important debts. Do you owe $50 to your family doctor? Pay those bills next, as they are easy.

By creating small mini goals, you have a set plan in place. You essentially have a guide to follow. This makes accomplishment easy. Mini goals will also serve as a source of motivation. When you are able to cross something from your to-do list, you feel a sense of pride. That pride will want you to continue on and you likely will.

Write it down. As stated above, New Year’s resolutions are commonly shared among friends at a party. This is great as others are aware of your goals and can provide you support, but be sure to write yours down. Place it in a prominent location, such as in your wallet, refrigerator, or office desk. Each time you see your resolution written, it serves as a source of motivation.

In short, New Year’s resolutions are optional. There is no law saying you have to make one, but why not? It is a new year and your chance to improve your life. So, what are you waiting for? Start thinking about your New Year’s resolution today.

What Causes Communication Breakdown?

2008-12-15T21:54:00.000-08:00

Before you start reading, I just want you to know that the following post have some references to religion. Enjoy reading!

Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse that ended without anything being accomplished? You talk over an issue for hours, and it still ends in an uncomfortable stalemate. You walk away and wonder, What went wrong? Why couldn’t we resolve this problem? If you’ve had one of these conversations, then you know what a frustrating experience it can be. However, what is even more frustrating is when couples regularly communicate this way over the majority of issues in their marriages. Over time, this communication breakdown will lead a couple to conclude that nothing can be resolved by talking together. Consequently, this couple will slowly drift apart.

If you sense this despair in your relationship with your spouse, then I would encourage you to read on very carefully. You need to identify what is causing your communication breakdown and change it before you sink any deeper into this hopelessness. Don’t miss this opportunity to grow in your communication skills. Doing so will add so much to your intimacy and companionship with your spouse. Solomon’s wife said that her husband’s voice was sweet to her and she longed to be with him (Song of Solomon 2:14). Can you say that to each other? Do you consider it a sweet thing to talk with your loved one?

If not, please consider some of the following reasons why communication can go sour in your relationship. More important, what can you do to solve these problems?

Identify the areas that hinder communication

1. Stubbornness Communication always begins with a willingness to exchange ideas on a topic in an attitude of openness and love. However, when a conflict arises with your spouse, do you dig in your heels and refuse to communicate? Do you insist upon your way, or your viewpoint? Stubbornness is like a wall that you set up between you and your mate. This obstacle inhibits intimacy and hardens your hearts in the midst of conflict. The wall of stubbornness must come down if communication is ever to become effective in your relationship.

Stubbornness is what made it impossible for Paul and Barnabas to work out a compromise concerning their relationship with John Mark. On their first missionary journey John Mark went home before the trip was over. Consequently, when Paul and Barnabas decided to take their second missionary journey, they argued over whether John Mark should be allowed to come again. Scripture tells us that Barnabas was "determined" to take John Mark, and Paul "insisted" that they wouldn’t (Acts 15:37-38). The contention was so sharp that they parted company and went their separate ways. This communication breakdown was caused by two stubborn wills clashing with each other. Does this sound like your household?

This communication breakdown could have been resolved if there had been a little more flexibility and compromise on both sides. Both men were stubbornly defending their positions and were unwilling to see the other’s point of view. This is why God asks both husbands and wives to submit themselves to one another in the fear of God (Eph. 5:21). Most of the time a submissive demeanor will make a solution possible. Unfortunately, this is not the way we usually respond. God acknowledged this characteristic of man’s nature when He called the children of Israel a "stiff-necked people" (Ex. 32:9).

Are you stiff-necked and stubborn when you speak to your spouse? If your communication seems to accomplish very little, this attitude would be the first thing to check within your own heart. Won’t you ask God to give you a tender heart and make you willing to look for a mutually agreed upon solution?

2. When you are not willing to admit your fault One of the primary ways you reveal your stubbornness is by being unwilling to acknowledge your own personal faults. When both of you are offended by the others’ behavior, nothing will be accomplished until someone acknowledges his or her own personal fault. It is usually not just one person’s problem. In most cases it takes two people to cause a conflict. You may be responsible for 10% of the problem, or 90% of the problem, it makes no difference. You must take responsibility for your part of the problem. Jesus said, "First, take the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye" (Matt. 7:5).

Consequently, stop the "blame game" and the finger-pointing and start taking some responsibility for your part in the conflict. Admitting that you are at least partially at fault is the quickest and easiest way to solve any communication breakdown. Why not give it a try when the next conflict occurs?

3. Comparison Something else that hinders effective communication is comparison. If you say things like, "You are just like your mother," or "Why can’t you act like your father?" you are making a serious mistake. Comparing your spouse with others will always bring your conversation to a dead end. Your mate will consider this a personal put-down and will immediately move into a defensive posture. Comparison is a sword that cuts right to the heart. Your mate will think you are being unfair because he is not precisely like any other person. You have made a gross generalization that you and your spouse will now waste time arguing about.

Scripture warns us against comparing. "For we dare not… compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise" (2 Cor. 10:12). Paul teaches that measuring yourself by yourself or by others is unwise. You really shouldn’t worry about being like or unlike someone else. However, if you really want to compare yourself to someone, do it with Jesus. And then ask Him to conform you into His image, not someone else’s.

Therefore, instead of comparing your spouse with others, why not try dealing with the specific issues that are driving you apart and destroying your relationship? This would be the best use of your time and effort in communication.

4. Bringing up the past Many times in my counseling, couples have come in with horrendous stories of how past failures have been used as a club to beat the other into submission. An intense argument has ensued, and in the end, nothing was accomplished. The only result was more anger, frustration, and, of course, greater distance between the two.

Personally, I look at the past as something that you can’t do much about. The two things you can do with past sins and failures is to reconcile them and then forget them and go forward. Paul looked at life this way and encouraged us to do the same. Whether it was his failures or his successes he declared, "But one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Phil. 3:13).

However, to forget the things which are behind you, you must first forgive and reconcile them. To gain this forgiveness, go and discuss these unresolved issues with your mate and resolve them once and for all. Forgiveness and reconciliation are always the first steps toward putting an issue behind you and to opening the door to a closer relationship (Mark 11:25-26).

Then, determine that you will never bring that issue up again to use as a weapon against your spouse. Deal only with the present. This will keep you out of trouble and make your communication productive.

5. Attacking your spouse Have you ever had a conversation where you and your spouse spend the entire time attacking each other? One charge after another is made while the actual issue that started the conflict is forgotten. When couples are in the attack mode it is usually because they have not resolved past issues which they are not willing to forgive (Eph. 4:31-32).

If you are ever going to effectively communicate and resolve issues, you must begin to attack the problem instead of the person. This is fundamental to solving any conflict. But, how can you stop attacking each other and start attacking the problem?

First, you must examine your own heart and acknowledge what your contribution is to the conflict. This will really help you identify the problem. It is especially important to identify what kind of communication problems you are having (i.e. Not listening, talking too much, not talking enough, interrupting, sentence finishing, blameshifting, or explosive anger).

Second, you must acknowledge your fault without trying to attack your spouse with condemning comments. Most of the time if you will approach your spouse with a humble and soft answer, it will keep your spouse from becoming defensive (Prov. 15:1-2).

Finally, resolve the problem by asking his or her forgiveness. Lovingly seek a long-term solution so that the same problem won’t erupt again. When you take these actions there will be no need to attack each other.

6. Exaggeration Have you ever had a conversation where your spouse said to you, "You always do this" or "You never do what I ask" or "Every time you come home this happens!"? What goes through your mind when you hear these words? Don’t you immediately think of at least one circumstance when you took the action you are now being charged with never doing? You then respond, "I don’t always do that." Your spouse thinks, He doesn’t believe he ever does this. Then your mate proceeds to give you another example of your failure. This conversation then quickly descends to charges and counter charges.

The only way to defuse this kind of dead end communication is to stop exaggerating. The words always, never, or every time, work like gasoline on the fire of an argument. These words will cause an angry explosion because your spouse can always think of at least one time he or she did do what you say never occurs. The only solution to exaggeration is "...speaking the truth in love..." (Eph. 4:15). The truth may be that your spouse many times or rarely does this or that, as opposed to always or never. Therefore, be fair and honest as you speak with your loved one. The fruit will be rewarding.

7. Lying For communication to be effective, you must be truthful. When you discuss issues with your mate, do you twist the facts to suit yourself? Do you change the story when your spouse catches you with an inconsistency in your facts? When you are convicted of some failure, do you just change the subject to get the spotlight off you? If you do any of these things, you are not dealing honestly with your partner. Eventually, your spouse will realize your lack of honesty, which will result in a complete communication breakdown. Ultimately, your mate will question nearly everything you say, even when you are telling the truth. This lack of trust will cause you to become defensive. Real fellowship and communion in your relationship will cease.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when you are being lied to or when someone is not being completely honest. Remember that a believer also has the Holy Spirit to help him discern truth. He is called the "Spirit of Truth" for a very good reason (John 14:17). The Spirit resides within every believer to give them the added ability to discern the truth (John 16:13).

Therefore, if you want your spouse to believe you when you speak, and you want the Holy Spirit to bear witness to your words, then, start telling the truth. Paul exhorted us: "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another" (Eph. 4:25.) Remember, you and your spouse are truly members one of another. You are one flesh. However, think for a moment what would happen if your own physical members lied to you when they were injured? How long would you survive if you severely cut yourself and you felt no pain? The same is true in reference to your marriage. How can your marriage survive if you lie to each other about the issues between you?

It may be difficult at first to change a pattern of lying, especially if it has been your habit. But, you must start somewhere. If you have lied to your spouse recently, why not go back and tell the truth today. This would be an excellent way to prove the sincerity of your repentance and a good first step toward restoring your marriage relationship. After that, look up as many Scriptures as possible on the subject of lying. Write these Bible verses down on a piece of paper and read them daily so that God’s encouragement and conviction may constantly occupy your thoughts and heart. Paul said that the Word was profitable to teach, convict, and correct us that we might be disciplined to righteousness (2 Tim. 3:15-17). Finally, ask God to put a guard before your lips so that before you speak a lie, God’s Spirit within will convict and keep you from sin (Ps. 141:3).

8. Harsh words What is your first response when your spouse snaps at you with harsh words? Don’t you want to snap right back? Solomon explained that "Harsh words stirs up strife" (Prov. 15:1). Haven’t you proved this to be true? When you speak harsh words you are just beginning another fruitless conversation. This is because the wrath of man will never work the righteousness of God (James 1:20).

Instead, Solomon explained how we should persuade one another. "By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone" (Prov. 25:15). Notice, that a gentle word with patience is the better way to communicate your views on any subject. In other words, don’t force but rather go easy. Speak softly with honest and balanced words. This will enable you to communicate effectively and give you the best opportunity to persuade your spouse.

Therefore, if you aren’t accomplishing much in your conversations, reconsider how you communicate. Do you harshly condemn or gently persuade? Does your tongue influence your mate with love or insist with pressure and intimidation? The quality of your conversations will answer these questions. David said in Psalm 39:1, "I will guard my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will restrain my mouth with a muzzle." This decision to restrain your tongue is what enables the servant of the Lord to be gentle in all things (2 Tim. 2:24).

9. Explosive anger One of the most dangerous ingredients in each of these communication problems is anger. Mix explosive anger into any of the previous issues and your communication will become even more futile. Scripture warns us many times that an angry man never solves problems. He only creates more problems. Proverbs 29:22 warns us, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression." Is there transgression abounding in your marriage? Explosive anger may be at the root of it. Have you ever felt like you would rather live by yourself than with your mate? Solomon knew the reason. "Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman" (Prov. 21:19). This text could also easily be applied to a contentious and angry man.

In your relationship, are you the person with an explosive temper? If this is your weakness, are you willing to admit it and deal with this deficiency? If you will learn to control your explosive temper many of your communication problems will automatically disappear. Are you wondering, How can I learn to control my anger?

You must begin by understanding that anger itself is not evil or sinful. Scripture commands us to "Be angry and sin not" (Eph. 4:26). Therefore, it is possible to be angry and not sin against God or your mate. Jesus was angry and, of course, did not sin (Mark 3:5). It is important to remember that it is only the way you express your anger that causes you to sin. Anger can be expressed in a constructive way or a destructive way, it’s your choice. Controlling your anger and allowing it to motivate you to constructive action can be done several ways.

First, you must make a choice. Choose to "not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts" (Rom. 6:12). When you allow sinful anger and resentment to smolder in your heart, an explosion is inevitable. Therefore, make this choice today: my anger will not continue to dominate me anymore.

Next, choose to surrender yourself to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to quench the fire of anger inside with a big bucket of His living water (John 7:37-39). His Spirit is more powerful than the passions of sinful anger. He can control you if you will just surrender to Him.

To aid in your control, be sure to deal with the small issues before they build resentment in your heart. Jesus said that we should deal with conflict "quickly" before it gets out of control (Matt. 5:25). Paul also taught that we should solve each problem before the sun goes down every day (Eph. 4:26). Dealing with the little issues promptly helps you to stop the boiling volcanic eruptions of rage, before they occur.

Finally, choose to listen before you speak. Most of us need to grow in our listening skills. Usually we are more ready to speak than we are to hear what others are saying. Notice the connection that the apostle James makes between listening, speaking, and wrath. "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19). How willing are you to hear and understand what your spouse has to say before you speak? If you don’t want to explode in anger, ask God to help you to "zip" your lips and listen. When you are slow to speak you will be slow to wrath.

If you would like to study some examples of constructive actions which were motivated by anger consider these passages: Numbers 16:15; Nehemiah 5:6-7; 1 Samuel 11:6.

Beloved, communication is the key to your marriage relationship. Don’t miss the great blessing God has in store for you and your spouse as you enjoy sweet communion with each other. Deal with those issues which can destroy your oneness and take every opportunity to draw near to one another.

How to set personal goals

2008-12-15T21:50:00.001-08:00

In an effort to set more Personal goals in life we need to have a personal goal planning session of our own. Personal goal setting is very personal and one must look inward to understand what it is they truly want to accomplish. setting personal goals requires discipline, time, and a desire to make personal change. achieving personal goals can be as simple as making a promise and keeping that promise. To achieve our goals many people will create what is called a personal goal statement. This will help the individual understand exactly what the goal is about and why they feel the goal is important to them. The individual should ask questions like How will this goal affect me if achieved? Is this a personal development goal? or is this a career development goal? How will this goal affect me in the 4 areas of life, body, heart, mind, and spirit? There are hundreds if not thousands of personal goal examples available to us however evaluate your life, identify what is truly important and determine what areas of life would you like to affect and what do you see as the most important goal you could work on.

Take one goal at a time, one week at a time, set a goal for a week, a few days, or even today. Some examples of personal goals could be as simple as arising at 5:55 every morning for the next week, write in a journal for 30 days, read an inspirational book, establish an exercise routine, Go on a 1 week vacation with the family to Hawaii, Go running every day for 1 month. You'll notice that these goals are specific enough to see the begin as well as the end, and they will allow you to identify specific steps or questions you can ask yourself each day to establish accountability to yourself in accomplishing the goal. Your goals should be surrounded by the roles that you currently fulfill.

How to Become a Leader - Do You Have What it Takes?

2008-12-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

There are some people who are so good at being leaders that some may say they were born that way but the reality of it is that they are leaders due to the experiences that they went through. Leaders possess qualities that are considered extraordinary by others and those qualities are what give a leader the strength to make the decisions that he or she must make. It is not easy being a little if you don't know what you are doing. There are 3 qualities that you must possess as a leader and so you must get familiar with what I am about to tell you.

Confidence

The first quality a leader must have is confidence because there will be times where decisions must be made and even if they are tough a leader must always try to remain in control and show those who he is leading that everything is fine. How can you expect to lead thousands of people if you have no confidence in yourself as a leader? You must begin to believe in yourself and others will start believing in you.

Decisiveness

A leader must always be sure of his decisions and not be afraid to make them. There is a huge difference between analyzing the situation and be afraid to take action. The only way for you to learn and to become a more efficient decision maker is to actually begin to make important decisions. So take the first step and start making decisions today.

Surround Yourself With Leader

As simple as that sounds you must surround yourself with those who represent what you want to become. By having great leaders around you it is attracting that to yourself. By watching those great leaders and interacting with them you will eventually begin to pick up habits from them. Learn from all the leaders that you can and become better. There is so much to learn and so many people who can teach it. So when you get an opportunity to surround yourself with leaders take it.

These qualities are what leaders are all about and so you must make sure to develop these qualities.

Unmasking Your True Leadership Potential

2008-12-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

Leadership is a series of enhanced and progressive skills utilized in association to lead and inspire people or groups in accomplishing a desired purpose. It is a greatly distinct form of human skill which requires the union of experience, character and knowledge. So if you step forward and unmask your true leadership skills, what can you do then? You can be able to change the world. But your capability to change the world starts with the potential to change yourself. Yes, this whole journey to unmasking that leadership potential within commence with a greater comprehension of oneself. We could utilize our positive traits to the maximum and become mindful of our weaknesses when we know ourselves better, thus helping us to attain our fullest leadership abilities.

Try discovering and exploring those personality traits and how they could interact with leadership. Once you know and understand yourself fully, next you should sharpen your skills in communicating. And mind you, these are not limited to your public speaking proficiency only. This also contains your body language and most especially your writing skills. Your capacity in communicating efficiently improves your competence to develop interpersonal and social relationships. Yet another noteworthy skill is learning how to learn. This skill would largely improve your capability in giving clear, easy-to-understand instructions and making decisions. To identify how you and those you will lead will learn best, analyze various teaching styles and learning techniques.

Try to develop the knowledge, strategic methods and discipline necessary to become an effective leader in your company, community, family, profession or industry. So how can you bring out or unmask that leadership potential of yours? Here are four helpful suggestions you could learn to commence you on your way.

1.) Assess yourself or conduct a self-evaluation. By conducting your own self-assessment, you may have a deeper and thorough understanding of your weaknesses and strengths.

2.) Find an experienced coach or seek the advice of a leadership mentor. Look for someone whose reputation you trust and whose expertise you could count on.

3.) Ascertain and seek paid and volunteer leadership opportunities.

4.) Be a student once again--this time of human nature and leadership by listening to programs and attending teleseminars and training seminars. Being a student gives you chance to grow again by being open to different information available. Although these are just hourly seminars, you can still gain a lot even by just sitting there, listening and observing things.

The famous British Prime Minister Winston Churchill once said, 'we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.' It is because of the fact that leadership really means service that the future of our society depends on leaders that are able to provide strong leadership qualities and selfless dedication.

How about you, what kind of life do you want for yourself? Unmask that leadership potential within you and witness how your service to your family, community, organization, nation and the whole humanity could imprint an indelible legacy for more generations to come.

Why Writing Your Goals Is So Important?

2008-12-14T17:09:00.000-08:00

Writing down your Dreams and Goals is an important first step towards achieving them. First, because by writing them down it forces you visualize your Goals. And second, because the act of writing them down creates a commitment on your part. Only about 5% of the population actually takes the time to write down their Goals and Dreams. Maybe that is why so few people actually are living the life that they would like to be living.

Writing down your goals creates the roadmap to your success. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Here are the four rules of writing goals down:

1. Write your goal in the positive.

Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It's only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.

Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don't limit it to goal setting.

2. Write your goals out in complete detail.

Instead of writing "A new home," write "A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land".

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.

Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.

3. Write in presence.

Write your goals down in the present tense. This is because the unconscious mind chooses a path of least resistance. If you write, "I will be slim" the unconscious mind does nothing thinking that the will be may be postponed until later.

A friend had a business, which was losing money. He set his goal to break even the next month. Every month the next month would come and be this month so his goal would be true to break even the next month, which would never come. Eventually he changed his goal to, "I am breaking even this month." That very month he broke even for the first time.

Write them in present tense, first person, as if they are currently true.

4. Re-write your goals.

When the words are written and then repeatedly re-written they have maximum impact.

So don't be content with a first draft.

Write down your goal. Then rephrase it, compact it, add motivating adjectives, make it pithy. A week later you may want to adjust it again. Keep on fine-tuning.

Writing your goals down is the first step to make the goals more real. Somehow having things in writing really makes them seem more important to most people. It will also make it easier to make the plans needed to reach your goals if you have something in writing.

Researching a Company

2008-12-14T16:56:00.000-08:00

Introduction

Imagine applying for your dream job, landing the interview, and being hired only to discover after a week on the job that the company dumps toxins into Lake Ontario thereby irreparably damaging the environment. If your values guide you into respecting natural resources, then you will not be happy working for this company, and you will soon have to look for another job. That is why doing thorough company research is an essential factor in finding a job that is right for you.

What is Company Research?

Company research involves finding out as much information as you can to determine if it is a place you would like to work. Company research consists of

reading the company's Website, press kit, annual report, and other literature,
talking to people who have worked there,
finding out what its competitors and clients say about it,
conducting an information interview, and
reading any materials published in the media, including newspapers, trade publications, business indexes, and the Internet.

Why Do Company Research?

Do company research to determine if the company is really a place where you would want to work. Be sure that the company's mission and values match your own. Also, find out about the corporate culture:

Are interactions between employees formal or informal?
What is the dress code?
How does it approach human rights issues?
What are its standards?

You should also do company research when applying for a job. Use some key points to demonstrate your knowledge of the company and to show how you can be an asset there. Then use the information during an interview to further demonstrate your interest in working for that company.

What You Need to Know about a Company

Seek out information that will help you determine your fit into the organization, possibilities for advancement, and company stability. Here are some more questions you may want answered before applying for a job:

What qualities does the company seek in an employee? For example, does it seek creativity, initiative, perseverance, accuracy, and punctuality?
What kind of an atmosphere does the company have? For example, is it tensed or relaxed, formal or informal, dynamic or static?
What are the company's hiring procedures and policies? For example, does it hire frequently; does it hire only through referrals?
What developments or changes is the company planning? This information can help you identify a growing need in the company and company stability. For example, if the company is planning to develop online business services, it will need people with Internet skills.

Be sure to itemize the information that YOU need to help determine whether or not a company is right for you. Then, consult various sources to get the information. By consulting various sources, you will be able to find information that goes beyond the publicity information typically published by companies in their Annual Report and on their Websites.

When Applying for a Job

When applying for a job, find out what kind of information the employer requires. For example, does he or she prefer a résumé or a curriculum vitae? Do you have to fill out an application form or submit a résumé and cover letter?

Get the name of the person who is responsible for hiring so that you can address the documents to that person. Obtaining the name indicates that you have enough interest in the job to do a bit of extra research. Make sure that you are aware of the skills and qualifications the company is seeking for the job you want. In addition, highlight those skills in all your application documents. Finally, find out the kinds of questions the employer will ask in the interview, as well as the appropriate clothing to wear to the interview.

When Deciding to Accept a Job

Reassess whether this company fits with the personal needs and preferences that you identified in your self-assessment. Take some time to think about all that you have learned about yourself and the company to make sure that there is a good "fit."

Succeeding at the Interview

2008-12-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

The interview is the last phase in the hiring process and obtaining one is an achievement in itself. However, now you must prove to the interviewer in a face-to-face meeting that you have the credentials, personality, experience, and creativity to meet the challenges of the job.

Here are some tips on preparing for the interview that can help you to succeed:

1. Begin with a firm handshake and steady eye contact

First impressions are difficult to break, so display a confident and friendly attitude from the first moment the interviewer appears. Shake the interviewer’s hand in a friendly greeting, and let the person guide you into the office where the meeting will take place.

2. Maintain eye contact

It is normal for your eyes to wander when you are thinking about an answer to a difficult question; however, it is expected that you will maintain eye contact with the interviewer when you are speaking or when he or she is asking you a question.

When being interviewed by more than one person, maintain eye contact with the person who asks you a question. When you have finished your answer, you can then look at the other interviewers to get some non-verbal or verbal feedback.

3. Keep answers short and to the point

Some interviewers will pause for an extended period to see if you will fill the time with chatter. Avoid doing so. When asked a question, answer the question directly, add specific detail or an example, then end your answer. If the interviewer would like more information, he or she will ask for it.

4. Sell yourself without being immodest

Don’t hesitate to describe your skills and your achievements. Add anecdotes or "stories" about past experiences to illustrate your points. You need to do so if you are to convince the employer of your strengths. However, it is expected that you will discuss your abilities and knowledge in a factual and objective manner.

5. Demonstrate a positive attitude

Avoid making negative comments about previous employers or about the occupation. When asked about your liabilities, present one or two points sincerely and in such a way as they can be viewed as areas potential strength.

6. Know the contents of your résumé

The interviewer will refer to your résumé and will have prepared some questions based on the experiences and education that you have described on paper. Therefore, know the contents of your résumé well so that you can summarize points, provide chronological accounts, and answer questions that are asked.

How to socialize at a party alone

2008-12-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

Here are practical hints to help single people socialize at a party alone. The goal is to meet other people and ease nervousness.

Sometimes it’s tough to go to a party by yourself. This is true for singles as well as attached people who don’t have their companion with them. If you know a lot of the other guests, it isn’t so bad. But if you only know few, or maybe just the host, the whole affair can be unnerving. However, by remembering a handful of tricks, you can end up meeting many new people and having a great time.

First, be comfortable with what you’re wearing. If you’re constantly fidgeting or adjusting your clothes, you will appear nervous. You may also be distracted from conversations because you’re worried part of your outfit will slip, undo or open. Keep within the expected dress (casual, formal, etc.) but, if you can, wear something you’ve worn before, especially shoes.

Next, don’t arrive too early. If it’s a casual house or office party, arriving an hour after the “start time” is acceptable. That way some guests will have already arrived, giving a range of opportunities to start conversations. If you arrive too long after everyone else when the party is in full swing, it can be difficult to “catch up” to the energy level of the group. If it’s a formal function like a dinner when punctuality counts, arrive just before the dinner is served. Although there is often a cocktail hour prior, people are settling in and tend to only talk to people they know. Mingling at that kind of gathering is done after the meal.

Don’t spend too much time doing this because you don’t want to sound rehearsed, but think of three or four current events and your opinion about them ahead of time. Keep away from hot political and religious issues. Try to stay with weather (heat wave, hurricane somewhere in the world, freak snowstorm in the tropics, etc.); local events (change in garbage pickup schedule, sports team win or loss, road construction, etc.); recent movies or television shows you’ve seen or books you’ve read; and so on. By having already thought of a few topics of conversation, you’ll be less nervous whether you’re starting or joining in a conversation.

Keep a drink in your hand. That can be any kind of beverage. The point is to keep you from worrying about what to do with your hands. This is especially helpful if you find yourself in a lull, standing alone. If you’re at a dinner party, eat slowly so that you’ll always have something to do if a conversation lags. And never put too much in your mouth at once.

Smile and keep your body language open. People don’t want to get to know the person standing against the wall, arms folded across their chest, mouth down turned. Of course, the same is true of a person grinning from ear to ear for no apparent reason. Keep away from the edges of the room and try to have a slight smile on your face. Like the Mona Lisa.

Finally, don’t be afraid to initiate conversations. Approaching other single people is easier than groups but if you turn out not to enjoy each other’s conversation, it’s more delicate to end the interaction. Watch for the group of three or four who aren’t standing in a tight circle. At a party, people expect strangers to join conversations. And the best way to meet any stranger is to pretend they are your guest. That is, try to make them feel comfortable by asking questions or commenting on what they’ve said. By taking your focus off yourself, you’ll be more relaxed.

Put these hints into practice and you might be surprised at how easy it can be to go to a party alone. In fact, there are advantages, like not having to worry if the person you brought along is having a good time.

How To Avoid Communication Breakdown

2008-12-14T02:31:00.000-08:00

Are people receiving the message you want to send across?

Communication does not begin with being understood, but with understanding others.

If you feel unsure about how to communicate effectively with anyone, there are many strategies to do so.

However, I would like to share some thoughts on 7 strategies to improve our communication and relationship from being self-sabotaged.

1) Never Assume - One of the biggest causes in communication breakdown is miscommunication, resulting from assumption and unclear instruction. e.g. you tell someone to pick you up at a certain location at 5pm sharp. That someone came at 5pm sharp and they became angry because they have been waiting for over an hour at the wrong entrance. Usually when such thing happens, it creates tension to the relationship. Using the “5 Ws” approach can help to clarify others people message to you. They are the “Where, What, When, Who & Why”.

2) Avoid Unexplained Silence - There are times when you are angry at something and you don’t feel like talking to somebody. However, people around might not understand you and you need to be alone or you need a specific time to cool down before you engage in a conversation. Tell that someone you need to be alone for a moment to cool down your emotion.

3) Avoid Talking out of Negative Emotions - Avoid talking out of negative emotions like hurt, anger, frustration, sadness, resentment etc. If you do, the negativity of your communication will be felt and may hurt the relationship. Words uttered can not be swallowed back. In such a case ten minutes of refrain is better than ten years of regrets. Think Freely and Speak Wisely.

4) Avoid Confusing Instruction - Give step to step instruction.

5) Avoid Holding Back Your Energy - Have you experienced a situation where you felt bored listening to someone who seem not to have energy and interest when speaking to you? So put more energy, with your body, your facial expressions and your hand gestures. Generate enthusiasm in your voice when you speak to other.

6) Stop Neglecting Eye Contact - One of the surest ways to convey that you are not interested in communicating with a person is to avoid having eye contact with that person. Having eye contact shows that you are committed in relaying your message across to others and committed to listen and to be with that person.

7) Handle Wrong Tones - It is not so much of what you say counts; it is how you say it that creates an impact. Using the wrong tone will not help get the result you want. Tones that are caring, affectionate, soft and trusting will be more pleasing and will likely to yeild postitive response. Therefore, use the right tone to get the right response. Speak GENTLY when giving emotional support, FIRM and ASSERTIVE when you need to correct behaviors and actions.

So are we sending the right message? If not, take charges and change our strategy. So when we change the way we are communicating, then will people change their communication towards us.

When communication breakdown are avoided, we will see that it will turn into a power communication which will send our message, intentions or instructions on AN ARROW to the HEART of our LISTENERS.

Writing job application letters

2008-12-14T02:26:00.000-08:00

The job application letter's sole purpose is to get the recipient to read your CV. It should be clear, concise and straight to the point. Here you are simply telling the employer that you are worth having a look at.

The application letter should be brief, no more than one page in length. It should be easy to read and flow through. It should include only the absolute necessary information. Like most other things, there is a formula that works extremely well for preparing job application letters. Following we discuss each paragraph and give you some guidelines.

Addressing job application letters:

The style you choose is not important, there are many different styles of job applications and professional letters, this comes down to personal preference. However somewhere on the top, whether it is on the right or left hand sides, there should be your address and the date. Following this, on the left hand side you should address it. Ensure you include the name of the person, their title, company name, address and any position reference number. This is probably obvious, but ensure that you spell their name correctly, nothing worse than receiving a letter incorrectly addressed or misspelled. It gives a poor first impression.

The Introductory Paragraph:

The first paragraph should simply state why you are writing to them. If it is an advertised position, mention the position title and where it was advertised. If you are "cold calling" a company then you should specify that you are applying for any current or future employment opportunities.

An easy way to start this paragraph is with the following statement: " Please find enclosed my CV, which I am forwarding to you as an application for the position of......."

The main body of job application letters:

The main body of the letter should be two to three paragraphs at the most. Here is where you tell them what you have to offer and why they should read your CV. This is a good time to read the job advertisement again. In one paragraph (two at the most) you need to summarise your experience and skills, at the same time, you need to respond to the position requirements as per the advertisement.

Analyse your career and summarise it in a few sentences, highlight what you specialise in, or how many years in the industry you might have, or even the level that you have reached. This paragraph should direct the reader to your CV and should sell you on some unique points that you might have.

A good way to start this paragraph is with a statement like this: "You will see from my enclosed CV...." then go ahead and tell them something about your career which will immediately get their interest.

The next part of the body of the letter should be a brief description of your personal skills. Again read the advertisement and respond to their needs. If they are asking for someone with good co-ordination skills, then ensure you mention something to that effect. If it is communication or perhaps leadership skills they value, then tell them that you have these. Use adjectives like "demonstrated ability", "well developed", "strong".

Job Application Letters Closing Paragraph:

The closing paragraph should ask for some action from the recipient. This is where you ask for an interview. It should also state where and how they can reach you, and it should thank the recipient for giving you the opportunity to apply. You can include things like "should you require further information....." .

Finish the letter by adding a closing remark, either "yours sincerely", "yours faithfully' or whatever you feel comfortable with and obeying general letter writing etiquette. Leave a few spaces for your signature and then place your full name.

Before you mail the application letter, read it over again, making sure that it is perfect. Special attention should be placed to ensure the letter:

It is not too long.
There are no grammar or spelling errors.
That you have answered the job requirements.
The application letter flows and is easy to read.

You might have to type and edit the letter many times before you are happy with it, but just remember that the job application letter is just as important as the CV itself. The letter should invite the recipient to read the resume, in turn the resume should raise enough interest for them to want to interview you. The Interview is where you will demonstrate your skills and abilities.

Resume Dos and Don’ts

2008-12-14T02:13:00.000-08:00

Talking from a point of view business Schools, a well written resume reflects that you have taken the application process seriously and that you have an ability to put your accomplishments in a decent format. Continuing from the post "Why Do Resumes Get Rejected?", today we will have a look at a few dos and don’ts that one should keep in mind while writing an effective resume.

Format- Divide the resume into five broad categories:
Profile
Educational Qualifications
Work Experience
Achievements/ Awards
Additional Information – Interest, Hobbies, GMAT/ TOEFL/IELTS’, Known languages etc.

Add your accomplishments in reverse chronological order. Recommendations are optional, add them only when asked to.

Tasks and Accomplishments- Do not talk about the tasks that you performed during your tenure in an organization rather talk about what you accomplished during that tenure.Eg.

Before:
Experience Includes
Responsibilities included writing mails, compiling track sheets of the number of queries both via phone as well as walk ins , handling marketing campaigns , performing various other duties as assigned.

After:
Experience includes:

Wrote product overview mails and developed power point presentations for the chief clientele group that contributed to an increase in sales by 20%
Compiled and maintained query and mailing list of 8000—Kotak Mahindra Banks’ largest-ever list in a single day.
Handled marketing campaigns of the new products at Delhi and NCR region for corporate clients such as Nokia and Genpact.
Worked intensively with Rs 10 Cr and above clients to tailor corporate finance products.

Sweet and Short- It is best to keep a resume to as short as one page but if your have gained a lot of experience and have a lot of accomplishments to talk about, you can extend the resume to the maximum length of two pages. One should always keep in mind that an employer is willing to spend just a few seconds before finally deciding to give you an interview call so, simple and sweet works best.

Neat and Correct- Keep your resume sans grammatical and typographical errors. Leave atleast one inch side margins and do not use different colours, a simple white background, and black ink works.

Fonts and Bullets- Use only round bullets, don’t go for character or picture bullets. As far as fonts go, Arial, Verdana and Georgia always work. Arial – 10, Georgia -10 and Verdana – 9 for the normal text and increase the font by 2 or 3 for headings. Comic Sans MS and Papyrus fonts are a strict no.

Concise and Quantitative- Do not use long sentences and heavy accented words but don’t be repetitive in the usage of words. For example replace ‘worked as…’ with ‘collaborated…’Use numbers to show your accomplishments and answer the question ‘how much?’. A specific resume is always better than a general rounded one. For example: Designed marketing campaign that resulted in $50K in pre-launch orders for Kotak Mahindra Banks’ gold coins line. If you performed a specific task at more than one job, list it in one place only. The employer is only interested in knowing your capabilities so, do not make the resume unnecessary lengthy by adding repetitive information.

Action Verbs and Pronouns- Use action verbs to demonstrate your accomplishments such as accelerated, delivered, established, initiated , directed etc. Do not use personal pronouns such as I, me, myself etc.

Revise and Review- Edit and proofread your resume atleast twice and get it read by someone from the same industry. While editing, keep deleting all the unnecessary text because every word counts.

Think and Implement- Think from employer’s point of view and answer a simple question.

Is your resume good enough to hold employer’s attention for atleast 30 seconds?

Many a time the resumes either have too little information or too much information that within a first few seconds a large number of resumes get a trash bin treatment. So, always know your target audience to whom you would be presenting your resume. For example, B Schools stress a lot on work experience section because your work experience reflects your credibility and your capabilities. This work experience is a reliable factor that would help you in getting jobs post MBA as well.

Be Honest – Do not make up degrees, accomplishments, personal or professional facts. Your resume can always be cross checked and if caught, you would be shown the door without any hesitation. For example if you have been a part of team, reflect your accomplishments as a part of teamwork and not as a leadership quality.

A Strict Nos- Don’t add a picture of yourself, salary information, height, weight, religion, failures,the title ‘Resume’, nicknames, and reasons for leaving the previous job. In case of unisexual names, add a courtesy title before your name e.g. “Ms. Michael Scott” or “Mr. Jeriome Thomas”

Time and Effort- Writing an effective resume is a tedious task and it requires time and effort. Spend a good number of hours for writing your resume because a good resume may actually take you a step ahead in changing your destiny. In essence you have to tell your employer what you are looking for and what capabilities you have that makes you a deserving candidate.

Keep these points in mind while writing your resume and if there are any questions or queries that you would like to ask, you can ask them in the comment box; I’d be glad to clear your doubts.

Good Luck!

Why Do Résumés Get Rejected?

2008-12-14T02:12:00.000-08:00

I am one of those few people who have not faced any rejection whenever they have applied for a job. I think my personality and articulateness have worked in my favour and I have always been so confident of these two qualities that I never give much heed to my résumé; Looking back, I think I was lucky that I got a job with my silly résumé a few years back. Although I started as a greenhorn in my jobs, my hard-working nature made me survive them. But not many people are that lucky and get such chances in their lives. Today, having reached a level where I can employ good number of people myself, I form the first impression about a potential employee solely through his/her résumé. Also, my industry is such that I may end up selecting a person by short-listing his/her résumé followed by a telephonic interview. In such cases, a good personality or an articulate person would barely make a difference to me since I am not meeting him/her face-to-face. Today, I am aware of the impact a good resume has on me and I am actually ashamed of my résumé that I made a few years back; If I was reading my résumé I am certain I would not have employed myself. Ha! Last year when some students sent me their résumés to edit, I had no other option but to do a thorough research and help them achieve their dreams in whatever little way I could. For days I researched on the topic and, even after I had sent the edited résumés, I didn’t stop researching and making many notes on the reasons the resumes were rejected. I am going to mention a few dos and don’ts one must follow but, before everything else, let’s look at the root of the problem.

According to Wikipedia Curriculum vitae is Latin meaning “course of life” and résumé is French meaning “summary”. In the business world, the word résumé (also spelled resume and résumé) is used especially in the United States and in English Canada. Curriculum vitae and “CV” are used in the United Kingdom in all contexts, with résumé having very little currency. A résumé, commonly written “resume,” is a document that contains a summary or listing of relevant job experience and education. It is closely related to a similar document, a curriculum vitae (CV), which focuses more on education, publications, and other accomplishments. Both are typically used to screen applicants, often followed by an interview, when seeking employment. The résumé or CV is typically the first item that a potential employer encounters regarding the job seeker.
The first and the foremost thing that an applicant to a B School must keep in his/her mind is that the recruiter or ad com does not know anything about you, and your résumé is the first window that would leave an impression about you. I am sure everyone must be aware of the phrase called ’short listing of résumé’; let’s see why some résumés are selected and some rejected in the very first go. An applicant should keep the following basic point in mind before writing a résumé.

A resume should have enough concise material that the recruiter should be able to spend at least 30 seconds before taking any decision.

Coming to the topics of the post:

Why do résumés get rejected?

First Imprints: If you believe that your first impression doesn’t count but only your achievements and accomplishments that do, you are living in a delusion. If your résumé is not able to interest an employer or ad com within first few seconds of screening, it is very likely that you would not be called for the second round. An employer should have a reason to call you for the next round. If your résumé has way ward fonts, bad margins, typographical errors, and multi colours it would definitely leave a bad taste in the very first place itself.

Length: An Applicant should understand that when he is applying for a job or to a B School there are some thousands of résumés that adcom has to review. Neither too little information nor an unending information about you works well. Keep it concise and balanced. The best way is to write a single page résumé by diving it into five sections:
Profile
Educational Qualifications
Work Experience
Achievements/ Awards
Additional Information – Interest, Hobbies, GMAT/ TOEFL/IELTS’, Known languages etc.

Shakespeare’s Language- An employer/ adcom is not interested in knowing whether you have learnt the entire Oxford Dictionary or not, they are interested in knowing your qualities and what you can contribute to school or organization. Use a simple language without any flashy words to describe yourself. It’s same as meeting someone at party and that someone introduces himself as ‘ Hi! I am Sam and I am the most handsome man around,.’ You would obviously feel odd and would think, “this is something that I should be deciding”. A lot of people think that if they use exaggerated business-like language, they would be able to impress an employer; it is a wrong assertion. Who writes like this?, ‘Highly impactful professional adorning outstanding communication and management skills’ I’d say- ‘Dude! Calm down. Let me decide that, and also if you do possess these qualities, you should be using them in the very document that you are writing.’

Generalized Résumés: Sometimes applicants write generalized résumés without dividing the document into sections or without providing any stats, these things do not hold enough attention of the recruiter. If you are applying to a B School, the work experience section should be crisp enough to show your reliability in your past organization. Start the description in reverse chronological order and don’t be too loud about the positions that you held rather tell about what you accomplished while doing your previous jobs. Your responsibilities, implementation, how you managed and how much did you generate for the company should be written clearly and concisely. “Generated monthly sales analysis reports for Regional Head” Yawn!! Rather write ” Over 3 years of experience in stock exchange with high expertise in portfolio management, and sales analysis. Consistently among top 15% rated employees and top ranker in University.’

Reviews- Applicants generally don’t get their résumés reviewed from anyone. Always take an opinion from at least two people from the same industry you are applying to but don’t just go on getting it reviewed from every second person, it will only lead you to confusion. People whom you get your résumés reviewed should have basic knowledge about grammar and spellings.

So, these are the reasons why a résumé could get rejected. I’d spend some time on dos and don’ts for writing an effective résumé and add them in my forthcoming posts.

Ten Qualities Interviewers Look For in Job Candidates

2008-12-14T02:05:00.000-08:00

It�s not easy to pinpoint what interviewers want. You may be confronted with as many different approaches as there are interviewers. However, after 28 years in this industry, here are 10 qualities that I look for during an interview:

People with a lot of energy. Some people are, quite simply, born with more energy than others. At an interview, or almost anywhere, they naturally exude vigor, enthusiasm, and drive. They want and need to be active, up and doing. You can sense this quality in a person almost as soon as he or she walks into the room. It is an innate drive that puts a spring in his/her step and makes his/her eyes sparkle. Put your money on just such a person.
People who channel energy into their work. Don�t be deceived by people who talk about hard work and say what a lot of hard work they do. To the lazy person, everything is hard work and he or she spends much or all of his/her time complaining about it.
One candidate who didn�t get the job said in an interview, �I met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work, but it was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time.� Solid evidence of an individual who has a strong work ethic includes:
- Parents, heroes, or mentors who believed in hard work
- Work-oriented spare-time interests
- Willingness to take a second job
- No concern at all with hours worked -- no clock watching
- High career goals
- Completes anything undertaken
- Paid own way through college
Evidence of role awareness. Oscar Wilde�s observation that �it is only shallow people who do not judge by first appearances� is more perceptive than might at first be imagined. Candidates who present themselves for interviews should be aware that they are onstage. If the candidate is at all sensitive to the expectations of corporate life, he or she will have dressed with care and got the rest of his/her act together too.
If a candidate arrives in attire more suitable for a golf outing than a corporate setting, then you may immediately infer that he/she lacks role awareness. And if he or she lacks it on this particular day, you may be sure he/she will never have it.
Inner motivation based on family background. It�s not so much what you have or where you were born that counts as what you did with what you had and what you make of your own life. In trying to determine what you did with what you had, I always subtract what you began with from what you have now and look at the difference.
Emotional maturity. People grow up three ways: physically, intellectually, and emotionally. Most executives mature physically and intellectually, but emotional maturity can never be taken for granted. While you can see that a person is physically fully grown, and you can check his/her educational record for intellectual ability, badges or certificates of emotional maturity are unavailable.
Spotting immaturity � and, therefore, maturity � is difficult. However, the immature person inevitably possesses two qualities to mislead you: childlike charm and, as the result of long experience, the capacity to distract attention from his/her shortcomings.
Immature people aren�t a good employment risk as line executives because, like most children, they are essentially concerned with their own immediate gratification and because they tend to see the employer as a sort of Santa Claus. What they want is to have someone to look after them just like their parents did until they left home at age twenty-eight.
Conversely, the best index of maturity is consideration and concern for the well-being of other people. Three excellent clues to an individual�s emotional maturity are:
- Judgment. Has he handled himself well in his business affairs � or has he embarked upon harebrained, get-rich-quick schemes?
- Finances. Has she lived within her means? Is she financially secure enough to suggest that her personal, financial money decisions are being chosen with a cool, clear, adult head?
- Number of past employers and the manner of departures from them. Has he pursued his career in a mature and adult manner? Has she job-hopped without realistic consideration for the future of either her employers or herself?
Someone who can profitably channel hostilities. You want to hire a person with fire in his or her belly, of course, but at the same time you don�t want a rebel without a cause. The best job-seeking candidates can temper hostilities with tact and, if they can�t do that, you as the interviewer may be in for trouble. So, watch for evidence of spite unreasonably directed toward previous employers and associates.
The need to finish a task begun. Evidence of this agreeable condition can be discovered by looking for a goal-oriented individual with a history of completing anything undertaken. Examples include: finishing a college degree, writing an article and getting it published, or successfully putting together a sound and profitable business enterprise.
A candidate who wants to do a good job, not just earn a paycheck. If you hire a mercenary, someone who believes in your cause only as long as the money is good, then you may be courting trouble. Such a person usually lacks any inner job motivation and, as a result, often harbors a deep resentment of his/her dependency upon the employer. Consequently, he/she will be ambivalent to a fault, particularly if well paid.
Loyalty to your cause. Loyalty means not that you agree with everything another person says or that you believe someone else is always right. Loyalty means that you share a common ideal with another human being and, regardless of minor differences, both fight for it, shoulder-to-shoulder, confident in one another�s good faith, trust, constancy, and affection.
The key to loyalty, whether you are recruiting an executive or making a friend, is in finding that common ideal, and once again this should stem from an individual�s deepest underlying values. If these values aren�t in harmony with those of yours or the company�s cause, then loyalty may be unattainable.
Compatibility. Individuals make up teams, but compatible individuals make the best teams. Any candidate who is unnecessarily touchy and thin-skinned at an employment interview will probably be abrasive and disruptive if he/she joins the team. A get-along, go-along person who also works hard is a jewel because his/her shine attracts people like him or her.

Remember that the opposite is also true. The bad has a tendency to drive out the good.

How to Strike Up Conversation With a Stranger

2008-12-14T01:57:00.000-08:00

Networking can be great fun - if you’re an extrovert or already know the person you’re talking to. But what if you’re surrounded by complete strangers? How do you just go up to someone and start a conversation out of the blue?

Most people find it distinctly uncomfortable to talk to people they don’t know. In times past, we didn’t really face this challenge often, because the very idea of speaking to a complete stranger was socially unacceptable. You never spoke to someone unless you were formally introduced by a mutual acquaintance whose judgment of the other person you trusted. These days, however, we’re living in a society that makes striking up a conversation with a stranger not only culturally acceptable but sometimes even expected. Luckily for us, most people are more than willing to talk to someone they’ve just met - or, indeed, simply made eye contact with across the buffet table.

Still, it can be difficult to think of what to say or how to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, and don’t know anything about. Here are a few tips to get you started the next time you find yourself facing a complete stranger and are wondering what to say.

Comment on a piece of jewelry, item of clothing, etc.

If you’re at a networking event, the other people there are almost certainly dressed to impress. Or, at least, they’re hoping they are. By commenting on a piece of jewelry, a decorative scarf, a nice jacket, etc., you’re complimenting your conversational partner, reassuring them and giving yourself an easy opening into a conversation. In addition, you’ve virtually guaranteed yourself a positive impression; after all, everyone enjoys being flattered. (By the way, this works when striking up a conversation anywhere, not just at an event.)

Ask them how they know the host.

This is an easy way to get to know about someone at an event without getting personal. After all, everyone there has to know the host somehow (unless they’re a guest of a guest, which is also useful information). By asking about their connection to the host, you can quickly learn who the movers and shakers are, and who might connections that could prove to be interesting or useful for you.

Ask them about themselves.

People love to talk about themselves. You can start the ball rolling by asking them why they’re at the event or location, what they do, if they live nearby and so on. Given even the slightest hint of interest, most people will be more than happy to go on at length about their own interests, ideas and opinions. All you have to do is jump in with the occasional (and sincere), “That sounds interesting; tell me more about that…” and before you know it, you’ll know more about them than their own parents do - and they’ll think you’re a stunning conversationalist, to boot.

Ask about a current event or news item.

Almost everybody has something to say about what’s going on in the world around them. All you have to do is ask. This works especially well if you can spin the question so that it relates to the reason you’re networking in the first place. For example, if you’re at a convention for homebuilders, you could ask if recent economic news is affecting their business, or if they’ve seen the latest bleeding-edge materials coming out of the labs. But even if you are in a situation where you know absolutely nothing about a person (say, meeting them with a mutual friend over lunch), a simple, unadorned question about a current events or news item is often more than enough to get them talking.

Talking to complete strangers can be a daunting proposition for someone who is normally more retiring, or simply not used to making the first move. But with a few simple questions in your “meet and greet” toolbox, you’ll have more than enough openers to let talk your way through an entire room full of strangers. Before long, starting conversation with people you’ve never met will be second nature, and you’ll find friends you never knew you had wherever you happen to go.

How To Build A Successful Business The Warren Buffett Way

2008-12-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

Men like Warren Buffett don’t just stumble onto the world’s rich list year after year and not know a thing or two about how to run a very successful business. Buffett is more than just one of the greatest investor’s of all time, just like McDonald’s is not just in the burger business, but also in the real estate business considering their immense portfolio of prime real estate around the world.

So if your thinking about starting your own business, like thousands are doing every day around the world then who better to learn from then “the Oracle of Omaha” Warren Buffett:

1. Stop Talking About Starting A Business, Get Your Hands Dirty
“Can you really explain to a fish what it’s like to walk on land? One day on land is worth a thousand years of talking about it, and one day running a business has exactly the same kind of value.” - Warren Buffett

It is extraordinary how often I hear someone with an excited look on their face declare that they want to go into business and leave their dead end job. They continue to talk about all the benefits and opportunities that starting a business will bring to them in a manner that is more to convince themselves then it is to convince those around them that they are making a smart decision with their life.

But what is surprising is then nothing happens. Instead of starting a business with gusto they start to talk about it and drag out the whole process by weeks, months and sometimes even years. They start to see skill sets that they find lacking in their arsenal and look to investing a period in learning. This might take the form of looking at their job to learn more skills, maybe take a few courses or buy some reading material.

While I think this is sensible to want to minimise the risk of starting a business, I think it can also be greatly debilitating if the only thing you do is preparation but never taking the actual critical step of actually starting the business. Nothing can teach you more about business then actually being in the coal face day in day out. If you want to learn marketing skills for example you can attend all the courses you want but when you’ve got your own business and the sales aren’t coming in then you will learn sales skills very quickly out of necessity.

2. Find Your Business Opportunity and Believe In It
“You’re neither right nor wrong because other people agree with you. You’re right because your facts are right and your reasoning is right—and that’s the only thing that makes you right. And if your facts and reasoning are right, you don’t have to worry about anybody else.” - Warren Buffett

Brilliant business ideas and great business ventures are created every second of every day. They are all around you if you are willing to look. A common complaint with aspiring business people is that they don’t know what business to start. They approach starting a business like they would as an employee, they look for a safe option one with low risk. They are looking for that magical bullet and thus in the process get bogged down looking for that million dollar business idea hiding in the haystack.

They have the whole thing upside down in it’s thinking. You aren’t looking to try and find the next million dollar idea, rather the key is to find something you are passionate about and pursue it because you see an untapped opportunity or a market to service. After all Buffett argues “Risk is a part of God’s game, alike for men and nations.” If you see an opportunity then you must believe in it and pursue it. The greatest shame is watching someone else take that opportunity to the market years latter because you didn’t have the fortitude to follow up your beliefs.

3. Find The Joy In What You Do
“I get to do what I like to do every single day of the year. I get to do it with people I like, and I don’t have to associate with anybody who causes my stomach to churn. I tap dance to work, and when I get there I think I’m supposed to lie on my back and paint the ceiling. It’s tremendous fun.” - Warren Buffett

If you want to achieve lasting success in any endeavor it has to be more than just will power, discipline and hard work. While all these ingredients are often associated with high achievers, another common trait overlooked is following your passion. Starting a business is more than just a 9-5 job, it’s an all consuming activity and if you don’t have the passion in it then it’s just about money. Nothing great is ever achieved if it’s just about money. It needs to be more than that. Passion enables you to overcome the up’s and down’s of business, the ability to soldier through the difficulties and the long hours.

Life is too short to just labor away long hours in any undertaking that doesn’t give you fulfillment and joy. You might as well just get a job because at least you’ll have less headaches and pressure. You’ll also probably be able to walk away at the end of each workday with your sanity still in check.

Starting a business that you aren’t passionate about is akin to buying yourself a job you hate and having an idiot for a boss. Sure you can argue “if only I can make a few million then I can retire somewhere”. The problem is whether that future thinking is really worth the exchange of your present moment happiness. Is it worth exchanging the countless hours spent in misery so that you might enjoy serenity at some future point in time. The great disappointment in life is that the future may never come and it may not look the way you wanted it to. Statistics show that 90% of all small businesses fail in their first year, most of them probably were trying to make a quick buck without thinking through what they truly wanted to do with their life.

4. Utilize Good Advisor’s And Mentors
“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without the first, you really want them to be dumb and lazy.” - Warren Buffett

You don’t have to feel that going into business is a long and lonely journey. There are many people who have ventured on the journey as you and many are more than happy to share their business wisdom that they have fostered along the way. Finding good advisor’s and mentors means that you are building a team of quality people around you that will help enable you to make better informed decisions.

While they are no guarantee to success they will hopefully help you to drastically reduce simple beginner mistakes that can cost you thousands and countless wasted hours. Buffett says “If you don’t know jewelry, know the jeweler” so it is with business, if you don’t know accounting get yourself an accountant. Your team at it’s core should include an accountant and solicitor whom you trust and get along with. In the larger scheme a mentor is someone who would be greatly beneficial to your journey. The only thing I would suggest to steer clear of is business coaches who offer their services for a fee. While I’m not suggesting that all are bad, the saying does go “if you can’t do, you teach”.

5. You Don’t Have To Swing For The Fence
“I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.” - Warren Buffett

When I was growing up Michael Jordan was everyone’s boyhood hero. He was by far the greatest basketball player of all time. According to Wikipedia “Jordan’s individual accolades and accomplishments include five NBA MVP (Most Valuable Player) awards, ten All-NBA First Team designations, nine All-Defensive First Team honors, fourteen NBA All-Star Game appearances and three All-Star MVPs, ten scoring titles, three steals titles, six NBA Finals MVP awards, and the 1988 NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award.

He holds the NBA record for highest career regular season scoring average with 30.1 points per game, as well as averaging a record 33.4 points per game in the playoffs.” So what do you suppose his career shooting average was. It was .497, that’s right, Michael Jordan got about one in every two of his shots in the net. Even legends don’t need to be right every time, they don’t need to sink the winning game shot every time. They just need to do the right things enough times and at the right moments. The line between greatness and average is a fine line. The difference between a great business and an average business is also a fine line and if your constantly trying to hit the fence with it you are going to be joining the bankruptcy list pretty soon.

Don’t get sold on the get rich quick mania, the rags to riches or the overnight success stories. Chances are they have been hyped up by media. A slow, disciplined slog to success isn’t a big enough story for people to pay attention to. So stick to your journey, find your strengths and follow your own path. Remember even Jordan spent countless years honing his craft and developing his skills before he even made it to the NBA.

The Top 10 Ways to Build a Successful Business from Scratch

2008-12-13T21:34:00.000-08:00

1. Get A Clear Idea of Where You Want To Go.

If your goal is to make more money, how much more is more? Get a clear idea of what you want so that you have a focus.

2. Be Prepared to Do Things Differently.

Make a conscious decision to do this. Presumably, whatever you have been doing has not worked so far; so admit it and open up to new ways of doing things.

3. Get Help.

Not everyone will have access to someone of influence who has done what they are trying to do. But, thanks to the Coaching profession, you can now get someone who is not only experienced and willing, but also qualified to help you.

4. Be Prepared to Spend Money.

A lot of people look for freebies, which has its place. However, when it comes to making money, more often than not, you have to spend money to get where you want to go. Join a Mentoring group; attend Seminars; use your money as a tool and invest in yourself.

5. Associate with Like-minded People.

Whatever you are trying to achieve, chances are, someone has done it before. Find people who are heading the same way and associate with them. Find out what makes them tick. Emulate them.

6. Join a Mastermind Group.

Join a local or online Mastermind. A Mastermind is simply a group of people dedicated to helping you flesh out your business ideas in an objective manner. Find one with members already established in your area of interest.

7. Act on New Information and Ideas in A Timely Manner.

So many great ideas never materialize due to over-rationalization. Once you have a good idea that has been put through due processes, go for it. The longer you wait, the more susceptible to FEAR you will become.

8. Decide On One Idea At A Time.

There is nothing wrong with having many ideas but don't be a jack of all trades. Choose one idea at a time and give it one hundred percent of your time and efforts.

9. Create Instant Momentum.

Start the ball rolling right away to create the momentum which will keep you going. Tell people about your new business; print your business cards; anything to keep you going and make it hard for you to back off.

10. Don't Be Afraid to Start Small.

Small does not mean weak. Five clients paying you $50 each per month may not seem like much at first, but what will happen if they all gave you 5 referrals every month on a rolling basis? Baby-steps, whilst highly underrated, can be an incredibly powerful business building tool.

How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes

2008-12-13T21:33:00.000-08:00

How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.

Perhaps you’re a rather nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just as a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping. All that a lack of belief will do is make it take longer, so if you’re one of those people, just change the number 20 in the title of this blog entry to 40 (or 60 if you’re really stubborn). Most likely though if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you probably won’t believe what I’m saying anyway, but even so, what’s the risk of investing an hour just in case?

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

So how to discover your purpose in life? While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

That’s it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.

For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.

It’s important to do this alone and with no interruptions. If you’re a nihilist, then feel free to start with the answer, “I don’t have a purpose,” or “Life is meaningless,” and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually converge.

When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I reached my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini-surges) appeared at steps 17, 39, and 53, and then the bulk of it fell into place and was refined through steps 100-106. I felt the feeling of resistance (wanting to get up and do something else, expecting the process to fail, feeling very impatient and even irritated) around steps 55-60. At step 80 I took a 2-minute break to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and to focus on the intention for the answer to come to me — this was helpful as the answers I received after this break began to have greater clarity.

Here was my final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.

When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

If you’re inclined to ask why this little process works, just put that question aside until after you’ve successfully completed it. Once you’ve done that, you’ll probably have your own answer to why it works. Most likely if you ask 10 different people why this works (people who’ve successfully completed it), you’ll get 10 different answers, all filtered through their individual belief systems, and each will contain its own reflection of truth.

Obviously, this process won’t work if you quit before convergence. I’d guesstimate that 80-90% of people should achieve convergence in less than an hour. If you’re really entrenched in your beliefs and resistant to the process, maybe it will take you 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply quit early (like within the first 15 minutes) or won’t even attempt it at all. But if you’re drawn to read this blog (and haven’t been inclined to ban it from your life yet), then it’s doubtful you fall into this group.

How To Treat People

2008-12-13T07:23:00.001-08:00

We all want to have a life full of success. Many people assume without question that success is essentially material, that it can be measured in money, prestige, or an abundance of possessions. These can certainly play a role, but having such things is no guarantee of success. The success that we should strive for is the ability to love and have compassion, the capacity to feel joy and spread it to others, the security of knowing that one�s life serves a purpose, and finally, a sense of connection to the power of the universe. All of these are what create the dimensions of success, which will bring inner fulfillment. We as human beings are made of mind, body, and spirit. Of these, spirit is the most important, for it connects us to the source of everything. In other words we can describe it as our conscience. The more clearly that we think, the more we will enjoy the abundance of the universe. Our conscience is broken down into many different layers, the most important being our self-esteem. Our self-esteem is portrayed by our interactions with others. Some simple examples of how we should use are self esteem is: � Always greet people with a smile. As simple as it sounds, a smile establishes your own self-worth and shares it with others. � Always say thank you when you are praised. A simple thank you is the universal mark of an individual with self-esteem. � Surround yourself with people who enjoy their work. People with self-esteem seem to radiate it to others. The second most important layer of the conscience is our attitude. A positive attitude means everything. Have you ever noticed when you enter a room with a huge smile on your face, give someone a comment and they immediately return with a smile? Being optimistic is a very important key factor in creating success, especially in the workforce. Too many people spend too much time every day thinking of past hurts. They image every grudge vividly in their minds. Instead they need to learn how to use their minds to create scenes of positive, pleasing emotions. We are not responsible for what happens out there or what others do or think. We are responsible only for how we choose to respond. That�s our attitude. The responsibility is ours. Perseverance is the third important layer of our conscience. We need to learn how to be relentless and persistent in visualizing our goals and dreams of achievement. Happiness is a learned habit. Constantly practicing the principles of self-esteem and having a positive attitude when times are tough will make your perseverance take control of any situation. Do more than you are asked and contribute more than is required and you will find yourself catching on to things quicker. Self-discipline is yet another important layer. Don�t be a slave to your emotions and impulses; be in charge of your feelings. Individuals, who have mastered, their emotions through self-discipline are among the most successful workers. They are free to do their job well and are liberated from self-destructive habits that weaken the joy of working. Self-discipline is: holding your ground when you�d rather run away; counting to ten when you would rather explode with anger; keeping a smile on your face when you would rather cave in; working hard when you would rather give up. Self-discipline and motivation can effect permanent change in your self-image and your capacity for joy. Motivation will bring you to a whole different level of thought, if you let it. Sometimes it�s hard to get motivated, but if you can convince yourself using self-discipline, it will enable you to think big. External motivators including incentives, books, bonuses, meetings, etc. have little power until you yourself want to change your life for the better. To be motivated means to enjoy the thrill of achievement; welcome the challenge to get there and have an intense desire to change for the better. Paying value to others is also very important. Communication is very important, especially inside the work force. Its important to learn to treat people more like brothers and sisters. Paying more value to everyone you encounter in your workplace, and of course your friends and family. Listening is a very important factor of communication. When someone is talking to you give him or her your full attention. When you speak, project constructive, supportive ideas. Be neither cynical nor critical. Learn to accept other peoples point of views, even if they are opposed to your own. Conversation has basically become the practice of two people taking turns talking. Don�t be to busy thinking about what you are going to say next. Practice the lost art of listening. Visualization is also an important layer. Everything we are and are not at this moment is the result of our thinking�conscious or subconscious. It is the way we get our level of self-esteem. If we want to rise out self-esteem, we must exchange out self-image. This is done by visualization. Ninety percent of us think in pictures. Visualization is most successful when all five senses are used. If you�re uncertain as to whether you can visualize or not, try this simple test: think of a beautiful rose. Imagine its color and texture and even its scent. If you can see that rose in your mind without going out to the garden to look at one, you can visualize. It is also said that ninety-five percent of our action and reactions are subconsciously motivated. In other words, the majority of things we do day-to-day basis are the result of our past thinking. Most of this programming takes place when we are infants. Some people say that a child in his first few years of life may learn up to twenty-five times as much every day as an adult does. That is why it is so important to program children with positive images. If you want to think differently about yourself, if you want to look and act differently, you must begin to visualize yourself in new ways. The Old Testament teaches us that As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 27:7) Everyone needs a place where they can think without interruption, to visualize, meditating, to pray, and to plan. The best place to go is where you feel the most relaxed. Some people are able to go into meditative states when they jog. The best place for me is when I am in the shower. I can lock the door; and review my overall objectives, relax, close my eyes, and visualize the things I�m trying to accomplish. If used right, visualization is one of the best ways to raise self-esteem. We must learn how to incorporate personal satisfaction in to our life. We must learn to appreciate each moment of our working days. If the work gets boring go right to the basics and appreciate your hands and mind which functions so efficiently. Use your powers of visualization to see yourself succeeding in your goals. Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won�t taste good. This quote by Joe Paterno, is a good analogy which says, you must be satisfied with every choice you make, and never show regret. A clear conscience is absolutely essential to enjoying success. Success must be built from the inside out. important steps to become a successful person The first step to success is to think big and always believe in yourself in whatever you do. Most of us have daydreams of a better life-style, whether that means a better paying job, a bigger house, a business of our own, more time to spend with our families or on our favorite pastimes. Some of us aren�t sure what we want, but we do know we want something better. Through my research I have developed some important steps to take, to become successful. Each step is broken down and describes the different aspects towards reaching and maintaining success. setting goals The first step we must take is to set out goals and to make our dreams come true. Goals save you time. They help to direct your energy and enthusiasm. They provide an immediate purpose to work toward. When we have goals, it gives us something to get excited about. It is important to create mini-goals, which will give you the chance to experience continual success. Not only do you have the satisfaction of looking forward to your big dream, but you can also enjoy smaller successes along the way. There are four different guidelines to create a short-term goal: � Set a goal you can visualize yourself achieving. � Set a goal that is measurable and concrete. � Attack all your goals with enthusiasm. � Set goals that will not allow for procrastination. use your imagination The next step we must take is to use our imagination. We must learn to use and trust our imagination. The principle of personal readiness is one of the most important aspects for turning a daydream or goal into reality. Although visualization and daydreaming can help in our pursuit, they are only effective when combined with hard work. Students want the best jobs, but they just aren�t willing to turn themselves into the qualified people most companies are seeking. The Bible teaches that you cannot put new wine in old bottles. So it is with goals and daydreams. You cannot make them true until you have developed the personality, skills, and strengths necessary for the experience. learning how to be patient Our next step is to enable us to solve problems quickly and efficiently. We must learn however to be patient. We often choose quick, short-term solutions to big problems because we want a fast escape from the stress and anxiety that the negative situation brings. We get so unhappy and uncomfortable that we set aside our better judgment and put out energy and money into ineffective treatments. One good way to relieve stress is to take a walk or to go jogging. Scientific studies have shown that physical exercise can actually block out mental and emotional thoughts. Success, the one word that we all want to live up to. Why do we all want to be successful? The answer to that is easy; to be a happier, wealthier, prestigious person, right? Well we all know that success doesn�t come to easy. Throughout this report I discussed the essential elements of what it takes to become a successful person. And I also stated the steps to take to become more successful. Success is a very important value for anyone to incorporate. We all have had our bad times in school, work, and personal affairs, but we can�t let those problems bring us down. We must think that every time we fail, we must analyze the failure and teach ourselves to learn what it is that made us fail. And from each experience we must take all the things we did right and expand them. In other words we must learn to give a hundred and ten percent and never give up. Remember the first step to success is to think big and always believe in yourself in whatever you do.

Five forgotten rules of the Law of Attraction

2008-12-13T07:16:00.000-08:00

The Law of Attraction has become a buzz phrase in the last few years and a phrase that you either love or hate. Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not it is still useful to look at it and apply some of the principles and experiment with them.

I have used the principles of the law of attraction on a daily basis and do see a huge difference in my life. However I have noticed a few things along the way which hinder my progress. When you know these five forgotten rules you can speed up the power of your intentions.

The five forgotten rules

The more you use it the more it works – A few people have said to me that the LOA doesn’t work for them. when asked what they are doing they inevitably tell me they have tried the ‘visualization thing’ for a few days and it doesn’t work for them. I have asked them how long would they play the lottery before expecting to win anything, some said a lifetime, some said a few years, and various other answers were offered. LOA is akin to the lottery and it’s rules. First of all you have to buy a ticket before you can win it. Secondly you have to buy a ticket every week to increase your chances, however slim, of winning anything.So it is with LOA: You have to practice it everyday to gain anything from it. Unlike the lottery you always win, whether it be attracting all your goals, decreasing your stress levels through visualization, increasing you mental abilities through visualization, meeting new people along the path to your goals, you always win.

Juice your intentions up with emotion – I have discovered that if I simply state an intention and visualize it and forget about it, it doesn’t come to me. If I visualize it and give it real emotions and do this everyday my goals will happen. Giving your intentions emotions are giving them energy, when you create the energy you have momentum, when you have momentum you create a power, when you have the power you are listened to, when you are listened to you will achieve your goals.This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to not achieving your desires. You have to give your desires and visualizations energy and to create the enrgy put some emotion into it.

Give out more than you take – I believe that LOA is about balance in all it’s forms. If you achieve your financial goals give some back to charity or the community or offer your services free. If you achieve you goal of finding your perfect partner show gratitude by treating your partner and their family the right way. If you achieve your goal of passing your university exams make sure you use the degree wisely.

Show gratitude – The reason you are here today, reading this article, is that you believed you would wake up today safe and well. A lot of people don’t have that luxury. We all get mixed up in our own worlds, and we all take our world for granted. Why not take five minutes a day to show we are grateful for the world we have.
Only tell people about your success when it has been completed – This is a strange phenomenon I have noticed with the LOA. For example I had a goal to make a success of affiliate marketing and I was doing great until I started telling people about it. I wrote a post on it, I told some friends and family and almost overnight the sales stopped. And this has happened a lot in my life.I have thought about this a lot and I have come up with a reason for this:When you have an intention you work toward it and keep working until it is achieved. When you are in the middle of working toward it and you tell people about it’s current success you mind has decided you have reached your goal and therefore the energy of the intention disappears.
Taking the affiliate marketing example. I worked for months studying affiliate marketing, tried a few things and failed a few times. Then I finally had some success and was making money. At this point I hadn’t told anybody about it and had a lot of drive and energy to continue making it a success. However as soon as I told someone about it my drive dropped a little, my mind energy was a little depleted with the goal and the success stopped overnight. It’s because the mind energy for that goal has lost it’s power as it already thinks you have achieved your goal as you are telling everyone how much a success you are.

The Id, the Ego, the Super-ego and your goals.

2008-12-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

A lot of people find it difficult to reach their goals and consistently give up on them, often thinking themselves a failure for giving up. This compounds their fears and pretty soon they are afraid to try anything new for fear of failing. Well, it’s time to buck the trend and finally reach your goals.

How is it possible to reach my goals now if I’ve failed in the past?

Every single person on this planet can reach their goals if they really want to. Don’t worry I’m not going to give you stories of people who have overcome, seemingly, impossible hurdles to reach their goals. This is about you, nobody else. Every time you set yourself a goal or a target you are wrestling with yourself. However there are ways to give yourself a fighting chance of reaching your goals.

A scenario

You’re all ready to go, you’ve set yourself a goal in your head and you’re saying ‘Right, this is the first day of the rest of my life’ you screw your face up like a sherpa puppy dog, clench your fists and say ‘I’m going to do it this time!’ Then a few days later you don’t reach your goal and say ‘Oh well, I knew it wouldn’t work anyway, but I gave it my best shot.’

Did you really give it you best shot?

Here is the conversation of the above scenario between you Id and your Super-Ego

Id: ‘I want to reach that goal‘
Super-Ego: ‘We’ve been here before and it’s sure to fail, look at everything we have to do to reach that goal, it’ll be too hard’
Id: I don’t care I want to have it!
Ego: Okay, let’s plan this, we all want the same goal but we have to take it easy.
Super-Ego: ‘Ego, we have failed in the past what’s the point of even trying.’
Ego: Let’s just try again, we’ve had some success in the past.’
Id: ‘Yeah, yeah, knock yourself out, go for it.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Super-Ego: ‘Oh well, I knew it wouldn’t work anyway, but I gave it my best shot.’
Id: ‘Of course you did, you thought about it really hard, you did lots of good work (Sarcastic tone), you didn’t take any bloody action but you did think about it really hard, it’s a shame it didn’t work out, I still want it.
Ego: This is another thing that’s going to dent my confidence in the future, maybe I should hold back a bit more and listen to the Super-Ego.

The Id, the Ego and the Super-Ego

Most of us have heard of the Id, the Ego and the Super Ego, they were terms coined by Freud as part of the Structural Theory of the personality.

The Id is the part of you that craves pleasure and the basic desires in life like food, water and sex. When it gets the basics it moves on to other pleasure seeking thrills; ‘I want that new car it’ll make me feel so happy, I want a new dress, I want a new house’ it’s always want, want, want with the Id.

The Super-Ego will give you all the reasons why it will or won’t work, it will look to your past and look at the successes and failings of the past and correlate it with your current goals.

The Ego is the go between for the Id and the Super-Ego trying to satisfy both of them with reasoning and acts like the mother/father figure.

How will this help with reaching your goals

Knowing that the Id and the Super-ego are constantly in battle is useful to know in many ways. For example, imagine setting yourself a goal of making 1 million pounds in 2 months. The Id is going crazy, jumping up and down thinking about all the pleasures it might bring. The super-ego is going crazy thinking about all the reasons it will never work and poor old ego is is stuck in the middle trying to appease both of them. When the goal to make 1million pounds fails, the Id is extremely annoyed, the Super-Ego is saying I told you so, I told you so and the Ego has it’s hands on it’s head saying ‘Oh my god, this is a nightmare.’
So your aim is to satisfy all 3 parts of the personality. How do you do this?

3 Ways to reach your goals quicker

Play to Your Strengths. Your Super-Ego refers to past successes and failures when it is deciding what to say to the unconscious mind and speaks directly to your mind by way of putting doubt and fear there. If you play to your strengths there is less chance that doubt will creep into your mind.
Smaller goals for larger gains. When you make a goal make it something that is going to be easily achievable at first. For example, set yourself a goal of earning $300 extra this month. The Id, the Ego and the Super-Ego can all live with this. When you’ve reached your target of $300, your next months goal will be higher, say $500. Now, because of your past success at reaching $300 the Super-ego won’t have a problem with the higher figure, The Id is excited and the Ego is happy.
Communicate your goals on different levels. When you set yourself a goal of any kind, make sure to communicate to your mind on different levels. These levels can be as follows:

Visualisation
Writing, write down all your goals
Acting, act like you’ve achieved your goal
Physical pictures (Like a scrap book)
Watch movies about the goal you desire
Listen to interviews of people who have achieved the goal you desire
Reading- read about successful people, read your goals everyday,

All of this helps to entrain your brain into thinking about success and directly communicates with the super-Ego to appease it and make it believe you can achieve your goals. In essence you are giving yourself evidence that your goals can be achieved.

How to Make Lots of Money During a Recession

2008-12-13T06:53:00.000-08:00

A recession is possibly the best time to launch a new business or to expand an existing one. It’s also a great time to get ahead in your career. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, so let me ’splain.

First, the media goes nuts during a recession. They turn a little bit of negativity into a mountain of pessimism. This makes a lot of people financially paranoid. People become socially conditioned to expect the worst.

If you buy into this social hysteria, you become a victim too.

But if you tune out such stupidity (not watching TV helps a lot) and maintain a grip on rational thought, you’ll see some amazing opportunities popping up everywhere you look.

During such times people get scared and start cutting back on expenses. They cut some of the fluff from their lives. They stop buying so much stuff they don’t need.

This causes some businesses to do poorly, especially businesses that don’t provide stuff we really need. We can live without new credit cards and gas-guzzling SUVs for a while. Those non-essentials can be put off.

We also become more sensitive to receiving genuine value. When we spend money, we want to make sure we’re getting a fair deal.

Consequently, businesses that provide genuine value can actually do better during a recession. More people will flock to those businesses in tough times, while the fluff businesses will become more and more paranoid.

In the USA there are a lot of fluff businesses. Many are based on the moocher mindset, trying to extract money without providing fair value in exchange. A lot of the dead or dying financial companies are like that. The American auto industry has been contracting as well, at least in part because they’ve been creating inferior products that people don’t really need. (Erin and I own a Honda, despite the fact that we could have gotten a significant discount on GM cars because two of my family members used to work for GM. We looked at some GM cars and quickly concluded they sucked. Other family members weren’t so lucky.)

A lot of people have been learning that job security doesn’t mean much these days. More than 500,000 Americans learned this lesson last month when they lost their “safe and secure” jobs.

The Stupid Approach to Making Money

Lately I’ve seen a lot of people, some of them friends, do some really dumb things in an attempt to earn more money. They buy into lame money-making programs, join and promote useless MLM schemes, and fall prey to scammers.

The common pattern is always the same — they’re focused on trying to make more money. They make it their top priority. They think about it constantly. But they keep getting sucked into trying to make money without providing any real value, and it’s unsustainable.

In the end this sort of thing eventually self-destructs. The only way to succeed with it in the long run is to find lots of suckers and basically rip them off in order to enrich yourself. Most people have a strong enough moral resistance to this sort of thing that they’ll sabotage themselves from going too far with it. This isn’t a path of long-term abundance. It’s a path of scarcity.

As a general rule, the people I know who are most focused on trying to make more money this year are doing worse, not better. In some cases they’re doing much worse. A few have lost or are in the process of losing their homes.

The exceptions are those that are able to sufficiently kill their conscience, so they can remove any incongruencies about ripping people off. But again, this is a pretty rare exception. Most people would rather deal with scarcity than knowingly rip people off to get ahead, so they just make the bare minimum to meet their needs and avoid getting ahead.

The Smart Approach to Making Money

There is a smarter approach, however.

Instead of focusing on trying to make more money, put your time and energy into CREATING and DELIVERING real value. Find a way to give people what they want and/or need.

Take note that the keywords here are CREATE and DELIVER.

Creating value means expressing your unique talents and skills in a way that can potentially benefit others.

Delivering value means ensuring that other people are actually receiving and benefiting from the value you’ve created.

If you don’t do both in some fashion, then it’s going to be hard for you to generate sustainable income, especially during a recession. I’ll explain why.

If you only create value but don’t deliver it, then your value isn’t being received by anyone. So how can you receive value (such as money) in return?

I see this problem a lot with creative types such as would-be artists, musicians, and writers. They may spend lots of time honing their craft, but if they don’t actually get that value into the hands of sufficient numbers of people, they struggle financially, and this hurts them creatively too. A goodly number of these people are currently seeing their homes in foreclosure now.

The sad thing is that some of these people work very hard. But they spend too much time creating and not nearly enough time delivering. They watch people they consider hacks pull ahead of them. The hacks may not be as good on the creative side, but at least they’re getting their value into people’s hands, and on some level people are appreciating their work.

I went down that road myself. In the late 90s, I went bankrupt, even though I was working very long hours and creating a lot of potential value in the form of a computer game my company was developing. My problem was that I didn’t do a good job of getting that value delivered. I relied on publishers to do that, and for various reasons the game was never released. That resulted in years of wasted effort, aside from the valuable learning experience that is. So I know where this road leads because I traveled it.

On the other hand, if you only deliver value but don’t create it, then you’re delivering someone else’s value. This isn’t a terrible approach in the short run, but it’s a short-sighted long-term strategy if this is all you do. There’s nothing particularly special about delivering other people’s value. Anyone can do it. Anyone can sign up for affiliate programs or join an MLM program or become a reseller. If this is your primary means of generating income, your long-term outlook is weak. The better this works for you, the more it will draw competitors into your field. Eventually everyone will be working harder and harder for scraps. This happens all the time. This strategy can be especially weak during a recession, as more people turn to less expensive sources for the same value you deliver, squeezing your profit margins thinner and thinner.

Bloggers fall into this trap when they rehash other people’s content and don’t really have anything unique or compelling to say. A year later their niche is flooded with competitors doing the same thing. And hardly anyone is earning decent income from it.

The most viable long-term strategy is to create AND deliver value. You can mix and match other strategies with it, but this should be your primary method of income generation. If you get good at creating and delivering value, you can basically write your own ticket and enjoy lots of abundance.

A Choice of Mindset

I know a lot of people are dealing with financial challenges these days. Las Vegas is basically the foreclosure capital of the USA right now. I know people who’ve lost their homes. I see “bank owned” signs all over the place.

If you’re going through something like this right now, I totally empathize with you.

However, I have to point out that the pattern of what causes this is so clear, it’s getting a bit ridiculous to see it play out over and over again.

Generally speaking, people who CREATE and DELIVER value are doing just fine. In fact, I’d say most are doing better, not worse. Many of these people are seeing their incomes go up during this time.

People who don’t CREATE and DELIVER value are seeing their finances grow progressively worse. This leads many of them to panic, so they head even further away from creating and delivering value (such as by chasing lame money-making schemes), which only quickens the decline to insolvency.

I know it seems logical that if you’re seeing your finances decline, then you should focus single-mindedly on trying to make more money as quickly as possible. People fall into this trap all the time. I used to fall for it too. This is absolutely the wrong strategy though. I know that must sound counter-intuitive.

The correct strategy is that when you see your finances decline and you want to increase your income, then you need to focus on CREATING and DELIVERING more value. If you do that, then you’re doing the very thing that will generate a sustainable income increase.

What is money? Money is simply a medium for exchanging value. Money is what you receive in exchange for the value you create and deliver. If you can increase your outflow of value creation and delivery, you can increase your inflow of money received.

If, however, you try to increase the inflow of money without increasing the outflow of value, you’re trying to get something for nothing. This approach is untenable and will ultimately collapse. Please don’t waste your time on it.

I actually figured this out right around the time I was declaring bankruptcy. I was totally broke, yet I found a way to focus my energy on creating and delivering value instead of on trying to scrape together more money. Within about six months, I was back on my feet financially, and year after year my financial situation just kept getting better. I started on this path about 9 years ago, and I’ve maintained a nice positive cash flow every year since then.

I know that when you’re in a financial crunch situation, six months may seem like a long time. But it doesn’t matter if it takes you several months or several years to get in the habit of creating and delivering value. The time is going to pass anyway, and this habit will serve you well for life. Be patient and get started. It doesn’t matter what happens to the economy — if you keep creating and delivering value, you’ll do just fine.

A Record Year

Financially, 2008 was the best year ever for Erin and me. Erin had a six-figure year all on her own just from doing readings.

I expect that 2009 will be an even better year for us, regardless of what happens to the economy. How do I know? Because it’s another year we can create and deliver value, adding to what we’ve already created.

Why are we enjoying increases while others are experiencing decline?

First, it helps that we don’t have jobs. I haven’t been employed by someone in more than 16 years. Many people mistakenly assume that being jobless is the riskier route, but that’s nonsense. It’s much less risky to control your own means of creating and delivering value than to be a pawn of some larger entity. No matter how bad the economy gets, Erin and I can’t get fired or laid off. So our career paths enjoy much more stability.

Secondly, while others are tightening up and cutting costs, Erin and I focus our attention on creating and delivering more value to people. The way we go about this may seem a bit counter-intuitive at first glance.

For example, I wrote a lot about diet and health this year, such as by sharing my experiences with the raw food diet.

That may not appear to be a very sexy topic. Some people find it totally uninteresting and would prefer that I write about other things. My health articles never make it big on social bookmarking sites, so they don’t generally yield a major traffic boost either.

However, such articles can provide a lot of value to people who are interested in those topics. Many people have made significant lifestyle changes after reading those articles, improving their health and/or enjoying significant weight loss. For some people the benefits have been amazing.

So even though these articles might not seem too exciting at first glance, they make a difference in people’s lives. Obviously they don’t affect everyone equally, but that’s okay. They certainly do a lot of good. They deliver value.

Many bloggers post content with the intention of getting something, such as links, attention, or sales. I’ve done some of that too, but I generally avoid creating that style of content. Instead I remind myself to stay focused on creating and delivering value. I know that when I keep my focus on that side, the rest takes care of itself.

This is an example of such an article. I didn’t write this piece to get something from you. I don’t expect it will become a huge hit. I know that because of the length, many people won’t even bother to read it.

But I also know that for many of the people who take the time to read it, this article has the potential to create some subtle yet helpful shifts. It may give someone the extra insight needed to get moving in a new direction. Someone, somewhere will receive positive value from it.

That’s all I intend with this article. Just provide some kind of benefit to someone who could use a little encouragement in the right direction. It’s not that complicated. This sort of focus inspires me to share what I’ve learned openly and honestly, even if it runs contrary to the way most people think.

I know this approach sounds overly simplistic, but if you get this — if you really get it — then it’s really not that hard to generate plenty of income.

Turning Value Into Income

So how does one generate income from creating and delivering value? Can’t you run into a problem of creating and delivering lots of value and making no money from it?

As it turns out, making money is the easy part. If you can create and deliver value to people, the income opportunities will literally come to you. People will practically line up with ways for you to make money. I’m serious.

Here’s how this works.

If you get good at creating value, you can connect with other people who are good at delivering value. They deliver your value, such as by selling it, and they pay you a royalty, commission, or licensing fee.

For example, Hay House offered me a book deal last year, so I wrote a book called Personal Development for Smart People, and it was published in September. I received an advance for the book, and I’ll also receive ongoing royalties based on sales. I might even receive royalties from this book for the rest of my life, especially since the content is timeless. Also, writing a book has lead to other opportunities, such as paid speaking engagements. So in this case I created the value (the book), but others deliver it.

Now suppose you get good at delivering value. In this case you can generate income by plugging other people’s value into your delivery system. For example, my blog is great at delivering value. It’s a very efficient medium for that. But since I give my value away for free, it doesn’t generate income directly. However, I can generate plenty of income by promoting other people’s products that I like. Then I split the profits from sales with the publisher. I earn six figures a year just from doing that. The product publishers come to me. I get way more offers for this sort of thing than I can handle. It doesn’t require a lot of work to do this. Once you have a system for delivering value, you can plug other people’s value into it and generate lots of extra income.

If you have the means to create AND deliver strong value, you’ll have so many opportunities it will be totally ridiculous. First, you can plug the value you create into other people’s delivery systems, so you can earn ongoing royalties and such. This is easy residual income. I’m still getting checks every month for deals I entered years ago.

Secondly, you can plug other people’s creative value into your own delivery system. You pay them a royalty on the sales, or they pay you as an affiliate. Once again you generate ongoing residual income. As long as you’re selective about the products you promote, doing your best to ensure that they provide strong value, everyone is happy, and everyone wins.

Thirdly, you can plug your value into your own delivery system. Strangely, this is something I haven’t done yet with my blog, although I used to do it all the time with my computer games business. This is something I intend to explore in 2009. It simply means that I could create and sell my own products direct. Many other bloggers have already done this with great success, releasing e-books, audio programs, DVDs, etc. They create the value and sell it directly to their visitors.

A big chunk of the income I received in 2008 was from work I did in previous years. I could do no work for all of 2009 and just live off the residual income I know is coming. That’s a nice situation to be in. It’s no accident though. Years ago I decided that this is how I wanted to set up my financial life, and then I focused on creating and delivering value to make it work. There’s no reason you can’t use the same strategy. It isn’t trademarked.

Avoiding Distraction

Once you develop the habit of creating and delivering value, it’s pretty hard to fail. However, it’s very easy to get distracted along the way. Distraction is perhaps your biggest obstacle.

You can’t get sucked into every money-making scheme that crosses your plate. Getting sucked into a job, where you have to trade hours for dollars, is just as bad. These are dead ends you should avoid by any means.

You have to stay focused on creating and delivering value. Everything that detracts from this focus should be viewed as an expense, obstacle, or just plain evil.

This is so important, but most people just don’t get how important it is.

Getting a job is such a bad idea if you want to enjoy long-term financial abundance. The odds of success on that path are so low, it’s not even worth considering.

Seriously, you are better off being broke and homeless, so you can focus on creating and delivering value from that place. You’re much worse off if you have to waste day after day showing up to work for someone else. That won’t move you closer to financial abundance. It will only distract you further.

If I had to choose between being homeless and getting a full-time job, I’d go the homeless route. Having a job would be 10x worse. As a homeless person, I could stay hungry and focused on creating and delivering value. I might not have the means to produce much value at first, but at least I could get out there in front of people and deliver something. It would be a good start on the right path.

A job is just a monstrous distraction. In many ways it’s a modernized form of slavery.

Homelessness is a huge upgrade from traditional employment. Have you ever talked to a homeless person? Some of them find the idea of having a job insulting — it represents a loss of freedom. Sure you smell better and can get a nicer place to live, but you lose your humanity in the process. Perhaps such people realize something you don’t.

Employment is the ultimate form of destitution.

Fortunately, employment is an easy problem to fix. If you have a job, just stop showing up. The rest will take care of itself. Pretty soon you’ll feel some motivation and drive to start creating and delivering value, especially if you happen to like eating.

Genuine opportunities are based on creating and/or delivering value. If you see something that looks like a new opportunity, and it doesn’t require you to create value, and it doesn’t require you to deliver value, then it isn’t an opportunity. It’s a total waste of your time.

Is creating and delivering value harder than getting a job? I would say no, not at all. Having a job is a lot harder. With a job you still have to provide some form of value usually, but all the residual benefits you produce turn into residual income for someone else. So you’re already doing most of what needs to be done, but you aren’t enjoying any of the benefits. In the long run, you’ll probably have to work much harder if you have a job, but the bulk of the rewards will go to someone else. On the one hand, that’s generous, but on the other hand, it’s quite dumb.

I could get a job as a writer and get paid a certain amount for each word I write. But then someone else owns my work, and all the residuals from that work go to them. Alternatively, I could write articles for my own website and retain the freedom to republish them as books someday, use them to generate traffic (and thereby income), license them for various publications, use them to promote my book, etc. The correct strategy is a no-brainer really.

Trying to make money is itself a distraction. When you focus on making money, too many things will catch your eye. You’ll run around like a chicken with its head cut off, chasing down all sorts of things that look like opportunities. You’ll waste a lot of time and energy if you chase dollars.

Creating and delivering value is simpler. This focus is well-aligned with truth, love, and power.

When you create and deliver value, you can be open and honest about what you’re doing. You get to spend most of your time doing stuff you’d naturally enjoy. It’s pleasurable to hone a craft you’re passionate about, whether it be writing articles, composing music, or planting gardens. It’s much harder to do boring, non-creative work day after day. It’s also very empowering to share your value with others and to see that you’re making a positive difference in people’s lives.

Once you make a habit of creating and delivering value as your primary career focus, you won’t want to go back.

There’s More to Life Than Money

Of all the things I do as part of my “work,” making money plays only a small role. Despite having written some popular articles on the subject, I spend little time thinking about money these days.

I don’t even bother to set financial goals anymore. That seems totally pointless to me.

Sometimes months go by, and I don’t even know how much money I’m currently making. I just know there’s always plenty and that I’m earning more than I’m spending. The gap is wide enough that I don’t need to do any special budgeting or fussing with figures.

The reason this works for me is that I focus on creating and delivering value. I know that as long as I keep doing that, I don’t have to do anything special to try to make money. New opportunities just keep showing up. It’s not that difficult to maintain.

I remember when I was at a conference in 2004 where Dr. Wayne Dyer was speaking. He said that people would come up and say, “You know, Dr. Dyer. Some people say you’ve made a LOT of money.”

Dr. Dyer’s response was, “They would be right.”

He went on to say something along these lines: “It’s not my fault! I just keep doing what I’m doing, and there’s always plenty of abundance there.”

At the time it was hard for me to relate to this mindset. It seems a bit too unrealistic and exceptional. But still… I wondered what it would be like to live at that level, where you could just assume abundance and it would be there for you. No striving or struggling. It took a few years, but I’m finally grasping what that sort of mindset feels like.

I’d say it’s not really a complete mindset by itself though. I doubt very much that Dr. Dyer focuses a lot of attention on trying to make money. I think most of his attention is elsewhere, wrapped up in the material he writes about. And that’s exactly where it should be.

Having written about two dozen books, it’s safe to say that Dr. Dyer has internalized the concept of creating and delivering value. I have it on good authority that his books sell quite well too. (We share the same publisher.)

Incidentally, Erin and I finally had the chance to meet Dr. Dyer in October at the speakers’ dinner for the I Can Do It! Conference. We only spoke with him for a few minutes. He was very warm and friendly.

This whole abundance mindset might sound really annoying if you’re dealing with financial scarcity right now. I can totally relate. I’ve been there, and I’m sure I’d have been equally annoyed if someone said this sort of stuff to me back then. I’d have been vehement that making money was NOT easy because I tried very hard to do that and failed big at it. Ironically the real problem was that by focusing on making money, I was making a huge mistake.

The key is where you focus your attention. If you focus your attention on making money, I can virtually guarantee that you’ll have a long and difficult road ahead of you, filled with setbacks and disappointments. If money is really what you seek, good luck with that. All you’ll do is give more and more of your power away, and you’ll end up living a pretty empty and shallow life.

Another corrupt form of thinking is to focus your attention on attracting financial abundance. Law of Attraction promoters often present this as a good idea. I once thought it was a good idea too. Now I realize it’s a dead end. It will just run you in circles. The irony is that in order to enjoy real financial abundance, you want to be thinking about money as little as possible.

I know it sounds like focusing on money is the right idea. I assure you that it’s a mistake. If you need to take several years to figure that out the hard way like I did, be my guest. But you’ll be really pissed that you could have saved yourself all that trouble if you simply let these ideas sink in a bit deeper. I hope that on some level what I’m saying strikes you as common sense. But I know I’ll be getting emails five years from now from a few people who went the other route. I hope you aren’t one of them.

Try to recognize the truth that focusing on CREATING and DELIVERING value is the smarter, more sane approach to long-term financial abundance. You may start out a bit slow at first, but eventually you’ll learn how to get good at both pieces of this puzzle. Once you have both aspects working reasonably well, it’s awesome. Just plain wonderful. And it leads to a really fun and exciting life too. Lots of freedom. Lots of joy. Plenty of cash. And yet the cash doesn’t even matter.

The nice thing about having plenty of money is that you can largely ignore it. You can focus your attention on doing more important, more interesting, and more enjoyable things. The funny thing is that it’s this sort of focus that creates financial abundance in the first place. Then you come full circle and realize that you never needed money at all. You just needed the courage to go after your dreams full steam ahead, even when you were dead broke. You needed to stop hiding behind a lack of money as an excuse not to live your best life.

If I could learn and apply this lesson while going bankrupt and having less than $100 in the bank, surely you can apply it today. I learned that I could create and deliver value even when I had no money and few resources. It wasn’t the greatest value in the world mind you, but at least it was something. I focused on creating something people would like and enjoy. Then I got it into their hands and made sure they enjoyed it. Back then it was a simple computer game. Today I do pretty much the same thing with blogging. The content is different, but the overall strategy is the same.

The DELIVERING part needn’t be complicated. If you just create something and share it online, other people will spread it around if they like it.

If you’ve been putting your value out there for months and months, and you haven’t been able to generate much interest from others, that should tell you that your mistakes are on the creative side. The feedback is that people don’t care for what you’re producing. You think you’re creating value, but the world is saying, “Not good enough; we don’t need or want this.” So you need to adapt to that feedback and use it to improve. Let it encourage you to go deeper within yourself, so you can be more genuine and authentic. Become more real and less phony. Keep working at becoming a more expressive creator until people start to take notice. Then you’re golden.

What About the Economy?

Personally I think that economic recessions, including the current one, are a good thing. Recessions help to weed out the crappy companies that aren’t creating and delivering value people want. Many of those companies were doing a good job at one time, but they failed to keep pace. As our values change, our companies need to adapt. Companies that can’t do that deserve to die off, and the jobs they created should be eliminated. They’ll eventually be replaced by new companies that have a better sense of people’s current needs and desires. Company that just don’t “get it” will be replaced by companies that do.

Consider the notion of bailing out the failing U.S. auto companies by having the taxpayers fund them. Is this a good idea? It’s okay except for one small problem — it’s STUPID! It’s one of the dumbest things our political reps could possibly do with our tax dollars. An auto company bailout is definitely not in the best interests of our country, nor is it in the best interests of the auto workers themselves. It’s totally short-sighted. And FWIW I think the whole financial bailout was just as dumb.

I have family members who used to work for GM for years (not in the automobile division of the company though). If they were still working for GM today, I’d sooner see them lose their jobs and have to find new work elsewhere than encourage them to live under the illusion that their company should continue doing business as usual. As I mentioned previously, Erin and I bought a Japanese car in 2006 even though we could have gotten a great price break on a GM model with the family discount. We just didn’t like any GM cars.

During a recession some companies are going to die off. That’s a good thing. To artificially prop up the proven market losers is just dumb. Sure, it will have some rippling consequences. But those ripples are necessary. We need that sort of self-correction to prevent bigger problems down the road. We need to send a message that if you fail to create and deliver value people genuinely want, your business will ultimately fail, and no amount of political lobbying will save you. Of course we get the opposite result when too many people think that the point of life is to chase dollars, especially our politicians. Can you blame them though? Have you ever been known to fall into the same trap?

It’s better — and much more compassionate — for millions of auto workers to lose their jobs and be re-integrated back into society, where they can start doing socially useful work again instead of wasting their time doing work that simply isn’t needed anymore. If it takes years, it takes years. There are other companies that are doing a better job of providing what people want and adapting to the planet’s changing transportation needs. Giving more money to the losers is a stupid strategy.

Similarly, if you work for a company that is falling out of sync with creating and delivering value that people want, you should indeed lose your job. It’s better to retrain yourself to do more meaningful work elsewhere than to waste your time doing work that isn’t needed. Becoming obsolete is a trap that can be avoided. Even if you’re an employee, you still need to make sure you’re contributing to the creation and delivery of real value. If you fall away from that, it’s only a matter of time before you get the axe, so don’t be too surprised when it happens.

A Value-Centered Career

How do you know if you’re creating and delivering real value?

Ask yourself these questions: If you stopped doing what you do, who would care? Who would object loudly? Who would revolt?

If you’re creating and delivering genuine value, and you suddenly stop, people will notice. People will definitely care. Your contribution will be seriously missed. There will practically be rioting in the streets.

Such people may not even credit the value to you directly, especially if your contribution remains somewhat anonymous, but they’ll soon detect that something important is missing from their lives. Even if they don’t know your name, the removal of your ongoing value creation and delivery will have a definite effect.

If, however, hardly anyone cares that you stopped, that should tell you something. It means that people just didn’t value your creative output… not really. What you were doing was either unnecessary or easily replaced. You weren’t yet living as a conscious, self-actualized human being. You held back from shining as brightly as you could have.

You have a choice of whether or not you want this to be your fate. You may have been conditioned from a young age to view your life path in terms of getting a job and making money. Go ahead and live that way for a few years if you think it’s intelligent. You’ll soon see what a pointless, soulless dead-end it really is.

When you finally begin to hear that subtle inner voice screaming at you, “This is just so wrong,” realize that it’s still possible to live a life of fun, freedom, and fulfillment — and still make plenty of money and not starve. But in order to get there, you have to focus on doing what really matters. You must clear your head of all that socially conditioned nonsense and stop doing what everyone else is doing.

Start living as a conscious human being, not a mindless minion. Focus on expressing your child-like creativity on a daily basis. Stop thinking so much about making money, and focus on connecting with people and sharing your creations with them instead.

Create and deliver. Create and deliver.

The correct focus for financial abundance is so simple it’s ridiculous. You learned it in kindergarten.

You: “Hey, look at this picture I made!” (Value created)

Adult: “Wow. That’s awesome! You made my day!” (Value received)

My five-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter pretty much have it figured out. If they just keep doing what they naturally like to do, they’ll be able to enjoy financial abundance as adults too.

My job as a parent isn’t so much to teach them something new in this area — it’s to prevent them from being brainwashed into thinking like everyone else.

It took me about 5 hours to write and edit this 6,000-word article. I wasn’t even planning to write an article today. But I got inspired by an idea, so I sat down and wrote the whole thing in a single sitting.

My investment of time and energy on the creative side was fixed. But this article will keep delivering value to people for many years to come. That’s a good investment then, isn’t it?

It doesn’t matter whether or not this article generates income for me. I don’t think about it like that. I just know that if I keep creating and delivering value, I’ll continue to enjoy financial abundance, and I’ll feel really good too. Money is basically a non-entity. It doesn’t motivate action, nor does it serve as a reward. It’s just something that recedes into the background while real life is unfolding.

I’d love for you to be able to enjoy similar benefits if this is something that appeals to you. It all starts with the choice of where you focus your attention. The more you pursue your own creative self-expression, the less you’ll have to fuss over money.

The irony is that this is probably what you tell yourself you’ll do when you finally have enough money, but that sort of thinking is a trap that will only keep you stuck. The way you would live if/when you’re enjoying financial abundance, start living that way now, for that’s the very strategy that will produce the abundance you seek. And when you begin to experience financial abundance, you’ll realize that you never needed it to begin with. You just needed the courage to start expressing the real you under the conditions you find yourself in this very moment.

This article has taken so many twists and turns, I think I’ve left the original title far behind by now. But somehow I think it still fits.

10 Stupid Mistakes Made by the Newly Self-Employed

2008-12-13T06:35:00.000-08:00

Having been a non-employee for about 14 years now, I’ve made my share of stupid business mistakes. I’ve also coached a number of people to start their own businesses, and I’ve seen many of them make similar mistakes. This advice is geared towards small business owners, particularly people who are just starting (or about to start) their own business.

1. Selling to the wrong people.

While sales are important to the survival of any business, you don’t need to push your business on everyone you meet, including friends and family. Furthermore, it’s a waste of time to try selling to people who simply don’t need what you’re offering.

Selling to the wrong people includes trying to sell to everyone. Some customers are much easier to sell to than others. For example, my wife does web consulting for small businesses, and she’s learned that some clients are much harder to work with than others. If a potential customer is broke and obsessively worried about every nickel they spend, if they want a web site but don’t know why, or if they simply don’t understand the Internet well enough, they won’t be a good client in the long run. Feel free to say no to customers that are more trouble than they’re worth. Let your competitors sell to them instead. You’ll save yourself many headaches, and you’ll free up more time to focus on serving the best customers.

Just because someone is interested in doing business with you doesn’t mean you should accept. In my first year in business, I probably said yes to at least 50% of the people who approached me with a potential business relationship. I wasted a lot of time pursuing deals that were too much of a stretch to begin with. I accepted lunch invitations from random business people who just wanted to “see if there’s a way we could do something together.” Virtually none of them made me a dime. If you think a meeting is pointless, it probably is. Don’t network with random people just because you think you’re supposed to network. Today I accept such invitations less than 1/10 as often. If an offer doesn’t excite me right away, I usually decline or ignore it. Most relationships simply aren’t worth pursuing. Learn to say no to the weak opportunities so you have the capacity to say yes to the golden opportunities.

2. Spending too much money.

Until you have a steady cashflow coming in, don’t spend your precious start-up cash unless it’s absolutely necessary. I started my computer games business with about $20,000 cash (my own money), and it went fast; shortly thereafter I was using debt to finance the business. Unfortunately, the original business model didn’t work, and it took five years before the business was generating a positive cashflow. I soon learned that every dollar invested in the business was another dollar that eventually had to be recouped from sales.

In 2004 I started this personal development business with only $9 cash even though I could have spent much more on it. No fancy logo, no snazzy web design, no business cards or stationary. I paid to register the domain name, and that was it. That’s as much as I was willing to spend before I started generating a positive cashflow. All other business expenditures came out of that cashflow.

Your business should put cash into your pocket, so before you “invest” money into it, be clear on how you’re going to pull that cash back out again.

Obviously some businesses require lots of cash to start, but in the age of the Internet business, you can very easily start a lucrative business for pocket change.

3. Spending too little money.

It’s also a mistake to be too stingy with your cash. Don’t let frugality get in the way of efficiency. Take advantage of skilled contractors who can do certain tasks more efficiently than you can. Buy decent equipment when it’s clear you’ll get your money’s worth. You don’t have to overspend on fancy furniture, but get functional furniture that helps you be more productive. Don’t use an antiquated computer with outdated software that slows you down if you can afford something better.

It takes time to develop the wisdom to know when you’re being too tight or too loose with your cash, so if you’re just starting out, get a second opinion. Often the very thought of getting a second opinion makes the correct choice clear. If you can’t justify the expenditure to someone you respect, it’s probably a mistake. On the other hand, there are situations where it’s hard to justify not spending the cash.

4. Putting on a fake front.

Many one-person businesses refer to themselves as “we.” That’s something a lot of new entrepreneurs do, but it isn’t necessary. There’s nothing wrong with a one-person business, especially today. My games business has mostly been a we over the years, but my personal development business is still an I. My wife’s VegFamily Magazine business is a we, since she has a staff working for her, but her web consulting business is an I. It’s perfectly OK to refer to your business as an I when you’re the only one working in it. Pretending that you’re a we when you’re really an I is a bit silly. It’s not going to gain you any respect in a way that matters. Promoting yourself as an I may even be an advantage today, since people will know the buck stops with you, and if you make a promise, you’re the one who will carry it out. Promises from a we sometimes aren’t worth very much.

If you’re a newly self-employed person, don’t pretend you’re anything else. Price your products and services fairly for your level of skills and talents. Some newly self-employed people think they must become actors. The business they promote to the world is pure fantasy. Trying to fool your customers in this manner will only backfire. If you’re so desperate for business that you need to lie, you shouldn’t be starting your own business. If you can’t provide real value and charge fairly for it, don’t play the game of business. Develop your skills a bit more first.

5. Assuming a signed contract will be honored.

I’ve made this mistake more than I care to admit. I’ve had signed contracts with supposedly reputable corporations, and they weren’t worth squat when the CEO decided he wanted out of the deal, even for completely dishonorable reasons. Sure I was in the right, but did I want to go to court to enforce it? No, I’d rather continue doing meaningful work.

A signed contract is just a piece of paper. What’s behind a signed contract is a relationship. If the relationship goes sour, the contract won’t save you. The purpose of a contract is to clearly define everyone’s roles and commitments. But it’s the relationship, not the paper, that ultimately enforces those commitments. When I understood this, I focused more on relationships and worried less about what was on paper, and my business deals went much more smoothly. Once you start falling back on the paper, the deal is already in trouble. Creative (and lucrative) business deals almost always stray from the paper contracts that represent them. One of my attorneys, who had worked on dozens of game development deals, told me that no deal he worked on ever followed the contract exactly; most weren’t even close. And these were big money deals in many cases. Business relationships are similar to other personal relationships — they twist and turn all over the place.

Written contracts are still necessary, especially when dealing with larger corporations where people come and go, but they’re secondary to relationships. Just don’t make the mistake of assuming that the contract is the deal. The contract is only the deal’s shadow. The real deal is the relationship. Keep your business relationships in good order, and you won’t have to worry so much about what’s on paper.

It’s sad but true that there are loads of scoundrels in business. Many of them hold titles like CEO, President, and CFO. There are indeed people out there who seem to care about nothing but money, and they will lie, cheat, and steal to get it. In recent years some of the more despicable ones have gotten themselves indicted (or are already behind bars). But there are plenty of others to whom the word honor has no meaning. For example, in the computer gaming industry, it isn’t unusual for large publishers to feign interest in certain games and string the developers along. They give the developer every indication that a deal is pending, but all the developer sees are delays and false verbal promises. In reality the publisher only wants to keep the game off the market to keep it from competing with one of their own titles; they hope to cause the developer to miss the next Christmas season or to run out of cash and cancel the title altogether. It happens. Business, especially the entertainment industry, is not for the timid.

6. Going against your intuition.

Intuition is just as important in business as it is in other settings. You’d be amazed at how many gigantic corporate deals are green-lighted or red-lighted because of some CEO’s gut feeling. While you might think that logic is the language of business, that’s far from reality. If you base all your business deals on hard logic and ignore your intuition, most likely you’ll be in for a world of hurt.

We humans aren’t very logical to begin with. We simply don’t have enough data to make truly logical decisions because business deals depend on human beings, and we don’t have a logical system for accurately predicting human behavior. Not being able to predict how other humans will behave is a pretty big gap in our logic. And intuition has to fill that gap. The real performance of human beings is what makes or breaks business deals. But to assume everyone will perform as expected is unrealistic in the extreme. No deal ever goes perfectly.

It’s hard to say no to a deal that seems juicy by the numbers when my gut is saying, “You’ll regret it,” but more often than not, I later see evidence my intuition was right all along. Sometimes I just get a bad read on someone, and then years later, several people I know are complaining about being ripped off by that person.

Intuition is a critical part of the decision-making process in business. Since business deals depend on relationships, you need to get a read on the other people involved in any deal you consider. If you get a bad read, walk away. If you get a good read, proceed with caution.

7. Being too formal.

I’ll say it again. Business is built on relationships. In some settings a certain degree of formality is appropriate, but in most business situations being too formal only gets in the way. Business relationships work best when there’s a decent human-to-human connection behind them.

I think it’s a mistake to be too formal even when looking to establish new business relationships. If someone mails me a letter that starts with “Dear Mr. Pavlina” and then goes on to explain a long-winded business proposal, I’ll usually just trash it, especially if it uses the word “we” a lot. Better to fire off an email with a “Hi Steve,” and just ask me very informally if I’m interested in the kind of arrangement you’re seeking. It saves time and opens the door to a real human relationship. Human beings don’t want to build relationships with faceless corporations. They only want relationships with other human beings… sometimes animals too I suppose.

Treat your business relationships like friendships (or potential friendships). Formality puts up walls, and walls don’t foster good business relationships. No one is loyal to a wall… except the one in China.

Formality is boring and tedious. People want to enjoy their work. If someone address me like a computer, I’ll respond in kind — by hitting delete. But if someone demonstrates they have a real personality and a good sense of humor, a connection is far more likely.

8. Sacrificing your personality quirks.

In the early years of running my games business, I took myself too seriously and assumed that I had to act “businesslike” … whatever that meant. Being self-employed was a weighty responsibility, and other people were counting on me. Sink or swim, right?

I started my games business in my early 20s, and people in their early 20s are invariably weird. But I assumed that as a business owner, being weird wasn’t appropriate or acceptable. So most of my business letters and emails looked like they were written by the same people who created Microsoft’s EULAs. The job title of “President” really went to my head. I learned how to function without a personality.

It took a number of years, but eventually I became comfortable just being myself, especially after my games business became profitable. Now that I’m a blogger, my personality quirks and unusual experiences are strengths. My personal oddities give this blog a unique flavor. If I were to take myself too seriously and write more formally, this blog would be very dull and would likely lose much of its audience.

It’s perfectly OK to be your own weird self and to inject your own unique spirit into your business, especially if you’re in your teens or 20s. Don’t be afraid to be more like Steve Jobs… and less like Steve Ballmer. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Ultimately you’ll enjoy your work much more if you attract the kinds of customers and partners that want to work with you for who you are — warts and all. Send the people who only want to work with androids to your corporate competitors. They deserve each other.

If other people can’t handle your weirdness, too bad for them. Focus your energy on the people who can.

9. Failing to focus on value creation.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the purpose of a business is to make money. But the real purpose of a business is to create value. While it’s possible to make money in the short run without creating much value, in the long run it’s unsustainable. Even criminal organizations have to create value for someone. When you know your business is just sucking value away from others without providing anything in return, it will erode your self-esteem, and the business won’t be much fun to run.

Why does your business exist? It exists to provide some sort of value, both for you and your customers. The better you understand what value you’re trying to provide, the better you’ll be able to focus. The basic value provided by my games business was cerebral entertainment. The basic value provided by StevePavlina.com is personal growth. Too often business owners aren’t clear on what value they’re trying to provide. They just sell stuff and hope for the best. That’s a lousy business model. The world doesn’t need more selling or more stuff. But it always needs and wants genuine value creation, and that’s where you should direct your efforts.

Presently this web site contains over 400 free articles. That’s a lot of value creation. Thousands of people visit each day to receive some of that value. Helping people grow is the business’ primary aim.

10. Failing to optimize.

Although value creation is essential to a sustainable business, it’s equally naive to assume you can simply focus on creating value, and the rest will take care of itself. You may build a business that provides good value but loses money. As a business owner, you need to find a way to deliver your value in a cost effective manner. Most likely your first attempt will be very suboptimal. You’ll waste too much time, money, and resources trying to produce and deliver your value. That’s OK though. Many businesses start out that way. Just don’t let yours stay that way.

Once you have a particular business process in place, pull it apart and re-optimize it from time to time. Look for ways to make it more efficient. Can you get it done in less time? At less cost? Can you do it less frequently? Can you outsource it? Can you dump the process altogether?

I used to process credit orders for my games business manually. I started the business in 1994, and when I’d receive an order through the mail or via my web site, I’d use some software to input and run the orders by modem. At the end of each month, I’d manually tally the sales. That worked fine when sales were low, but it became burdensome as more products were released and sales increased. Several years ago I upgraded the process such that online orders were fully automated, including instant delivery of the game download. All orders are recorded in a database, and I can view real-time reports to see how sales are doing for each product. It took some work to set this up, but it was well worth it. That one optimization saved me a lot of time and effort, and I don’t have to pay high fees for a third-party order processing service.

Don’t fall into the trap of using archaic methods for doing routine tasks that could be automated, including inventory management, billing, accounting, order processing, communications, and marketing. If you find yourself doing the same repetitive tasks month after month, make sure you put some effort into optimizing them. Not optimizing is like throwing time and money down the drain. It’s often much easier to save time and money than it is to create them.

An Internet business has abundant opportunities for optimization because it’s so easy to try new things and measure the results. In the first year after launching this site, I experimented quite a bit with Google Adsense. Many people don’t like the ad layout on this site, but it’s the most effective layout I’ve tried so far. I use it because it works. Adding the donations page was another optimization. Some people click ads, some people donate, and some do both. So even though value creation is the primary aim of the business, this is still a for-profit business and needs to generate income in order to be sustainable. If I don’t eat, I don’t write. More money means more resources for ongoing value creation. So value creation and optimization go hand-in-hand.

It takes significant effort to build a successful business, but it’s also a tremendous growth experience. I know many people who have quit their jobs to run their own businesses. Many of them didn’t do as well as they’d hoped, but I don’t know any that regretted taking the plunge. There’s simply no substitute for holding the reins of your own destiny.

How to Improve Your Financial Situation

2008-12-13T05:59:00.000-08:00

We all have big financial decisions to make during our lives. Buying a house, making pension plans and looking after our families all require a more in-depth knowledge of our financial situation than everyday living tends to provide.

Whether your job brings in $20,000 a year or $200,000 a year, it’s important to know where your money is going – both in the short term and in the long term. Everyone is different – we all have different needs and requirements, and recognising them is the first step towards a brighter financial future.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day bustle of life that you lose track of where your money is going. But when this results in not having the right financial products in place to look after both your current and future needs, you could be losing out in a big way.

But don’t panic. The first step towards creating a better financial future is to educate yourself as to what your situation is at present. Knowing where your money is going now can help you to plug any financial drains on your income, as well as funnelling more cash into those areas that are in desperate need of attention.

Financial planning needn’t be difficult. It’s simply a process of highlighting your needs and accommodating them. You can take on the first few steps on your own; after that you may well benefit from enlisting the help of a financial adviser.

Start by writing down in full your net income each month – that’s the amount you actually bring home. Make a note of any bonuses or commissions separately as these aren’t guaranteed. Next, make a list of all your current outgoings. This will include mortgage payments, insurances, pension payments and all your other regular outgoings such as gas and electricity payments. You should also make a note of any outstanding debts you have in addition to your mortgage.

This exercise will help you to understand where your money is going – not to mention how much you tend to have left at the end of the month. It will also highlight how much money you have channelled into investments for your future. A financial adviser will be able to advise you on planning for the long term as well as your immediate needs.

Many people find it difficult to plan for the future. Retirement seems to be such a long way off that it isn't worth worrying about just yet. But as with most monetary investments, the sooner you start paying into them, the better the return you will eventually get.

So, if you want to be secure and free of financial worries for your whole life, the best time to start being pro-active with your finances is now.

How to Give People Advice

2008-12-12T22:58:00.000-08:00

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. --Oscar Wilde

It is a great honor to be asked for advice, but it is also a big responsibility. Good advice can help people make sound decisions or find the right path in life, while bad advice can have disastrous consequences. Fortunately, with a little forethought you can weed out the good from the bad.

Steps

Listen to the person asking you for advice. Every situation is unique, so never assume you know all you need to know about a problem. Listen carefully to the person who wants advice, and learn as much as possible about the situation. If you need clarification, ask questions. Being an active listener will not only help you give good advice, it will also increase the chances that the person will take your advice.
Put yourself in the advisee's shoes. Try to imagine yourself in the other person's situation. If you've been in a similar situation, think about what you learned, but don't rely solely on your experiences to give advice--imagine that you are giving yourself advice for the unique circumstances that the other person is facing.
Think about the consequences of taking your advice. While you're at it, think about the consequences of not taking your advice. If there's no significant difference between the results of those two scenarios, your advice might not be bad, but it's not useful either. Ditto if the action you advise is impossible. If you can envision the path you suggest leading to a worse result than an alternative path would, your advice probably is bad.
- Take your time. When possible, think long and hard about all the possible courses of action and consider the pros and cons (or the benefits and costs) of each. This is especially important for more complex problems.
- Think about both the short term and long term consequences of your advice. Very important decisions are usually very important because of their long term effects. Think as far down the road as possible.
Empathize. Many matters require sensitivity and thoughtfulness. If you really try to put yourself in the other person's shoes (as suggested above), empathy will probably develop naturally. Even so, be very careful about how you word your advice and be sensitive to the other person's feelings and emotional state. Giving advice is more than a logical exercise. It usually involves helping a person sort through conflicting emotions as much as conflicting choices.
Brainstorm with the person. Sometimes there is no clearcut right answer to a problem. In this case, try to help the person mull over all the alternatives so that he or she can reach a conclusion together with you or on their own. Even for very simple questions, it can be beneficial to help the person develop his or her own advice, if only for the reason that he or she is more likely to take it.
Be honest. If your advised course of action has potential drawbacks, tell the person about them. If you don't really feel qualified or knowledgeable enough about something to give advice on it, be honest about this fact. Your goal should not be to blindly lead the person, but rather to help him or her make a good decision, so don't act like a salesman.
Set a good example. If you advise one thing but do the opposite, your advice will be seen as phony and hypocritical. If you do as you say, however, people will be more likely to respect your advice.
Understand that the person may not take your advice. Just because someone asks for your advice, they are not obligated to take it. Realize that the other person almost always knows more about their particular situation and desires than you do, so you can never be sure that your advice is really the best for them. Understand that people will sometimes ask advice just in order to bounce ideas off of you, and don't be surprised if a person rejects even good advice and decides to make his or her own mistake. Live with it, and let the person live with his or her decision.

Tips

Think twice before giving unsolicited or unwanted advice. If someone doesn't ask you for advice, it can be considered offensive to give advice, and you may strain your relationship with that person. What's more, unwanted advice will usually go unheeded. That said, if someone close to you is about to make a very bad mistake, you should advise them against it. If someone is considering doing something that could be imminently harmful to themselves or others, you should contact the proper authorities.
Don't give advice that you yourself would not follow. This is a very good test of the strength and feasibility of your advice.
Almost all advice is in some sense subjective. Be sure to separate facts from opinion, but feel free to give the person both.
Never be afraid to admit that you don't have any good advice about a particular situation. If you have no advice to give but still want to help the person, suggest that the person consult someone with more knowledge about the situation.

Warnings

If someone tells you something confidential don't talk about it to others unless it presents a danger to that person or to others.
Refrain from giving advice that you're not qualified to give, such as legal or medical advice (if you're not a legal or health professional). It's OK to share information that you've learned about, say, a particular disease or law, but make sure the person knows your qualifications (or lack thereof) when you give them the advice.
Be sure to consider any conflict of interest between you and the advisee. If you stand to gain by convincing someone to do something that is not in his or her best interests, you should probably not give that person advice unless you can be completely honest with him or her about your own motivations.

What Is Money?

2008-12-12T22:53:00.000-08:00

Everyone uses money. We all want it, work for it and think about it. If you don't know what money is, you are not like most humans. However, the task of defining what money is, where it comes from and what it's worth belongs to those who dedicate themselves to the discipline of economics. While the creation and growth of money seems somewhat intangible, money is the way we get the things we need and want. Here we look at the multifaceted characteristics of money.

What Is Money?
Before the development of a medium of exchange, people would barter to obtain the goods and services they needed. This is basically how it worked: two individuals each possessing a commodity the other wanted or needed would enter into an agreement to trade their goods.

This early form of barter, however, does not provide the transferability and divisibility that makes trading efficient. For instance, if you have cows but need bananas, you must find someone who not only has bananas but also the desire for meat. What if you find someone who has the need for meat but no bananas and can only offer you bunnies? To get your meat, he or she must find someone who has bananas and wants bunnies ...

The lack of transferability of bartering for goods, as you can see, is tiring, confusing and inefficient. But that is not where the problems end: even if you find someone with whom to trade meat for bananas, you may not think a bunch of them is worth a whole cow. You would then have to devise a way to divide your cow (a messy business) and determine how many bananas you are willing to take for certain parts of your cow.

To solve these problems came commodity money, which is a kind of currency based on the value of an underlying commodity. Colonialists, for example, used beaver pelts and dried corn as currency for transactions. These kinds of commodities were chosen for a number of reasons. They were widely desired and therefore valuable, but they were also durable, portable and easily stored.

Another example of commodity money is the U.S. currency before 1971, which was backed by gold. Foreign governments were able to take their U.S. currency and exchange it for gold with the U.S. Federal Reserve. If we think about this relationship between money and gold, we can gain some insight into how money gains its value: like the beaver pelts and dried corn, gold is valuable purely because people want it.

It is not necessarily useful - after all, you can't eat it, and it won't keep you warm at night, but the majority of people think it is beautiful, and they know others think it is beautiful. Gold is something you can safely believe is valuable. Before 1971, gold therefore served as a physical token of what is valuable based on people's perception.

Impressions Create Everything
The second type of money is fiat money, which does away with the need to represent a physical commodity and takes on its worth the same way gold did: by means of people's perception and faith. Fiat money was introduced because gold is a scarce resource and economies growing quickly couldn't always mine enough gold to back their money requirement. For a booming economy, the need for gold to give money value is extremely inefficient, especially when, as we already established, value is really created through people's perception.

Fiat money, then becomes the token of people's apprehension of worth - the basis for why money is created. An economy that is growing is apparently doing a good job of producing other things that are valuable to itself and to other economies. Generally, the stronger the economy, the stronger its money will be perceived (and sought after) and vice versa. But, remember, this perception, although abstract, must somehow be backed by how well the economy can produce concrete things and services that people want.

That is why simply printing new money will not create wealth for a country. Money is created by a kind of a perpetual interaction between concrete things, our intangible desire for them, and our abstract faith in what has value: money is valuable because we want it, but we want it only because it can get us a desired product or service.

How Is It Measured?
Sure, money is the $10 bill you lent to your friend the other day and don't expect back anytime soon. But exactly how much money is out there and what forms does it take? Economists and investors ask this question everyday to see whether there is inflation or deflation. To make money more discernible for measurement purposes, they have separated it into three categories:

M1 – This category of money includes all physical denominations of coins and currency, demand deposits, which are checking accounts and NOW accounts, and travelers' checks. This category of money is the narrowest of the three and can be better visualized as the money used to make payments.

M2 – With broader criteria, this category adds all the money found in M1 to all time-related deposits, savings deposits, and non-institutional money-market funds. This category represents money that can be readily transferred into cash.

M3 – The broadest class of money, M3 combines all money found in the M2 definition and adds to it all large time deposits, institutional money-market funds, short-term repurchase agreements, along with other larger liquid assets.

By adding these three categories together, we arrive at a country's money supply, or total amount of money within an economy.

How Money Is Created

Now that we've discussed why and how money, a representation of perceived value, is created in the economy, we need to touch on how the central bank (the Federal Reserve in the U.S.) can manipulate the money supply.

Among other things, a central bank has the ability to influence the level of a country's money supply . Let's look at a simplified example of how this is done. If it wants to increase the amount of money in circulation, the central bank can, of course, simply print it, but as we learned, the physical bills are only a small part of the money supply.

Another way for the central bank to increase the money supply is to buy government fixed-income securities in the market. When the central bank buys these government securities, it puts money in the hands of the public. How does a central bank such as the Federal Reserve pay for this? As strange as it sounds, they simply create the money out of thin air and transfer it to those people selling the securities! To shrink the money supply, the central bank does the opposite and sells government securities. The money with which the buyer pays the central bank is essentially taken out of circulation. Keep in mind that we are generalizing in this example to keep things simple. (For more information, see the Federal (the Fed) Reserve Tutorial.)

Conclusion
Remember, as long as people have faith in the currency, a central bank can issue more of it. But if the Fed issues too much money, the value will go down, as with anything that has a higher supply than demand. So even though technically it can create money "out of thin air," the central bank cannot simply print money as it wants.

How To Make Wealth

2008-12-12T19:02:00.001-08:00

If you wanted to get rich, how would you do it? I think your best bet would be to start or join a startup. That's been a reliable way to get rich for hundreds of years. The word "startup" dates from the 1960s, but what happens in one is very similar to the venture-backed trading voyages of the Middle Ages.

Startups usually involve technology, so much so that the phrase "high-tech startup" is almost redundant. A startup is a small company that takes on a hard technical problem.

Lots of people get rich knowing nothing more than that. You don't have to know physics to be a good pitcher. But I think it could give you an edge to understand the underlying principles. Why do startups have to be small? Will a startup inevitably stop being a startup as it grows larger? And why do they so often work on developing new technology? Why are there so many startups selling new drugs or computer software, and none selling corn oil or laundry detergent?

The Proposition

Economically, you can think of a startup as a way to compress your whole working life into a few years. Instead of working at a low intensity for forty years, you work as hard as you possibly can for four. This pays especially well in technology, where you earn a premium for working fast.

Here is a brief sketch of the economic proposition. If you're a good hacker in your mid twenties, you can get a job paying about $80,000 per year. So on average such a hacker must be able to do at least $80,000 worth of work per year for the company just to break even. You could probably work twice as many hours as a corporate employee, and if you focus you can probably get three times as much done in an hour. You should get another multiple of two, at least, by eliminating the drag of the pointy-haired middle manager who would be your boss in a big company. Then there is one more multiple: how much smarter are you than your job description expects you to be? Suppose another multiple of three. Combine all these multipliers, and I'm claiming you could be 36 times more productive than you're expected to be in a random corporate job. If a fairly good hacker is worth $80,000 a year at a big company, then a smart hacker working very hard without any corporate bullshit to slow him down should be able to do work worth about $3 million a year.

Like all back-of-the-envelope calculations, this one has a lot of wiggle room. I wouldn't try to defend the actual numbers. But I stand by the structure of the calculation. I'm not claiming the multiplier is precisely 36, but it is certainly more than 10, and probably rarely as high as 100.

If $3 million a year seems high, remember that we're talking about the limit case: the case where you not only have zero leisure time but indeed work so hard that you endanger your health.

Startups are not magic. They don't change the laws of wealth creation. They just represent a point at the far end of the curve. There is a conservation law at work here: if you want to make a million dollars, you have to endure a million dollars' worth of pain. For example, one way to make a million dollars would be to work for the Post Office your whole life, and save every penny of your salary. Imagine the stress of working for the Post Office for fifty years. In a startup you compress all this stress into three or four years. You do tend to get a certain bulk discount if you buy the economy-size pain, but you can't evade the fundamental conservation law. If starting a startup were easy, everyone would do it.

Millions, not Billions

If $3 million a year seems high to some people, it will seem low to others. Three million? How do I get to be a billionaire, like Bill Gates?

So let's get Bill Gates out of the way right now. It's not a good idea to use famous rich people as examples, because the press only write about the very richest, and these tend to be outliers. Bill Gates is a smart, determined, and hardworking man, but you need more than that to make as much money as he has. You also need to be very lucky.

There is a large random factor in the success of any company. So the guys you end up reading about in the papers are the ones who are very smart, totally dedicated, and win the lottery. Certainly Bill is smart and dedicated, but Microsoft also happens to have been the beneficiary of one of the most spectacular blunders in the history of business: the licensing deal for DOS. No doubt Bill did everything he could to steer IBM into making that blunder, and he has done an excellent job of exploiting it, but if there had been one person with a brain on IBM's side, Microsoft's future would have been very different. Microsoft at that stage had little leverage over IBM. They were effectively a component supplier. If IBM had required an exclusive license, as they should have, Microsoft would still have signed the deal. It would still have meant a lot of money for them, and IBM could easily have gotten an operating system elsewhere.

Instead IBM ended up using all its power in the market to give Microsoft control of the PC standard. From that point, all Microsoft had to do was execute. They never had to bet the company on a bold decision. All they had to do was play hardball with licensees and copy more innovative products reasonably promptly.

If IBM hadn't made this mistake, Microsoft would still have been a successful company, but it could not have grown so big so fast. Bill Gates would be rich, but he'd be somewhere near the bottom of the Forbes 400 with the other guys his age.

There are a lot of ways to get rich, and this essay is about only one of them. This essay is about how to make money by creating wealth and getting paid for it. There are plenty of other ways to get money, including chance, speculation, marriage, inheritance, theft, extortion, fraud, monopoly, graft, lobbying, counterfeiting, and prospecting. Most of the greatest fortunes have probably involved several of these.

The advantage of creating wealth, as a way to get rich, is not just that it's more legitimate (many of the other methods are now illegal) but that it's more straightforward. You just have to do something people want.

Money Is Not Wealth

If you want to create wealth, it will help to understand what it is. Wealth is not the same thing as money. Wealth is as old as human history. Far older, in fact; ants have wealth. Money is a comparatively recent invention.

Wealth is the fundamental thing. Wealth is stuff we want: food, clothes, houses, cars, gadgets, travel to interesting places, and so on. You can have wealth without having money. If you had a magic machine that could on command make you a car or cook you dinner or do your laundry, or do anything else you wanted, you wouldn't need money. Whereas if you were in the middle of Antarctica, where there is nothing to buy, it wouldn't matter how much money you had.

Wealth is what you want, not money. But if wealth is the important thing, why does everyone talk about making money? It is a kind of shorthand: money is a way of moving wealth, and in practice they are usually interchangeable. But they are not the same thing, and unless you plan to get rich by counterfeiting, talking about making money can make it harder to understand how to make money.

Money is a side effect of specialization. In a specialized society, most of the things you need, you can't make for yourself. If you want a potato or a pencil or a place to live, you have to get it from someone else.

How do you get the person who grows the potatoes to give you some? By giving him something he wants in return. But you can't get very far by trading things directly with the people who need them. If you make violins, and none of the local farmers wants one, how will you eat?

The solution societies find, as they get more specialized, is to make the trade into a two-step process. Instead of trading violins directly for potatoes, you trade violins for, say, silver, which you can then trade again for anything else you need. The intermediate stuff-- the medium of exchange-- can be anything that's rare and portable. Historically metals have been the most common, but recently we've been using a medium of exchange, called the dollar, that doesn't physically exist. It works as a medium of exchange, however, because its rarity is guaranteed by the U.S. Government.

The advantage of a medium of exchange is that it makes trade work. The disadvantage is that it tends to obscure what trade really means. People think that what a business does is make money. But money is just the intermediate stage-- just a shorthand-- for whatever people want. What most businesses really do is make wealth. They do something people want.

The Pie Fallacy

A surprising number of people retain from childhood the idea that there is a fixed amount of wealth in the world. There is, in any normal family, a fixed amount of money at any moment. But that's not the same thing.

When wealth is talked about in this context, it is often described as a pie. "You can't make the pie larger," say politicians. When you're talking about the amount of money in one family's bank account, or the amount available to a government from one year's tax revenue, this is true. If one person gets more, someone else has to get less.

I can remember believing, as a child, that if a few rich people had all the money, it left less for everyone else. Many people seem to continue to believe something like this well into adulthood. This fallacy is usually there in the background when you hear someone talking about how x percent of the population have y percent of the wealth. If you plan to start a startup, then whether you realize it or not, you're planning to disprove the Pie Fallacy.

What leads people astray here is the abstraction of money. Money is not wealth. It's just something we use to move wealth around. So although there may be, in certain specific moments (like your family, this month) a fixed amount of money available to trade with other people for things you want, there is not a fixed amount of wealth in the world. You can make more wealth. Wealth has been getting created and destroyed (but on balance, created) for all of human history.

Suppose you own a beat-up old car. Instead of sitting on your butt next summer, you could spend the time restoring your car to pristine condition. In doing so you create wealth. The world is-- and you specifically are-- one pristine old car the richer. And not just in some metaphorical way. If you sell your car, you'll get more for it.

In restoring your old car you have made yourself richer. You haven't made anyone else poorer. So there is obviously not a fixed pie. And in fact, when you look at it this way, you wonder why anyone would think there was.

Kids know, without knowing they know, that they can create wealth. If you need to give someone a present and don't have any money, you make one. But kids are so bad at making things that they consider home-made presents to be a distinct, inferior, sort of thing to store-bought ones-- a mere expression of the proverbial thought that counts. And indeed, the lumpy ashtrays we made for our parents did not have much of a resale market.

Craftsmen

The people most likely to grasp that wealth can be created are the ones who are good at making things, the craftsmen. Their hand-made objects become store-bought ones. But with the rise of industrialization there are fewer and fewer craftsmen. One of the biggest remaining groups is computer programmers.

A programmer can sit down in front of a computer and create wealth. A good piece of software is, in itself, a valuable thing. There is no manufacturing to confuse the issue. Those characters you type are a complete, finished product. If someone sat down and wrote a web browser that didn't suck (a fine idea, by the way), the world would be that much richer.

Everyone in a company works together to create wealth, in the sense of making more things people want. Many of the employees (e.g. the people in the mailroom or the personnel department) work at one remove from the actual making of stuff. Not the programmers. They literally think the product, one line at a time. And so it's clearer to programmers that wealth is something that's made, rather than being distributed, like slices of a pie, by some imaginary Daddy.

It's also obvious to programmers that there are huge variations in the rate at which wealth is created. At Viaweb we had one programmer who was a sort of monster of productivity. I remember watching what he did one long day and estimating that he had added several hundred thousand dollars to the market value of the company. A great programmer, on a roll, could create a million dollars worth of wealth in a couple weeks. A mediocre programmer over the same period will generate zero or even negative wealth (e.g. by introducing bugs).

This is why so many of the best programmers are libertarians. In our world, you sink or swim, and there are no excuses. When those far removed from the creation of wealth-- undergraduates, reporters, politicians-- hear that the richest 5% of the people have half the total wealth, they tend to think injustice! An experienced programmer would be more likely to think is that all? The top 5% of programmers probably write 99% of the good software.

Wealth can be created without being sold. Scientists, till recently at least, effectively donated the wealth they created. We are all richer for knowing about penicillin, because we're less likely to die from infections. Wealth is whatever people want, and not dying is certainly something we want. Hackers often donate their work by writing open source software that anyone can use for free. I am much the richer for the operating system FreeBSD, which I'm running on the computer I'm using now, and so is Yahoo, which runs it on all their servers.

What a Job Is

In industrialized countries, people belong to one institution or another at least until their twenties. After all those years you get used to the idea of belonging to a group of people who all get up in the morning, go to some set of buildings, and do things that they do not, ordinarily, enjoy doing. Belonging to such a group becomes part of your identity: name, age, role, institution. If you have to introduce yourself, or someone else describes you, it will be as something like, John Smith, age 10, a student at such and such elementary school, or John Smith, age 20, a student at such and such college.

When John Smith finishes school he is expected to get a job. And what getting a job seems to mean is joining another institution. Superficially it's a lot like college. You pick the companies you want to work for and apply to join them. If one likes you, you become a member of this new group. You get up in the morning and go to a new set of buildings, and do things that you do not, ordinarily, enjoy doing. There are a few differences: life is not as much fun, and you get paid, instead of paying, as you did in college. But the similarities feel greater than the differences. John Smith is now John Smith, 22, a software developer at such and such corporation.

In fact John Smith's life has changed more than he realizes. Socially, a company looks much like college, but the deeper you go into the underlying reality, the more different it gets.

What a company does, and has to do if it wants to continue to exist, is earn money. And the way most companies make money is by creating wealth. Companies can be so specialized that this similarity is concealed, but it is not only manufacturing companies that create wealth. A big component of wealth is location. Remember that magic machine that could make you cars and cook you dinner and so on? It would not be so useful if it delivered your dinner to a random location in central Asia. If wealth means what people want, companies that move things also create wealth. Ditto for many other kinds of companies that don't make anything physical. Nearly all companies exist to do something people want.

And that's what you do, as well, when you go to work for a company. But here there is another layer that tends to obscure the underlying reality. In a company, the work you do is averaged together with a lot of other people's. You may not even be aware you're doing something people want. Your contribution may be indirect. But the company as a whole must be giving people something they want, or they won't make any money. And if they are paying you x dollars a year, then on average you must be contributing at least x dollars a year worth of work, or the company will be spending more than it makes, and will go out of business.

Someone graduating from college thinks, and is told, that he needs to get a job, as if the important thing were becoming a member of an institution. A more direct way to put it would be: you need to start doing something people want. You don't need to join a company to do that. All a company is is a group of people working together to do something people want. It's doing something people want that matters, not joining the group.

For most people the best plan probably is to go to work for some existing company. But it is a good idea to understand what's happening when you do this. A job means doing something people want, averaged together with everyone else in that company.

Working Harder

That averaging gets to be a problem. I think the single biggest problem afflicting large companies is the difficulty of assigning a value to each person's work. For the most part they punt. In a big company you get paid a fairly predictable salary for working fairly hard. You're expected not to be obviously incompetent or lazy, but you're not expected to devote your whole life to your work.

It turns out, though, that there are economies of scale in how much of your life you devote to your work. In the right kind of business, someone who really devoted himself to work could generate ten or even a hundred times as much wealth as an average employee. A programmer, for example, instead of chugging along maintaining and updating an existing piece of software, could write a whole new piece of software, and with it create a new source of revenue.

Companies are not set up to reward people who want to do this. You can't go to your boss and say, I'd like to start working ten times as hard, so will you please pay me ten times as much? For one thing, the official fiction is that you are already working as hard as you can. But a more serious problem is that the company has no way of measuring the value of your work.

Salesmen are an exception. It's easy to measure how much revenue they generate, and they're usually paid a percentage of it. If a salesman wants to work harder, he can just start doing it, and he will automatically get paid proportionally more.

There is one other job besides sales where big companies can hire first-rate people: in the top management jobs. And for the same reason: their performance can be measured. The top managers are held responsible for the performance of the entire company. Because an ordinary employee's performance can't usually be measured, he is not expected to do more than put in a solid effort. Whereas top management, like salespeople, have to actually come up with the numbers. The CEO of a company that tanks cannot plead that he put in a solid effort. If the company does badly, he's done badly.

A company that could pay all its employees so straightforwardly would be enormously successful. Many employees would work harder if they could get paid for it. More importantly, such a company would attract people who wanted to work especially hard. It would crush its competitors.

Unfortunately, companies can't pay everyone like salesmen. Salesmen work alone. Most employees' work is tangled together. Suppose a company makes some kind of consumer gadget. The engineers build a reliable gadget with all kinds of new features; the industrial designers design a beautiful case for it; and then the marketing people convince everyone that it's something they've got to have. How do you know how much of the gadget's sales are due to each group's efforts? Or, for that matter, how much is due to the creators of past gadgets that gave the company a reputation for quality? There's no way to untangle all their contributions. Even if you could read the minds of the consumers, you'd find these factors were all blurred together.

If you want to go faster, it's a problem to have your work tangled together with a large number of other people's. In a large group, your performance is not separately measurable-- and the rest of the group slows you down.

Measurement and Leverage

To get rich you need to get yourself in a situation with two things, measurement and leverage. You need to be in a position where your performance can be measured, or there is no way to get paid more by doing more. And you have to have leverage, in the sense that the decisions you make have a big effect.

Measurement alone is not enough. An example of a job with measurement but not leverage is doing piecework in a sweatshop. Your performance is measured and you get paid accordingly, but you have no scope for decisions. The only decision you get to make is how fast you work, and that can probably only increase your earnings by a factor of two or three.

An example of a job with both measurement and leverage would be lead actor in a movie. Your performance can be measured in the gross of the movie. And you have leverage in the sense that your performance can make or break it.

CEOs also have both measurement and leverage. They're measured, in that the performance of the company is their performance. And they have leverage in that their decisions set the whole company moving in one direction or another.

I think everyone who gets rich by their own efforts will be found to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. Everyone I can think of does: CEOs, movie stars, hedge fund managers, professional athletes. A good hint to the presence of leverage is the possibility of failure. Upside must be balanced by downside, so if there is big potential for gain there must also be a terrifying possibility of loss. CEOs, stars, fund managers, and athletes all live with the sword hanging over their heads; the moment they start to suck, they're out. If you're in a job that feels safe, you are not going to get rich, because if there is no danger there is almost certainly no leverage.

But you don't have to become a CEO or a movie star to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. All you need to do is be part of a small group working on a hard problem.

Smallness = Measurement

If you can't measure the value of the work done by individual employees, you can get close. You can measure the value of the work done by small groups.

One level at which you can accurately measure the revenue generated by employees is at the level of the whole company. When the company is small, you are thereby fairly close to measuring the contributions of individual employees. A viable startup might only have ten employees, which puts you within a factor of ten of measuring individual effort.

Starting or joining a startup is thus as close as most people can get to saying to one's boss, I want to work ten times as hard, so please pay me ten times as much. There are two differences: you're not saying it to your boss, but directly to the customers (for whom your boss is only a proxy after all), and you're not doing it individually, but along with a small group of other ambitious people.

It will, ordinarily, be a group. Except in a few unusual kinds of work, like acting or writing books, you can't be a company of one person. And the people you work with had better be good, because it's their work that yours is going to be averaged with.

A big company is like a giant galley driven by a thousand rowers. Two things keep the speed of the galley down. One is that individual rowers don't see any result from working harder. The other is that, in a group of a thousand people, the average rower is likely to be pretty average.

If you took ten people at random out of the big galley and put them in a boat by themselves, they could probably go faster. They would have both carrot and stick to motivate them. An energetic rower would be encouraged by the thought that he could have a visible effect on the speed of the boat. And if someone was lazy, the others would be more likely to notice and complain.

But the real advantage of the ten-man boat shows when you take the ten best rowers out of the big galley and put them in a boat together. They will have all the extra motivation that comes from being in a small group. But more importantly, by selecting that small a group you can get the best rowers. Each one will be in the top 1%. It's a much better deal for them to average their work together with a small group of their peers than to average it with everyone.

That's the real point of startups. Ideally, you are getting together with a group of other people who also want to work a lot harder, and get paid a lot more, than they would in a big company. And because startups tend to get founded by self-selecting groups of ambitious people who already know one another (at least by reputation), the level of measurement is more precise than you get from smallness alone. A startup is not merely ten people, but ten people like you.

Steve Jobs once said that the success or failure of a startup depends on the first ten employees. I agree. If anything, it's more like the first five. Being small is not, in itself, what makes startups kick butt, but rather that small groups can be select. You don't want small in the sense of a village, but small in the sense of an all-star team.

The larger a group, the closer its average member will be to the average for the population as a whole. So all other things being equal, a very able person in a big company is probably getting a bad deal, because his performance is dragged down by the overall lower performance of the others. Of course, all other things often are not equal: the able person may not care about money, or may prefer the stability of a large company. But a very able person who does care about money will ordinarily do better to go off and work with a small group of peers.

Technology = Leverage

Startups offer anyone a way to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. They allow measurement because they're small, and they offer leverage because they make money by inventing new technology.

What is technology? It's technique. It's the way we all do things. And when you discover a new way to do things, its value is multiplied by all the people who use it. It is the proverbial fishing rod, rather than the fish. That's the difference between a startup and a restaurant or a barber shop. You fry eggs or cut hair one customer at a time. Whereas if you solve a technical problem that a lot of people care about, you help everyone who uses your solution. That's leverage.

If you look at history, it seems that most people who got rich by creating wealth did it by developing new technology. You just can't fry eggs or cut hair fast enough. What made the Florentines rich in 1200 was the discovery of new techniques for making the high-tech product of the time, fine woven cloth. What made the Dutch rich in 1600 was the discovery of shipbuilding and navigation techniques that enabled them to dominate the seas of the Far East.

Fortunately there is a natural fit between smallness and solving hard problems. The leading edge of technology moves fast. Technology that's valuable today could be worthless in a couple years. Small companies are more at home in this world, because they don't have layers of bureaucracy to slow them down. Also, technical advances tend to come from unorthodox approaches, and small companies are less constrained by convention.

Big companies can develop technology. They just can't do it quickly. Their size makes them slow and prevents them from rewarding employees for the extraordinary effort required. So in practice big companies only get to develop technology in fields where large capital requirements prevent startups from competing with them, like microprocessors, power plants, or passenger aircraft. And even in those fields they depend heavily on startups for components and ideas.

It's obvious that biotech or software startups exist to solve hard technical problems, but I think it will also be found to be true in businesses that don't seem to be about technology. McDonald's, for example, grew big by designing a system, the McDonald's franchise, that could then be reproduced at will all over the face of the earth. A McDonald's franchise is controlled by rules so precise that it is practically a piece of software. Write once, run everywhere. Ditto for Wal-Mart. Sam Walton got rich not by being a retailer, but by designing a new kind of store.

Use difficulty as a guide not just in selecting the overall aim of your company, but also at decision points along the way. At Viaweb one of our rules of thumb was run upstairs. Suppose you are a little, nimble guy being chased by a big, fat, bully. You open a door and find yourself in a staircase. Do you go up or down? I say up. The bully can probably run downstairs as fast as you can. Going upstairs his bulk will be more of a disadvantage. Running upstairs is hard for you but even harder for him.

What this meant in practice was that we deliberately sought hard problems. If there were two features we could add to our software, both equally valuable in proportion to their difficulty, we'd always take the harder one. Not just because it was more valuable, but because it was harder. We delighted in forcing bigger, slower competitors to follow us over difficult ground. Like guerillas, startups prefer the difficult terrain of the mountains, where the troops of the central government can't follow. I can remember times when we were just exhausted after wrestling all day with some horrible technical problem. And I'd be delighted, because something that was hard for us would be impossible for our competitors.

This is not just a good way to run a startup. It's what a startup is. Venture capitalists know about this and have a phrase for it: barriers to entry. If you go to a VC with a new idea and ask him to invest in it, one of the first things he'll ask is, how hard would this be for someone else to develop? That is, how much difficult ground have you put between yourself and potential pursuers? And you had better have a convincing explanation of why your technology would be hard to duplicate. Otherwise as soon as some big company becomes aware of it, they'll make their own, and with their brand name, capital, and distribution clout, they'll take away your market overnight. You'd be like guerillas caught in the open field by regular army forces.

One way to put up barriers to entry is through patents. But patents may not provide much protection. Competitors commonly find ways to work around a patent. And if they can't, they may simply violate it and invite you to sue them. A big company is not afraid to be sued; it's an everyday thing for them. They'll make sure that suing them is expensive and takes a long time. Ever heard of Philo Farnsworth? He invented television. The reason you've never heard of him is that his company was not the one to make money from it. The company that did was RCA, and Farnsworth's reward for his efforts was a decade of patent litigation.

Here, as so often, the best defense is a good offense. If you can develop technology that's simply too hard for competitors to duplicate, you don't need to rely on other defenses. Start by picking a hard problem, and then at every decision point, take the harder choice.

The Catch(es)

If it were simply a matter of working harder than an ordinary employee and getting paid proportionately, it would obviously be a good deal to start a startup. Up to a point it would be more fun. I don't think many people like the slow pace of big companies, the interminable meetings, the water-cooler conversations, the clueless middle managers, and so on.

Unfortunately there are a couple catches. One is that you can't choose the point on the curve that you want to inhabit. You can't decide, for example, that you'd like to work just two or three times as hard, and get paid that much more. When you're running a startup, your competitors decide how hard you work. And they pretty much all make the same decision: as hard as you possibly can.

The other catch is that the payoff is only on average proportionate to your productivity. There is, as I said before, a large random multiplier in the success of any company. So in practice the deal is not that you're 30 times as productive and get paid 30 times as much. It is that you're 30 times as productive, and get paid between zero and a thousand times as much. If the mean is 30x, the median is probably zero. Most startups tank, and not just the dogfood portals we all heard about during the Internet Bubble. It's common for a startup to be developing a genuinely good product, take slightly too long to do it, run out of money, and have to shut down.

A startup is like a mosquito. A bear can absorb a hit and a crab is armored against one, but a mosquito is designed for one thing: to score. No energy is wasted on defense. The defense of mosquitos, as a species, is that there are a lot of them, but this is little consolation to the individual mosquito.

Startups, like mosquitos, tend to be an all-or-nothing proposition. And you don't generally know which of the two you're going to get till the last minute. Viaweb came close to tanking several times. Our trajectory was like a sine wave. Fortunately we got bought at the top of the cycle, but it was damned close. While we were visiting Yahoo in California to talk about selling the company to them, we had to borrow a conference room to reassure an investor who was about to back out of a new round of funding that we needed to stay alive.

The all-or-nothing aspect of startups was not something we wanted. Viaweb's hackers were all extremely risk-averse. If there had been some way just to work super hard and get paid for it, without having a lottery mixed in, we would have been delighted. We would have much preferred a 100% chance of $1 million to a 20% chance of $10 million, even though theoretically the second is worth twice as much. Unfortunately, there is not currently any space in the business world where you can get the first deal.

The closest you can get is by selling your startup in the early stages, giving up upside (and risk) for a smaller but guaranteed payoff. We had a chance to do this, and stupidly, as we then thought, let it slip by. After that we became comically eager to sell. For the next year or so, if anyone expressed the slightest curiousity about Viaweb we would try to sell them the company. But there were no takers, so we had to keep going.

It would have been a bargain to buy us at an early stage, but companies doing acquisitions are not looking for bargains. A company big enough to acquire startups will be big enough to be fairly conservative, and within the company the people in charge of acquisitions will be among the more conservative, because they are likely to be business school types who joined the company late. They would rather overpay for a safe choice. So it is easier to sell an established startup, even at a large premium, than an early-stage one.

Get Users

I think it's a good idea to get bought, if you can. Running a business is different from growing one. It is just as well to let a big company take over once you reach cruising altitude. It's also financially wiser, because selling allows you to diversify. What would you think of a financial advisor who put all his client's assets into one volatile stock?

How do you get bought? Mostly by doing the same things you'd do if you didn't intend to sell the company. Being profitable, for example. But getting bought is also an art in its own right, and one that we spent a lot of time trying to master.

Potential buyers will always delay if they can. The hard part about getting bought is getting them to act. For most people, the most powerful motivator is not the hope of gain, but the fear of loss. For potential acquirers, the most powerful motivator is the prospect that one of their competitors will buy you. This, as we found, causes CEOs to take red-eyes. The second biggest is the worry that, if they don't buy you now, you'll continue to grow rapidly and will cost more to acquire later, or even become a competitor.

In both cases, what it all comes down to is users. You'd think that a company about to buy you would do a lot of research and decide for themselves how valuable your technology was. Not at all. What they go by is the number of users you have.

In effect, acquirers assume the customers know who has the best technology. And this is not as stupid as it sounds. Users are the only real proof that you've created wealth. Wealth is what people want, and if people aren't using your software, maybe it's not just because you're bad at marketing. Maybe it's because you haven't made what they want.

Venture capitalists have a list of danger signs to watch out for. Near the top is the company run by techno-weenies who are obsessed with solving interesting technical problems, instead of making users happy. In a startup, you're not just trying to solve problems. You're trying to solve problems that users care about.

So I think you should make users the test, just as acquirers do. Treat a startup as an optimization problem in which performance is measured by number of users. As anyone who has tried to optimize software knows, the key is measurement. When you try to guess where your program is slow, and what would make it faster, you almost always guess wrong.

Number of users may not be the perfect test, but it will be very close. It's what acquirers care about. It's what revenues depend on. It's what makes competitors unhappy. It's what impresses reporters, and potential new users. Certainly it's a better test than your a priori notions of what problems are important to solve, no matter how technically adept you are.

Among other things, treating a startup as an optimization problem will help you avoid another pitfall that VCs worry about, and rightly-- taking a long time to develop a product. Now we can recognize this as something hackers already know to avoid: premature optimization. Get a version 1.0 out there as soon as you can. Until you have some users to measure, you're optimizing based on guesses.

The ball you need to keep your eye on here is the underlying principle that wealth is what people want. If you plan to get rich by creating wealth, you have to know what people want. So few businesses really pay attention to making customers happy. How often do you walk into a store, or call a company on the phone, with a feeling of dread in the back of your mind? When you hear "your call is important to us, please stay on the line," do you think, oh good, now everything will be all right?

A restaurant can afford to serve the occasional burnt dinner. But in technology, you cook one thing and that's what everyone eats. So any difference between what people want and what you deliver is multiplied. You please or annoy customers wholesale. The closer you can get to what they want, the more wealth you generate.

Wealth and Power

Making wealth is not the only way to get rich. For most of human history it has not even been the most common. Until a few centuries ago, the main sources of wealth were mines, slaves and serfs, land, and cattle, and the only ways to acquire these rapidly were by inheritance, marriage, conquest, or confiscation. Naturally wealth had a bad reputation.

Two things changed. The first was the rule of law. For most of the world's history, if you did somehow accumulate a fortune, the ruler or his henchmen would find a way to steal it. But in medieval Europe something new happened. A new class of merchants and manufacturers began to collect in towns. Together they were able to withstand the local feudal lord. So for the first time in our history, the bullies stopped stealing the nerds' lunch money. This was naturally a great incentive, and possibly indeed the main cause of the second big change, industrialization.

A great deal has been written about the causes of the Industrial Revolution. But surely a necessary, if not sufficient, condition was that people who made fortunes be able to enjoy them in peace. One piece of evidence is what happened to countries that tried to return to the old model, like the Soviet Union, and to a lesser extent Britain under the labor governments of the 1960s and early 1970s. Take away the incentive of wealth, and technical innovation grinds to a halt.

Remember what a startup is, economically: a way of saying, I want to work faster. Instead of accumulating money slowly by being paid a regular wage for fifty years, I want to get it over with as soon as possible. So governments that forbid you to accumulate wealth are in effect decreeing that you work slowly. They're willing to let you earn $3 million over fifty years, but they're not willing to let you work so hard that you can do it in two. They are like the corporate boss that you can't go to and say, I want to work ten times as hard, so please pay me ten times a much. Except this is not a boss you can escape by starting your own company.

The problem with working slowly is not just that technical innovation happens slowly. It's that it tends not to happen at all. It's only when you're deliberately looking for hard problems, as a way to use speed to the greatest advantage, that you take on this kind of project. Developing new technology is a pain in the ass. It is, as Edison said, one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Without the incentive of wealth, no one wants to do it. Engineers will work on sexy projects like fighter planes and moon rockets for ordinary salaries, but more mundane technologies like light bulbs or semiconductors have to be developed by entrepreneurs.

Startups are not just something that happened in Silicon Valley in the last couple decades. Since it became possible to get rich by creating wealth, everyone who has done it has used essentially the same recipe: measurement and leverage, where measurement comes from working with a small group, and leverage from developing new techniques. The recipe was the same in Florence in 1200 as it is in Santa Clara today.

Understanding this may help to answer an important question: why Europe grew so powerful. Was it something about the geography of Europe? Was it that Europeans are somehow racially superior? Was it their religion? The answer (or at least the proximate cause) may be that the Europeans rode on the crest of a powerful new idea: allowing those who made a lot of money to keep it.

Once you're allowed to do that, people who want to get rich can do it by generating wealth instead of stealing it. The resulting technological growth translates not only into wealth but into military power. The theory that led to the stealth plane was developed by a Soviet mathematician. But because the Soviet Union didn't have a computer industry, it remained for them a theory; they didn't have hardware capable of executing the calculations fast enough to design an actual airplane.

In that respect the Cold War teaches the same lesson as World War II and, for that matter, most wars in recent history. Don't let a ruling class of warriors and politicians squash the entrepreneurs. The same recipe that makes individuals rich makes countries powerful. Let the nerds keep their lunch money, and you rule the world.

Notes

[1] One valuable thing you tend to get only in startups is uninterruptability. Different kinds of work have different time quanta. Someone proofreading a manuscript could probably be interrupted every fifteen minutes with little loss of productivity. But the time quantum for hacking is very long: it might take an hour just to load a problem into your head. So the cost of having someone from personnel call you about a form you forgot to fill out can be huge.

This is why hackers give you such a baleful stare as they turn from their screen to answer your question. Inside their heads a giant house of cards is tottering.

The mere possibility of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects. This is why they tend to work late at night, and why it's next to impossible to write great software in a cubicle (except late at night).

One great advantage of startups is that they don't yet have any of the people who interrupt you. There is no personnel department, and thus no form nor anyone to call you about it.

[2] Faced with the idea that people working for startups might be 20 or 30 times as productive as those working for large companies, executives at large companies will naturally wonder, how could I get the people working for me to do that? The answer is simple: pay them to.

Internally most companies are run like Communist states. If you believe in free markets, why not turn your company into one?

Hypothesis: A company will be maximally profitable when each employee is paid in proportion to the wealth they generate.

[3] Until recently even governments sometimes didn't grasp the distinction between money and wealth. Adam Smith (Wealth of Nations, v:i) mentions several that tried to preserve their "wealth" by forbidding the export of gold or silver. But having more of the medium of exchange would not make a country richer; if you have more money chasing the same amount of material wealth, the only result is higher prices.

[4] There are many senses of the word "wealth," not all of them material. I'm not trying to make a deep philosophical point here about which is the true kind. I'm writing about one specific, rather technical sense of the word "wealth." What people will give you money for. This is an interesting sort of wealth to study, because it is the kind that prevents you from starving. And what people will give you money for depends on them, not you.

When you're starting a business, it's easy to slide into thinking that customers want what you do. During the Internet Bubble I talked to a woman who, because she liked the outdoors, was starting an "outdoor portal." You know what kind of business you should start if you like the outdoors? One to recover data from crashed hard disks.

What's the connection? None at all. Which is precisely my point. If you want to create wealth (in the narrow technical sense of not starving) then you should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you like doing. That is where your idea of what's valuable is least likely to coincide with other people's.

[5] In the average car restoration you probably do make everyone else microscopically poorer, by doing a small amount of damage to the environment. While environmental costs should be taken into account, they don't make wealth a zero-sum game. For example, if you repair a machine that's broken because a part has come unscrewed, you create wealth with no environmental cost.

[6] Many people feel confused and depressed in their early twenties. Life seemed so much more fun in college. Well, of course it was. Don't be fooled by the surface similarities. You've gone from guest to servant. It's possible to have fun in this new world. Among other things, you now get to go behind the doors that say "authorized personnel only." But the change is a shock at first, and all the worse if you're not consciously aware of it.

[7] When VCs asked us how long it would take another startup to duplicate our software, we used to reply that they probably wouldn't be able to at all. I think this made us seem naive, or liars.

[8] Few technologies have one clear inventor. So as a rule, if you know the "inventor" of something (the telephone, the assembly line, the airplane, the light bulb, the transistor) it is because their company made money from it, and the company's PR people worked hard to spread the story. If you don't know who invented something (the automobile, the television, the computer, the jet engine, the laser), it's because other companies made all the money.

[9] This is a good plan for life in general. If you have two choices, choose the harder. If you're trying to decide whether to go out running or sit home and watch TV, go running. Probably the reason this trick works so well is that when you have two choices and one is harder, the only reason you're even considering the other is laziness. You know in the back of your mind what's the right thing to do, and this trick merely forces you to acknowledge it.

[10] It is probably no accident that the middle class first appeared in northern Italy and the low countries, where there were no strong central governments. These two regions were the richest of their time and became the twin centers from which Renaissance civilization radiated. If they no longer play that role, it is because other places, like the United States, have been truer to the principles they discovered.

[11] It may indeed be a sufficient condition. But if so, why didn't the Industrial Revolution happen earlier? Two possible (and not incompatible) answers: (a) It did. The Industrial Revolution was one in a series. (b) Because in medieval towns, monopolies and guild regulations initially slowed the development of new means of production.

How To Communicate Well Under Pressure

2008-12-12T18:44:00.000-08:00

People who have great communication skills can communicate well despite being under pressure. Notice the great public relations officers out there. Despite being bombarded with controversial issues, they are still able to remain graceful under such pressure. If you want to be one of these communications experts then you might want to keep in mind the following tips.

1. Learn how to bluff. One of the great skills in Poker is the bluff. You are pretending to have something that you do not. If you have a two and a seven that are off suit, you can always pretend that you have two aces. No one knows.

If you are going to be a good communicator, you have to learn how to bluff. You have to learn how to bluff that you are not nervous. Even if you are nervous or under pressure, you have to look like you are not nervous and pressured. You have to look cool and calm. The moment you break under pressure spells the end of you.

2. Breathe deeply. If you want to relieve some pressure off of you then you have to take deep breaths. Deep breathing allows your body to calm down and it allows you to be one with the universe for a moment in time.

You are going to feel instant serenity when you take deep breaths in the middle of nowhere. If you are feeling very pressured then you might want to take some deep breaths from time to time. This will certainly alleviate the pressure that you are experiencing.

3. Speak clearly. No matter how pressured you are and no matter how many people are watching you, you have no right to slur and stutter in your speech. If you are feeling pressured then you have to take the time to say your words clearly and succinctly. If you rush things and speak in a hurry then you are only going to say things that are probably incomprehensible and gibberish.

You should take the time to say your words loud and clear. If you do not take your time to do this and you rush your sentences, you are only going to make a fool out of yourself and to make matters worse, you are going to get more and more pressured.

4. Avoid mannerisms. If you have a bad habit of scratching your nose or twirling your hair then you might want to keep your hands in check. If you are pressured and you continue to manifest these mannerisms then you are simply going to make yourself look more nervous and more foolish. If you want to look poised and proper when talking to someone then you have to appear calm. Do not allow these mannerisms to take over your social life.

5. Do not space out. There is a tendency for people to completely say nothing when they are pressured. If you have the habit of spacing out then you should certainly find a way to stop it. It is not amusing and you can completely make a fool out of yourself. If you are about to space out then it would be better if you excuse yourself instead.

Do not allow pressure to get to you. If you can work well under pressure then you must be able to speak well under pressure as well. You have to be able to speak clearly despite being in the hot seat. You must be able to communicate despite being in the middle of an argument or a debate.

Your ability to manage pressure will be the lifeblood of your ability to communicate well. Your communication skills are highly dependent on the way you manage pressure so make sure that you manage it well.

Leadership styles

2008-12-12T05:40:00.000-08:00

Using the right one for your situation

From Mahatma Gandhi to Jack Welch, and Martin Luther King to Rudolph Giuliani, there are as many leadership styles as there are leaders. Fortunately, business people and psychologists have developed useful, shorthand ways of describing the main leadership styles. This can help aspiring leaders to understand and adapt their own styles, so that they can improve their own leadership.

Whether you are managing a team at work, captaining your sports team or leading a major corporation, your leadership style is crucial to your success. Consciously, or subconsciously, you will no doubt use some of the leadership styles featured, at least some of the time. By understanding these leadership styles and their impact, you can become a more flexible, better leader.

This article helps you understand 10 of the most frequently talked-about leadership styles, some good, some bad.

Understanding Leadership Styles

The leadership styles we look at here are:

Autocratic leadership.
Bureaucratic leadership.
Charismatic leadership.
Democratic leadership/participative leadership.
Laissez-faire leadership.
People-oriented leadership/relations-oriented leadership.
Servant leadership.
Task-oriented leadership.
Transactional leadership.
Transformational leadership.

Autocratic Leadership

Autocratic leadership is an extreme form of transactional leadership, where a leader exerts high levels of power over his or her employees or team members. People within the team are given few opportunities for making suggestions, even if these would be in the team's or organization’s interest.

Most people tend to resent being treated like this. Because of this, autocratic leadership usually leads to high levels of absenteeism and staff turnover. Also, the team's output does not benefit from the creativity and experience of all team members, so many of the benefits of teamwork are lost.

For some routine and unskilled jobs, however, this style can remain effective where the advantages of control outweigh the disadvantages.

Bureaucratic Leadership

Bureaucratic leaders work “by the book”, ensuring that their staff follow procedures exactly. This is a very appropriate style for work involving serious safety risks (such as working with machinery, with toxic substances or at heights) or where large sums of money are involved (such as cash-handling).

In other situations, the inflexibility and high levels of control exerted can demoralize staff, and can diminish the organizations ability to react to changing external circumstances.

Charismatic Leadership

A charismatic leadership style can appear similar to a transformational leadership style, in that the leader injects huge doses of enthusiasm into his or her team, and is very energetic in driving others forward.

However, a charismatic leader can tend to believe more in him or herself than in their team. This can create a risk that a project, or even an entire organization, might collapse if the leader were to leave: In the eyes of their followers, success is tied up with the presence of the charismatic leader. As such, charismatic leadership carries great responsibility, and needs long-term commitment from the leader.

Democratic Leadership or Participative Leadership

Although a democratic leader will make the final decision, he or she invites other members of the team to contribute to the decision-making process. This not only increases job satisfaction by involving employees or team members in what’s going on, but it also helps to develop people’s skills. Employees and team members feel in control of their own destiny, and so are motivated to work hard by more than just a financial reward.

As participation takes time, this style can lead to things happening more slowly than an autocratic approach, but often the end result is better. It can be most suitable where team working is essential, and quality is more important than speed to market or productivity.

Laissez-Faire Leadership

This French phrase means “leave it be” and is used to describe a leader who leaves his or her colleagues to get on with their work. It can be effective if the leader monitors what is being achieved and communicates this back to his or her team regularly. Most often, laissez-faire leadership works for teams in which the individuals are very experienced and skilled self-starters. Unfortunately, it can also refer to situations where managers are not exerting sufficient control.

People-Oriented Leadership or Relations-Oriented Leadership

This style of leadership is the opposite of task-oriented leadership: the leader is totally focused on organizing, supporting and developing the people in the leader’s team. A participative style, it tends to lead to good teamwork and creative collaboration. However, taken to extremes, it can lead to failure to achieve the team's goals.

In practice, most leaders use both task-oriented and people-oriented styles of leadership.

Servant Leadership

This term, coined by Robert Greenleaf in the 1970s, describes a leader who is often not formally recognized as such. When someone, at any level within an organization, leads simply by virtue of meeting the needs of his or her team, he or she is described as a “servant leader”.

In many ways, servant leadership is a form of democratic leadership, as the whole team tends to be involved in decision-making.

Supporters of the servant leadership model suggest it is an important way ahead in a world where values are increasingly important, in which servant leaders achieve power on the basis of their values and ideals. Others believe that in competitive leadership situations, people practicing servant leadership will often find themselves left behind by leaders using other leadership styles.

Task-Oriented Leadership

A highly task-oriented leader focuses only on getting the job done, and can be quite autocratic. He or she will actively define the work and the roles required, put structures in place, plan, organize and monitor. However, as task-oriented leaders spare little thought for the well-being of their teams, this approach can suffer many of the flaws of autocratic leadership, with difficulties in motivating and retaining staff. Task-oriented leaders can benefit from an understanding of the Blake-Mouton Managerial Grid, which can help them identify specific areas for development that will help them involve people more.

Transactional Leadership

This style of leadership starts with the premise that team members agree to obey their leader totally when they take a job on: the “transaction” is (usually) that the organization pays the team members, in return for their effort and compliance. As such, the leader has the right to “punish” team members if their work doesn’t meet the pre-determined standard.

Team members can do little to improve their job satisfaction under transactional leadership. The leader could give team members some control of their income/reward by using incentives that encourage even higher standards or greater productivity. Alternatively a transactional leader could practice “management by exception”, whereby, rather than rewarding better work, he or she would take corrective action if the required standards were not met.

Transactional leadership is really just a way of managing rather a true leadership style, as the focus is on short-term tasks. It has serious limitations for knowledge-based or creative work, but remains a common style in many organizations.

Transformational Leadership

A person with this leadership style is a true leader who inspires his or her team with a shared vision of the future. Transformational leaders are highly visible, and spend a lot of time communicating. They don’t necessarily lead from the front, as they tend to delegate responsibility amongst their teams. While their enthusiasm is often infectious, they can need to be supported by “detail people”.

In many organizations, both transactional and transformational leadership are needed. The transactional leaders (or managers) ensure that routine work is done reliably, while the transformational leaders look after initiatives that add value.

Using the Right Style – Situational Leadership

While the Transformation Leadership approach is often highly effective, there is no one “right” way to lead or manage that suits all situations. To choose the most effective approach for you, you must consider:

The skill levels and experience of the members of your team.

The work involved (routine or new and creative).

The organizational environment (stable or radically changing, conservative or adventurous).

You own preferred or natural style.

A good leader will find him or herself switching instinctively between styles according to the people and work they are dealing with. This is often referred to as “situational leadership”.

For example, the manager of a small factory trains new machine operatives using a bureaucratic style to ensure operatives know the procedures that achieve the right standards of product quality and workplace safety. The same manager may adopt a more participative style of leadership when working on production line improvement with his or her team of supervisors

The 3 Flirt Signals a Man Will Show a Woman He Adores Her

2008-12-12T05:33:00.000-08:00

Men display various flirt signals to show he is interested in the woman he is flirting with, but women find it hard to read and do not realise that the man is showing her flirt signals which usually means he wants to be more than just friends with the woman. Some men are confident and clearly display flirt signals towards women whereas some men have more hidden, discrete flirt signals that they hide so it becomes difficult to tell if he is flirting with you. So if you want to know if a man is showing you different types of flirt signals then read below for the three most obvious and notable flirt signals a man will show you.

1. Body language is one of the most obvious of all the flirt signals there are as it is a great giveaway. This will be when the man is clamping his hands together as he speaks to you because he is nervous and keeps his hands held together throughout the conversation. Another sign is when he also tries to lean towards you to show he is interested in you and slowly moves closer and closer as he gets ready to try and make a possible move.

2. When men speak to women they are interested in some men become so nervous that they tend to stutter. They do this unknowingly as their nerves tend to get the better of them because when they are in the company of a beautiful woman they adore it becomes difficult for the man to get his words out correctly.

3. One of the most sneaky of the flirt signals is when the man loves to be alone with the woman he is interested in and wants to be on his own with the woman to spend quality time with her. So the man will always look for private moments on your own with you and grab every opportunity he can so he can gradually become more intimate with you so you are comfortable and relaxed when he is with you.

Men have strange ways of showing a woman flirt signals so follow the steps above to note when a man is showing you flirt signals and be aware of when he is spending a lot of time with you when you are on your own, when his body language leans towards you and when he sometimes stutters when he is nervous when you are with him. All these flirt signals will show you this man adores you and wants more than just friendship with you.

Communicate Effectively in the Office

2008-12-11T16:39:00.001-08:00

Nothing frustrates workers more than unclear instructions and poor communication. In fact, in an article called “Ten Things Employees Dislike Most About Their Employers” author Jan Stringer, PhD lists poor communication as the number 1 complaint by office workers.

Putting extra thought into written communication gives employees more confidence in themselves and their managers. Avoiding some common mistakes will clarify written communication. When emails, memos, job descriptions or other office documents, avoid:

Weak Subject and verb
Passive Voice
Stacked Nouns
Unnecessary Words

All these writing mistakes are common for those who don’t write professionally. It’s amazing how simply correcting these mistakes makes a worker appear as though he or she has been a technical writer for years.

Weak Subject and Verb

Without going deep into a grammar lesson, here are a few examples of how to clarify written communication by keeping the subject and verbs strong and clear.

Bad Example:

Progress will be made by the marketing team to meet this quarter’s goals.

Solution:

The marketing team is progressing toward meeting this quarter’s goals.

This puts the main subject of the sentence as the strong subject and it provides a strong action verb for what the subject is doing.

Passive Voice: Bad Office Communication

Nothing is more tempting for many office workers than using the passive voice when writing memos or emails. The passive voice keeps things sounding vague and hopeful, leaving the writer as seeming noncommittal should things change. And it also leaves the writer seeming like a bad communicator. A strong, active voice in writing gets straight to the point, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Bad Example:

The report is turned in by marketing every Monday. The report is then reviewed by accounting, and a response email is given.

The strongest indicator of when the passive voice is being used is too many is, was, or have beens followed by a past tense verb, like performed or reviewed. This makes for sloppy writing. Instead, use present tense writing to make writing clear and easy to comprehend.

Solution:

Marketing turns in the report every Monday. Accounting reviews the reports on the same day then sends out a response email.

See how the solution flows? An active, present tense voice is imperative for successful written communication.

Stacked Nouns, Too Many Word Lead to Confusing Office Writing

Sometimes poor communication comes from an attempt to be too thorough in writing. Too many words or a noun structure leads too more confusions instead of less.

Bad Example:

The marketing group recently reviewed and purchased speaker performance enhancement (SPE) software and hardware which will be a great, positive and valuable asset to our company.

Solution:

The software purchased by the marketing group will enhance our team’s speaking performances and be an overall asset to the entire company.

Cleaning up the wording makes the message stand out clearly.

By avoiding weak verbs, passive voice and unnecessary words, anyone can make their office writing clear and concise.

The Secret to Self Loving

2008-12-11T05:36:00.000-08:00

This past year, I have come to appreciate the power of truly loving myself. Most of my life, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I found myself in numerous relationships for the wrong reasons and ended up settling in ill-fitting ‘partnerships’. This deeply rooted fear and lack of understanding of myself caused the relationships to become my whole world; my focus of attention; my center. I would sacrifice my own goals for the other person. And, when the relationship collapsed, so did my sense of self.

Through much introspection, I realized the source of these failed relationships was myself. I realized that I didn’t truly love or appreciate myself and had relied on external sources for love and approval. I decided to change. I had to overcome my fear of loneliness by finding independence and personal freedom. Even since I found true appreciation for myself, the quality of relationships I have attracted has been phenomenal. I have discovered that the more I loved and understood myself, the less I feared being by myself, and the more healthier relationships I was able to attract into my life.

I started doing what I called “Dates with myself“. Regardless my external relationship status, I would schedule time with myself. I would literally take myself out on a date and spend that time totally focused on myself. It’s my time. We spend so much time and energy focused on others that we forget to recharge the source of that energy. It is only when you are well that you can have the energy and internal resources to make a positive difference and help others. This is a simple, yet powerful concept that can dramatically improve your wellbeing, effectiveness and mental health.

Before attempting a ‘date with yourself’, Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Remove Disturbances - unplug your phone, power down the cell phone and blackberry, shut down the computer, turn off the tv. Do not let your mind get distracted during your self-date. This is your time to just be with yourself.
Being Solo - It’s important that you are on your own. You can talk to strangers, and make new friends, but you are on the self-date to get acquainted with yourself, no one else. If you live with a partner, schedule it so he/she isn’t home, or just take yourself out of the house. If you have kids, find a sitter, or plan around when your kids are not at home. It’s also important to realize that this time is a gift for yourself, and you should only be focused on your well-being.
Schedule - Plan how long you would like your dates to last. Set a minimum time, and commit to focus on yourself for at least that time. I typically schedule 2-4 hour dates with myself.
Communicate - if you are in a relationship, it’s important to communicate what you are doing and it’s benefits clearly with your partner. Not only do we get their support, but also avoid any misunderstandings or neglect.

Here are some ideas for ‘dates with yourself’. You can intermix several activities below into one date:

Reading Date - Go to a trendy café or find a comfortable place at home and read something inspirational for an hour or more. Have some hot herbal tea, cut up some fruits or crackers with cheese. Fully enjoy the experience.
Forgiveness & Gratitude Date - Find a comfortable spot. I like to sit on a bench overlooking the water at sunset, or curled up on the couch in my living room table surrounded by candles.
- Forgive - Write on a journal or loose paper all the things you forgive yourself for. We tend to be very harsh on ourselves, and voluntarily blame ourselves internally for failures, failures of achievement, failures to action, etc. Take this time to forgive yourself for all the harsh things said, for mistreatment of your health, etc.
- Gratitude - List out all the things in your life you are thankful for. This is my favorite thing to do.
- Admiration - List out all the things that others admire about you. What are some things they’d say that you are good at or have natural abilities towards? Notice that I wanted you to pretend to be another person looking at yourself. We tend to blank on this question when asking ourselves directly.
Musical Date - Take in a live concert after treating yourself to a healthy and satisfying meal. For example, every Thursday, I used to make myself a great raw vegetarian meal and then go to the Symphony. Did you know that you could get cheap single tickets in the first 4 rows? In Seattle, it’s $15 at Seattle Symphony. Most people are not aware of this. It’s not advertised.
Another idea is going to a jazz club or a show. Talk to strangers when you are there. You’ll find the experience much more rewarding.
Yoga or Meditation Date - Take a group yoga or meditation class at a local gym, community center, or temple. I used to do drop in classes at YMCA. They are $10 a class for non-members. After class, jump into the Jacuzzi if there is one. Come home, enjoy a light meal and relax for the evening.
Outdoors Date - Go for a long walk in an area that interests you. Go to a park, go camping, go for a long drive. I like to spend an hour on Sundays walking through the ‘pike place’ market (local farmer’s market) with my dog, Tommy. I enjoy seeing all the tourists, fresh produce and the energy in the market. I also like to walk along the waterfront. It’s a good idea to bring a book and some water with you. Wander without rushing.
Art & Culture - Go to an art gallery opening or a local museum. In Seattle, we have the art walk the first Thursday of every month where many galleries are open into the night. It’s very festive and inspiring, and I especially enjoy the people watching.

7 Steps to Good Relationships

2008-12-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

Improve Relationships

The joys and pains of relationships are never as pronounced as during Holiday periods. With Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching, use these seven steps as building blocks to strengthen your relationships. You'll have a more satisfying and joyous Holiday period, and so will those close to you.

Although the approaching Holidays provide an immediate incentive, there are also long term benefits to be gained. Reputable studies show a strong correlation between happiness and high quality relationships. It's therefore in our best interests to nurture and build strong relationships for this Holiday season and beyond.

From many articles and studies of the characteristics of strong relationships we can distill the following list of seven important steps or components; think of these as relationship building blocks.

Commitment
Freedom
Respect
Support
Equality
Healthy conflict resolution
Trust

Committed Relationship

Fundamental to a strong relationship is commitment. Commitment to making the relationship strong and healthy is the foundation on which it can grow. Relationships take work. They take effort. Like life itself, relationships are dynamic, ever changing because we are ever changing. A strong relationship requires continuous nurturing, and that takes commitment.

Commitment to the relationship means unconditionally caring about maintaining and improving the relationship, even during times of anger or disappointment. There may be times when you aren't even sure you like the other person, but if you're committed you'll spend the effort to sustain the relationship during tough times.

Freedom to Be Me

Freedom may be the toughest component of all to implement. But it may also be the most important after commitment. All humans desire freedom; more than desire, freedom is a drive we have to be ourselves. From the two-year old who proclaims, "I can do it myself!" to the twenty-two year old who forgoes the family business to go her own way, we all want freedom to do it our way.

While we each crave and value our own freedom, we often have just as strong a drive to control others. Call it a carryover from parenting or a way of assuring our own freedoms, controlling another person is a sure way to weaken and damage a relationship.

Granting another person the freedom to be themselves, to stretch and grow or to wither and stagnate, is the ultimate result of love--unconditional love. The freedom inherent in unconditional love may sorely test our own feelings of self confidence and self esteem, yet it's so important for us to realize that we bring people toward us when we let go of any inclination to control.

Respect Others

Respect, R-E-S-P-E-C-T as Uretha Franklin sang it, is a critical component of freedom. It's the partner of freedom in that respecting another person's competence and individuality provides the positive support so important to freedom.

A contrast makes this point: suppose someone grants you the freedom to follow your dream with an underlying current of disrespect. It might sound something like, "Go ahead if you must, I'll be right here after you've chased that dream." In other words, the person thinks you'll fail and you'll come crawling back.

The same scenario with respect might sound like, "Go ahead, I know how important this is to you and I support you 100%. I know you can do it!" Obviously, we'd all like to hear this latter response because of the inherent respect and support it conveys.

Support Those You Care About

Support is an important factor in any relationship. As we stretch ourselves, as we encounter rough spots and obstacles, a supportive relationship gives us strength and reassurance. Support rejuvenates and re-energizes. Aren't we all attracted to people who are supportive of us?

Treat Everyone as an Equal

Equality is the enabler that says we're both equal partners in this marriage, partnership, or friendship. A parent-child relationship is fine for teens and below, but among partners, friends, and adult children and their parents, without the underlying recognition of equality, respect is limited, support is more controlling than supportive, and commitment is probably more toward control than growth.

Learn Healthy Conflict Resolution

Healthy conflict resolution is a component that smoothes the rough edges of relationships. Rough edges will occur. There will be disagreements, differences of opinion, and even disappointments of behavior. A knowledge of techniques and dedication to resolve conflicts with respect, support, and equality can actually strengthen a relationship. Unstated is the recognition of "look what we've gone through together. We're strong."

Trust is a Relationship Glue

Trust is an attitude that could have been the first step mentioned. For without our inherent trust of each other, we will be unable to grant freedom, to treat each other with respect and equality, and be supportive. Some say that trust is earned. But trust must be an assumed attitude that is fundamental to commitment to the relationship. If someone distrusts you until you prove trustworthy, you cannot provide the freedom, respect, and support that nurtures and strengthens a relationship.

Obviously, the seven steps of a strong relationship do not come serially, one after the other. They are all important and must be simultaneously present. It is helpful, though, to consider them as step by step tools for building a strong relationship. And commitment does come first, as the foundation for stable and strong relationships. When we commit to something, it happens.

Real Estate Investment Strategies

2008-12-10T22:53:00.000-08:00

There are three broad categories of investment strategy that I advocate:

bargain purchase
increase value
double-digit cap rate.

Bargain purchase is the purchase of real estate for at least 20% below current market value.

In the increase-value strategy, you buy a property for its current market value, but you select only properties with some unrealized potential. Then, immediately after purchase, you make whatever changes are necessary to increase the value of the property. In general, you must increase the value by at least 20% within six months in order for the strategy to be worthwhile.

Double-digit cap rate means that you buy the building on terms that it has a capitalization rate of 10% or more. The capitalization rate is the net operating income (rent minus operating expenses but before debt service) divided by the purchase price. In other words, it is the cash-on-cash rate of return you would get if you owned the property free and clear. In the absence of a bargain purchase, double-digit cap rates are very hard to find. They generally only occur temporarily in depressed markets or in small market niches.

The most common real estate investment strategy, however, is one which I condemn: buying properties which the investor believes will soon increase in value due to market-wide appreciation. This is, in fact, pure speculation. No one knows which areas will appreciate. Many billions have been made by investors pursuing this strategy, but they were simply lucky.

Another common strategy which is advocated by most real estate gurus are various forms of finding unsophisticated sellers and using some convoluted real estate transaction to take advantage of their lack of sophistication. These strategies are unethical, immoral, and often illegal. I do not advocate them.

Holding periods

There are two broad categories of holding period:

long-term
flip

Long-term means you hold the property for years. Most investors do that. I used to advocate that. I no longer like long-term holding. It requires clairvoyance, a skill that humans do not possess.

Flipping means selling the property as soon as possible after you acquire it. In some cases, you can even sell it before you buy it or simultaneously with buying it. Some seminar gurus are big on advocating this, probably only because it sounds really spectacular to a novice. In fact, selling before you close or simultaneously, although theoretically possible and occasionally done, are quite difficult to do and may not be worth the trouble. When I talk about flipping I generally mean to sell as soon as possible after acquisition.

Your time available

Different strategies require different amounts of time or require that you be available for particular hours of the week. For example, rehab is extremely time-consuming. Anything involving the government, like buying at sheriff's sales or appearing in court, generally requires that you be available during business hours on week days. If you have a full-time job or do not want to give up all of your after-work hours for real estate, you must not choose a time-consuming investment strategy. If you work at a regular salaried or hourly job during business hours, you probably cannot pursue a strategy which requires you to do real estate stuff during business hours.

Cash available

Some strategies, like buying foreclosures, require huge amounts of cash. Others, like buying judgments secured by real estate or buying at builder auctions, require little or no cash. In general, cash makes your investment life much easier. Too often, the use of cash is dismissed as non-macho or some such. That's nonsense. But if you absolutely have no cash, you must either get some or use strategies which do not require any. The grandaddy of all real estate gurus, William Nickerson, wrote the book How I Turned $1,000 into $5,000,000 in Real Estate in My Spare Time and How to Make a Fortune Today Starting From Scratch. In those books, he talks a great deal about ways to save the money you need for a down payment. The concept of saving must seem downright quaint to graduates of today's real estate gurus' seminars and boot camps. They all preach the "something for nothing down" approach. I prefer the save-up-the-down-payment approach. The book The Millionaire Next Door says that real millionaires are big savers. Real estate gurus, most of whom are phony millionaires, either ignore saving or dismiss it as impossible.

Your aptitudes

I am not mechanically inclined. On the other hand, many people mistakenly think that I am a lawyer. Accordingly, it would not be a good idea for me to specialize in rehabs, but it might be a good idea for me to specialize in a legally oriented strategy like foreclosures. Similarly, you should take stock of your real estate related aptitudes and gravitate toward strategies that take advantage of your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.

People skills

Different strategies require different interactions with people. The amount of the interactions varies, as does the nature of them. If you hold long-term, you must be a landlord, and an employer if you buy multi-unit buildings. If you buy pre-foreclosures, you must negotiate over the kitchen table with people who are in financial difficulty. On the other hand, if you buy foreclosures, about the only people you encounter are the auctioneers and all you have to say to them is the high bid. In other words, there are places in real estate for the gregarious as well as for recluses. Just make sure you know which you are and that you select your strategy accordingly.

Ethics

Much of what the current crop of gurus teach is unethical. In general, it's difficult to do nothing-down or lease-option deals ethically. When pursuing bargain purchases, there is a strong temptation to lie to the seller about the market value of their property. Bribery is big in the business of increasing values by getting favorable zoning changes. Transactions between sophisticated and unsophisticated people create powerful temptations for the sophisticated to take unconscionable advantage of the unsophisticated. There are plenty of ways to do real estate investment ethically. Anyone can resist temptation. But real estate also has more than its share of ways to misbehave. Let's be careful out there.

50 COMMON INTERVIEW Q&A

2008-12-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

1. Tell me about yourself:
The most often asked question in interviews. You need to have a short
statement prepared in your mind. Be careful that it does not sound
rehearsed. Limit it to work-related items unless instructed otherwise.
Talk about things you have done and jobs you have held that relate to
the position you are interviewing for. Start with the item farthest
back and work up to the present.

2. Why did you leave your last job?
Stay positive regardless of the circumstances. Never refer to a major
problem with management and never speak ill of supervisors, co-workers
or the organization. If you do, you will be the one looking bad. Keep
smiling and talk about leaving for a positive reason such as an
opportunity, a chance to do something special or other forward-looking
reasons.

3. What experience do you have in this field?
Speak about specifics that relate to the position you are applying for.
If you do not have specific experience, get as close as you can.

4. Do you consider yourself successful?
You should always answer yes and briefly explain why. A good
explanation is that you have set goals, and you have met some and are
on track to achieve the others.

5. What do co-workers say about you?
Be prepared with a quote or two from co-workers. Either a specific
statement or a paraphrase will work. Jill Clark, a co-worker at Smith
Company, always said I was the hardest workers she had ever known. It
is as powerful as Jill having said it at the interview herself.

6. What do you know about this organization?
This question is one reason to do some research on the organization
before the interview. Find out where they have been and where they are
going. What are the current issues and who are the major players?

7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
Try to include improvement activities that relate to the job. A wide
variety of activities can be mentioned as positive self-improvement.
Have some good ones handy to mention.

8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Be honest but do not spend a lot of time in this area. Keep the focus
on this job and what you can do for this organization. Anything else is
a distraction.

9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
This may take some thought and certainly, should be based on the
research you have done on the organization. Sincerity is extremely
important here and will easily be sensed. Relate it to your long-term
career goals.

10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
Be aware of the policy on relatives working for the organization. This
can affect your answer even though they asked about friends not
relatives. Be careful to mention a friend only if they are well thought
of.

11. What kind of salary do you need?
A loaded question. A nasty little game that you will probably lose if
you answer first. So, do not answer it. Instead, say something like,
That’s a tough question. Can you tell me the range for this position?
In most cases, the interviewer, taken off guard, will tell you. If not,
say that it can depend on the details of the job. Then give a wide
range.

12. Are you a team player?
You are, of course, a team player. Be sure to have examples ready.
Specifics that show you often perform for the good of the team rather
than for yourself are good evidence of your team attitude. Do not brag,
just say it in a matter-of-fact tone. This is a key point.

13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?
Specifics here are not good. Something like this should work: I’d like
it to be a long time. Or As long as we both feel I’m doing a good job.

14. Have you ever had to fire anyone? How did you feel about that?
This is serious. Do not make light of it or in any way seem like you
like to fire people. At the same time, you will do it when it is the
right thing to do. When it comes to the organization versus the
individual who has created a harmful situation, you will protect the
organization. Remember firing is not the same as layoff or reduction in
force.

15. What is your philosophy towards work?
The interviewer is not looking for a long or flowery dissertation here.
Do you have strong feelings that the job gets done? Yes. That’s the
type of answer that works best here. Short and positive, showing a
benefit to the organization.

16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?
Answer yes if you would. But since you need to work, this is the type
of work you prefer. Do not say yes if you do not mean it.

17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position?
If you have not, say no. If you have, be honest, brief and avoid saying
negative things about the people or organization involved.

18. Explain how you would be an asset to this organization
You should be anxious for this question. It gives you a chance to
highlight your best points as they relate to the position being
discussed. Give a little advance thought to this relationship.

19. Why should we hire you?
Point out how your assets meet what the organization needs. Do not
mention any other candidates to make a comparison.

20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made
Have a good one ready. Be sure and use a suggestion that was accepted
and was then considered successful. One related to the type of work
applied for is a real plus.

21. What irritates you about co-workers?
This is a trap question. Think real hard but fail to come up with
anything that irritates you. A short statement that you seem to get
along with folks is great.

22. What is your greatest strength?
Numerous answers are good, just stay positive. A few good examples:
Your ability to prioritize, Your problem-solving skills, Your ability
to work under pressure, Your ability to focus on projects, Your
professional expertise, Your leadership skills, Your positive attitude

23. Tell me about your dream job.
Stay away from a specific job. You cannot win. If you say the job you
are contending for is it, you strain credibility. If you say another
job is it, you plant the suspicion that you will be dissatisfied with
this position if hired. The best is to stay genetic and say something
like: A job where I love the work, like the people, can contribute and
can’t wait to get to work.

24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?
Give several reasons and include skills, experience and interest.

25. What are you looking for in a job?
See answer # 23

26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
Do not be trivial. It would take disloyalty to the organization,
violence or lawbreaking to get you to object. Minor objections will
label you as a whiner.

27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?
Money is always important, but the work is the most important. There is
no better answer.

28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?
There are numerous good possibilities:
Loyalty, Energy, Positive attitude, Leadership, Team player, Expertise,
Initiative, Patience, Hard work, Creativity, Problem solver

29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor
Biggest trap of all. This is a test to see if you will speak ill of
your boss. If you fall for it and tell about a problem with a former
boss, you may well below the interview right there. Stay positive and
develop a poor memory about any trouble with a supervisor.

30. What has disappointed you about a job?
Don’t get trivial or negative. Safe areas are few but can include:
Not enough of a challenge. You were laid off in a reduction Company did
not win a contract, which would have given you more responsibility.

31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure.
You may say that you thrive under certain types of pressure. Give an
example that relates to the type of position applied for.

32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?
Probably this one. Do not give fuel to the suspicion that you may want
another job more than this one.

33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?
This is a personal trait that only you can say, but good examples are:
Challenge, Achievement, Recognition

34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Weekends?
This is up to you. Be totally honest.

35. How would you know you were successful on this job?
Several ways are good measures:
You set high standards for yourself and meet them. Your outcomes are a
success.Your boss tell you that you are successful

36. Would you be willing to relocate if required?
You should be clear on this with your family prior to the interview if
you think there is a chance it may come up. Do not say yes just to get
the job if the real answer is no. This can create a lot of problems
later on in your career. Be honest at this point and save yourself
future grief.

37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead ofyour own?
This is a straight loyalty and dedication question. Do not worry about
the deep ethical and philosophical implications. Just say yes.

38. Describe your management style.
Try to avoid labels. Some of the more common labels, like progressive,
salesman or consensus, can have several meanings or descriptions
depending on which management expert you listen to. The situational
style is safe, because it says you will manage according to the
situation, instead of one size fits all.

39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?
Here you have to come up with something or you strain credibility. Make
it small, well intentioned mistake with a positive lesson learned. An
example would be working too far ahead of colleagues on a project and
thus throwing coordination off.

40. Do you have any blind spots?
Trick question. If you know about blind spots, they are no longer blind
spots. Do not reveal any personal areas of concern here. Let them do
their own discovery on your bad points. Do not hand it to them.

41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for?
Be careful to mention traits that are needed and that you have.

42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position?
Regardless of your qualifications, state that you are very well
qualified for the position.

43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?
First, if you have experience that the interviewer does not know about,
bring that up: Then, point out (if true) that you are a hard working
quick learner.

44. What qualities do you look for in a boss?
Be generic and positive. Safe qualities are knowledgeable, a sense of
humor, fair, loyal to subordinates and holder of high standards. All
bosses think they have these traits.

45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute betweenothers.
Pick a specific incident. Concentrate on your problem solving technique
and not the dispute you settled.

46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?
Be honest. If you are comfortable in different roles, point that out.

47. Describe your work ethic.
Emphasize benefits to the organization. Things like, determination to
get the job done and work hard but enjoy your work are good.

48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?
Be sure that you refer to something that was beyond your control. Show
acceptance and no negative feelings.

49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job.
Talk about having fun by accomplishing something for the organization.

50. Do you have any questions for me?
Always have some questions prepared. Questions prepared where you will be an asset to the organization are good. How soon will I be able to be productive? and What type of projects will I be able to assist on? are
examples.

Top 10 Interview Tips

2008-12-10T22:44:00.000-08:00

Great interviews arise from careful groundwork. You can ace your next interview if you:

Enter into a state of relaxed concentration. This is the state from which great basketball players or Olympic skaters operate. You'll need to quiet the negative self chatter in your head through meditation or visualization prior to sitting down in the meeting. You'll focus on the present moment and will be less apt to experience lapses in concentration, nervousness, self-doubt and self-condemnation.
Act spontaneous, but be well prepared. Be your authentic self, professional yet real. Engage in true conversation with your interviewer, resting on the preparation you did prior to coming to the meeting. Conduct several trial runs with another person simulating the interview before it actually occurs. It's the same as anticipating the questions you'll be asked on a final exam.
Set goals for the interview. It is your job to leave the meeting feeling secure that the interviewer knows as much as he or she possibly can about your skills, abilities, experience and achievements. If you sense there are misconceptions, clear them up before leaving. If the interviewer doesn't get around to asking you important questions, pose them yourself (diplomatically) and answer them. Don't leave the meeting without getting your own questions answered so that you have a clear idea of what you would be getting yourself into. If possible, try to get further interviews, especially with other key players.
Know the question behind the question. Ultimately, every question boils down to, "Why should we hire you?" Be sure you answer that completely. If there is a question about your meeting deadlines, consider whether the interviewer is probing delicately about your personal life, careful not to ask you whether your family responsibilities will interfere with your work. Find away to address fears if you sense they are present.
Follow up with an effective "thank you" letter. Don't write this letter lightly. It is another opportunity to market yourself. Find some areas discussed in the meeting and expand upon them in your letter. Writing a letter after a meeting is a very minimum. Standing out among the other candidates will occur if you thoughtfully consider this follow up letter as an additional interview in which you get to do all the talking. Propose useful ideas that demonstrate your added value to the team.
Consider the interviewer's agenda. Much is on the shoulders of the interviewer. He or she has the responsibility of hiring the right candidate. Your ability to do the job will need to be justified. "Are there additional pluses here?" "Will this person fit the culture of this organization?" These as well as other questions will be heavily on the interviewer's mind. Find ways to demonstrate your qualities above and beyond just doing the job.
Expect to answer the question, "Tell me about yourself." This is a pet question of prepared and even unprepared interviewers. Everything you include should answer the question, "Why should we hire you?" Carefully prepare your answer to include examples of achievements from your work life that closely match the elements of the job before you. Obviously, you'll want to know as much about the job description as you can before you respond to the question.
Watch those nonverbal clues. Experts estimate that words express only 30% to 35% of what people actually communicate; facial expressions and body movements and actions convey the rest. Make and keep eye contact. Walk and sit with a confident air. Lean toward an interviewer to show interest and enthusiasm. Speak with a well-modulated voice that supports appropriate excitement for the opportunity before you.
Be smart about money questions. Don't fall into the trap of telling the interviewer your financial expectations. You may be asking for too little or too much money and in each case ruin your chances of being offered the job. Instead, ask what salary range the job falls in. Attempt to postpone a money discussion until you have a better understanding of the scope of responsibilities of the job.
Don't hang out your dirty laundry. Be careful not to bare your soul and tell tales that are inappropriate or beyond the scope of the interview. State your previous experience in the most positive terms. Even if you disagreed with a former employer, express your enthusiasm for earlier situations as much as you can. Whenever you speak negatively about another person or situation in which you were directly involved, you run the risk (early in the relationship) of appearing like a troubled person who may have difficulty working with others.

21 Business Skills Needed To Succeed

2008-12-10T21:11:00.000-08:00

/The greatest people in business have certain attributes in common. Several personal qualities are important, like a thirst for continuous education, personal drive and motivation, strong goals and ambition, clear vision, and always a great deal of passion.

Beyond those personal qualities though, what makes a successful business person stand out from the crowd? Here are 21 business skills you need if you want to get ahead:

Communication

1. Written - Most people in business spend a lot of time communicating in writing. While the inter-office memo and the fax are old hat, you will spend a good few hours a day fighting your inbox. Add to this reports, white papers, proposals and resumes, it's certain you will need to sharpen your word power to succeed.

2. Social Networking - We are not all social gadflys, some of us struggle to make small talk. It is a key skill to learn though, it is true what they say, sometimes it is more who you know than what!

3. Speaking - Public speaking ranks high amongst the worlds most popular fears. You must overcome it and the best way is to practice. It might feel more comfortable working from the safety of your desk but at some point you are going to have to present. Better to have some experience under your belt before being forced to perform unprepared when it really counts.

4. Sales - You might think you do not need to sell but we all sell every day. From even before your first day you will be selling, starting at your interview all the way to asking the boss for a raise. In normal life we sell, persuading your partner that you really need that new purchase, getting out of that parking ticket ... persuasion skills can come in very handy indeed.

5. Negotiation - If you can't sell perhaps you can negotiate. A lot of the skills are the same but you will find people who have been in business for a while can drive a hard bargain. If you do not have the skills you will lose out each and every time.

Planning

1. Strategic - A business that lurches from one crisis to another is not going to stay around very long. Obviously if you are in charge then you have to set the marching orders. Can you clearly see the road ahead?

2. Project - I know many people in business who see their role as the hot headed maverick that shoots from the hip and flies from the seat of their pants. Unfortunately most of them eventually crash and burn. Project management makes your life and that of your team less stressful and gets things done on time and on budget. It might not be the white knuckle ride that some enjoy but at least you will be able to clock off at a reasonable hour!

3. Financial - The top reason why businesses go out of business is bad financial planning. All the cash flows in the wrong direction. Having worked through the dotcom boom and bust I have seen first hand what too big a budget in the wrong hands can do. Someone needs a firm grip on the numbers and it had better be you otherwise someone might just take a trip to a tropical island at your expense.

4. Risk - I'm a natural worrier which though it annoys my wife, does have the advantage in business that I tend to see the potential potholes and bear traps in any plan. If you can imagine a risk you can set about to mitigate it.

5. Logistics - Money is just one resource you need. Any business has inputs and outputs. You need to have the right people in the right jobs with what they need when they need it to get their work done. Logistics might not put you on the cover of Time magazine but it could make you a hero in your office.

Productivity

1. Time management - I once had a boss who could never get to a single meeting on time. He would always turn up ten minutes late, red-faced, unprepared, looking like he had slept in a bush. He had a growing collection of speeding tickets and a bigger collection of excuses and apologies. Time management reduces stress and increases your respect.

2. Meeting management - Most of us hate meeting but they are a fact of business life. There are always the few who love them as a way to avoid real work. There are many tricks from firmly sticking to the agenda through to holding meetings standing up just before lunch. Whatever works for you if you can get meetings to be productive and under control you will get ahead.

3. Leadership - In the Dilbert universe leadership might be something you step in, but in business it really helps to be able to take the lead. Can you get people to follow you? Are you able to get people to do things they don't want to do for the good of the team?

4. Systems - If you are repeatedly re-inventing the wheel there is something seriously wrong. Effective systems bring consistency, efficiency and reduced costs. Learning how to create and implement both human and automated systems can go a long way to being more competitive.

5. Personal Productivity - What are your rhythms, when are you more sociable, detail-oriented, creative or lacking energy? Where do you excel and which areas are a struggle? Before you can lead anyone else you need to work out how to get the best out of yourself.

Creativity

1. Imagination - Many people neglect their creative side feeling that it is better to be all about the logic, but in fact some of the most successful business people are also the most imaginative.

2. Inventiveness - If you can imagine it you can create it, and if you create it then you can sell it! Look around you, think of the things you buy and use, someone had to have the idea before it was built and sold to you. You might be surprised how few mad inventors there are, more products are invented in a marketing office than a garage.

3. Problem Solving - A big part of surviving in business is about solving problems fast and effectively. An employee who is good at keeping their head in a crisis while fighting fires is a worthwhile asset to any business.

4. Brainstorming - Some people think brainstorming is all about having stupid ideas while ridiculing the contributions of everyone else while drinking coffee, eating cookies and flirting with the secretary from floor 2. Perhaps this is why brainstorms get a bad name? If you can brainstorm great ideas, fast then you will be one step ahead.

5. Making connections - Some of the best ideas have simply been about connecting two otherwise unconnected ideas together. Could you invent the next iPhone?

I am sure the sharp-eyed amongst you have noticed there are only 20 points in this list. What is number 21? Perhaps the most important skill of all; the ability to switch off! It is so easy for the stresses and strains of business life to burn people out so you must develop the ability to relax and unwind.

25 fun things to do with your girlfriend

2008-12-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

Have you and your girlfriend seen one too many movies together? It may be time to add some fun to your dates! Here are 25 ideas for fun things the two of you can do together.

Here are 25 fun ideas for things that you and your girlfriend can do together:

1. Cook together. Nothing is more romantic than making a meal together. Go to the grocery store and pick out your ingredients and then head for your kitchen. So you’re not a great cook? Make the salad while she makes the pasta. Make the sauce together. Open a bottle of wine and take your time preparing a meal to remember.

2. Get pampered. Who says pedicures are just for women? Treat your girl to a day at the spa. As a special surprise, join her for a relaxing pedicure and massage. You’ll both feel refreshed and relaxed afterwards.

3. Run a marathon together. So you’re a little out of shape? Start out by going for short jogs together and work your way up to a 5K run (3.2 miles). You’ll be ready for a marathon in no time flat.

4. Read together. Find a book that interests you both and take turns reading it aloud to each other. Have a discussion about the book when you’re done.

5. Go camping. Show your woman how to rough it by taking her on a camping trip. Explore nature while you’re out in the woods. Go for a long bike ride or a hike and look for interesting birds and butterflies. Pick wildflowers along the way.

6. Build something together. An ongoing project is a great way to keep your relationship energized. Research for plans to build a bookcase or another piece of furniture. Build it and stain it together. The piece will be a one of a kind, long lasting reminder of something you did together.

7. Take a walk down memory lane. Take your girlfriend to her hometown and do a tour of special places from her past. Drive to the home she grew up in, the schools she went to, her favorite hangouts, etc. Then, take her to your hometown and do the same.

8. Go shopping together. Most men hate shopping and women know it. But by accompanying your girl to the mall you can get a good taste of what she likes to shop for, which can come in handy when it’s gift-giving time. Utilize her fashion savvy and let her pick out an outfit for you. Treat her to a special lunch afterwards.

9. Go on a picnic. Surprise her by packing a picnic lunch of sandwiches, fruit and cheese and eat lunch on a blanket in the park. Afterwards, fly a kite together.

10. Go to the zoo. You don’t need to have a little kid with you to have an excuse to go to the zoo. Take your girlfriend and enjoy all the unique and exotic animals. If you haven’t been to the zoo in a while, you may have forgotten how much fun it can be.

11. Work out together. Join a gym together and run on the treadmill, use the exercise machines and lift weights. You’ll both get fit and you’ll be motivated to go if you do it together.

12. Go caroling. Sound corny, but it’s fun. If it’s holiday time, shock your girl by suggesting that you go to a retirement home to sing to the elderly residents. Even if she snickers at the suggestion, she’ll be secretly impressed by your kindness. But if she says yes, you’d better be ready to sing!

13. Go to an apple orchard. Pick a bushel of apples and make homemade apple pie together. If neither of you are great bakers, learn together.

14. Get spiritual. If you and your girl practice different religions, try visiting each other’s church once in a while. It’s important to share in something so important, especially if marriage is in your future. If neither of you are religious, try to find a place of worship to visit together. You may be touched in a way you didn’t expect.

15. Change your oil and knit a scarf. The two of you can teach each other things-- so share your knowledge! Next time her car is due for an oil change, do it together in your driveway. Then, sit down with her and learn how to knit, sew, cook or whatever else her specialty may be.

16. Go bowling, roller skating, ice skating or play a round of miniature golf. Better yet, if you’re an avid golfer, take her to the driving range and hit a bucket of balls. You may soon find that you have a new golfing buddy.

17. Play tennis. Brush up on your skills and hit the courts-- this is a game you can enjoy together on an ongoing basis. If tennis isn’t your thing, try ping pong.

18. Take an adult education class together. Many local schools offer adult evening classes. You can take a cooking class or learn about wine tasting, art or computers.

19. Go to garage sales. Get up early on a Saturday morning and take your girl on a whirlwind ride to all the area garage sales. Or, scour all of the local antique shops for unique finds.

20. Get your fortune told. Even if you both scoff at the thought of psychics, go to one together just for fun. It will be interesting to see what the psychic predicts for your future together.

21. Go on a hot air balloon ride. Have you ever seen one of those beautiful balloons in the sky and wished it were you? Consult a local balloon riding company and book a romantic early morning ride for you and your sweetie.

22. Play paintball. Get your adrenaline rushing by challenging your girl to a game of paintball tag. Check the yellow pages for a paintball facility near you.

23. Go boating, skiing, or horseback riding. Rent a boat and sail along the river. Or trek to the nearest mountain and hit the slopes. Even if you’ve never set foot on a horse, try taking a lesson together.

24. Enjoy the local culture. Go to museums, galleries and local historical sites. Learn about your neighborhood together.

25. Finally, go to a professional photo studio and have your portrait taken together. It will be a lifetime memory of your happy relationship and it may come in handy some day in the future-- when you need a photo for the newspaper engagement announcement!

How do You Know When a Man is in Love

2008-12-09T22:41:00.000-08:00

When he starts picking you over his friends. He will spend a quiet Friday night with you instead of playing poker or going for a drink only with his friends.

When he seems to be overjoyed when he meets her and when he spends time with you.

When he gradually welcomes her feminine stuff in his house; her special soap in the bathroom, her earrings on the table and her tampons in the bathroom.

He makes long term plan about sharing his activities with her. He will make sure that his girlfriend can participate in his social activities.

When he never really thought about getting married or having children and he wants those things with her

He will take care of himself financially, physically and spiritually to make her feel secure and happy.

He will wake up before her and makes sure that she is okay, wonders if she is hungry, checks to see if she is warm enough or if she would need anything else.

He constantly tries to impress her; he will pick her up and brings her home, brings her food, offers to pay for some activities, gives her surprises…

Other temptations are not a threat. He is just not interested in any of those distractions

She will have no doubt in her mind. She won’t need to ask. She will feel it in her guts. If she doesn’t, and still remains with him, she is settling for less

How to Improve Your Everyday Communication Skills

2008-12-09T22:35:00.000-08:00

Do you have a hard time speaking with people? Do you feel as though you can improve your intercommunication skills? There are a few simple steps that can be taken in order to improve your everyday communication skills.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step1

Be honest. Lies can lead you in directions that you don't want. Keep it simple and truthful. The truth can hurt, but that is why you must learn how to be tactful.

Step2

Listen attentively. Do you hate it when you have to repeat yourself because someone isn't listening? Well, so do most people. It's one thing to not hear someone, but it's an entirely different things to not be listening. When someone is talking, try to minimize distractions.

Step3

Don't interrupt. You'll get your turn to speak, all you have to do is wait.

Step4

Be knowledgeable when speaking. If you really don't know something or you aren't sure, don't make the things you say seem like fact. It's acceptable to not know something.

Step5

Don't beat around the bush. Sometimes this can be confusing and long-winded. Most people appreciate it when you just get to the point.

Step6

Practice your conversation skills. Talk to the people around you whenever possible.

Step7

Use accurate language. Just say what you mean. Sometimes, euphemisms can confuse the listener. Only use jargon where people will understand. Also, keep in mind the age group of the listener. Young children will not understand an adult's advanced vocabulary.

Step8

Maintain appropriate eye contact. Too much eye contact can make a person uncomfortable. Too little eye contact will appear as though you are avoiding the listeners.

The Qualities of a Good Leader

2008-12-09T22:30:00.001-08:00

To be a good leader means that you can inspire others to follow your example, willingly and cheerfully. A good leader will both inspire confidence and give a strong example of what we should aim for. These are the characteristics of a good leader.

1. Lead by example. If you wish your workforce to be hard working and diligent, it is important that you live up to your own ideals. There is a saying “I would never ask anybody to do something I wouldn’t do myself”. If your workforce see you arriving late and being unprofessional, it will make it much more difficult for them to follow your advice.

2. Humility. To lead we need to encourage others to act in a certain way. However, if we try to lead through our inflated ego people will not respect us. Rather than stressing your self, try to lead through stressing certain principles. People will be much more willing to follow a leader who embodies humility.

3. Appreciate your Co Workers. To be a good leader, you cannot underestimate the importance of offering gratitude to those who are trying hard to do the right thing. If people get appreciation then it will definitely encourage them to continue doing the right thing. At the same time, our appreciation should be sincere. We should not flatter but look for something good a person has done.

4. Have a Clear vision. Often to lead you will need to overcome the resistance to change. If people have been doing something for a long time then they have an instinctive aversion to implementing new ideas. To introduce a new way of doing things you have to have the confidence and belief in the new way. People will definitely pick up on the belief that you have in your own vision.

5. Avoid arguments. If people criticize your approach, often the best thing to do is not get involved in arguments. You can listen to their criticism politely and thank them for their concern, but often the best approach is just to focus on the new approach; look forward and don’t feel the need to defend yourself. This gives your vision certain nobility.

6. Listen to others. A good leader should try to feel part of his team rather than superior, if you listen to others, they will definitely appreciate it. Often you may find that your workers have good ideas that you can incorporate. Even if they have unworkable ideas, it is still worth giving the impression you value their opinions, even if they are not used.

7. Create a positive atmosphere. If you try to lead through creating a climate of fear, or competition, you will undoubtedly create problems. If you can lead whilst maintaining a positive attitude, it will definitely bear fruits in the long run.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously. There is no harm in admitting you can be wrong, or making a joke at your own expense. People will appreciate a leader who can admit a mistake; it is after all a human quality. But, just don’t make a habit of it.

How to Get Rich

2008-12-09T22:26:00.000-08:00

It seems that everyone wants to get rich. There are books out on that subject, classes that are headed by someone who can show you an easy way to get rich, rich people willing to drop advice on how to get rich, and many other schemes that guarantee you will get rich fast. Getting rich is one of the main goals of most people, and while it is never easy, there are some sensible techniques that will increase your chances of getting rich.

Steps

Define "rich". It's one of those subjective words that everyone uses but no one defines. What are your standards for being rich? In other words, what do you envision when you think about being rich? This can be different for everyone. Usually it whittles down to a few common goals:
- Prestige. For many people, the idea of getting rich is tied to getting respect. It's not so much about how much money you have, but about maintaining a luxurious standard of living--exotic vacations, nice cars, swimming pools, etc.
- Retirement. Some people want to get rich so that they never have to work another day in their lives. In this case, the standard of life one wishes to maintain once retired is critical to understanding how much money is needed to get rich.
Keep your eyes and ears open. All the time interesting people and chances appear and disappear. Get a feeling when to step forward and when to wait. Attend free online lotteries, it might sound cheap but as long as you do not pay something you can attend short and longterm free lotteries and you got nothing to loose. There are several lotteries available (http://www.dmoz.org)
In October 08 http://www.linktofortune.com opened it's doors, also a hot candidate to try as long as tickets are available.
Delay gratification. If you're looking for information on how to get rich, then you're probably not rich right now, and there's a reason for that. Are you spending money on things that won't get you rich? Are you sticking with a job that doesn't make that much money to begin with? In order to get rich, you're going to have to give up some of the things you enjoy doing now, so that you can enjoy those things without restriction later. For example, you might like having free time, so you give yourself a few hours a day to do nothing. But if you were to invest those few hours into getting rich, you could work towards having 20 years of free time (24 hours a day!) with early retirement. What can you give up now in exchange for being rich later?
- Cut expenses
- Get a job that pays more or get a promotion
- Downgrade or give up your car
- Downgrade your apartment or house
- Reallocate your spare time
Save money. You've heard the phrase "It takes money to make money." So start socking away the extra money you're making now that you've delayed gratification as outlined previously. After all, what's the point in giving up the stuff you like if you have a hole in your pocket? Start building a "get rich fund" at the bank. Always pay yourself first. This means before you go and blow your pay check on a new pair of shoes or a golf club you don't need, put money aside in to an account that you don't touch. Do this every time you get paid and watch your account grow.
Invest. Once you've stockpiled your savings, start thinking of ways to invest it. This is where your definition of "rich" really comes in handy. If you're looking for prestige, for example, a good investment would be education. Save up enough money to attend an Ivy League school and obtain a degree in something that will make decent money but, more importantly, earn great respect (doctor, lawyer, dentist, any kind of professional). If your goal is to retire early, on the other hand, invest that money in stocks, bonds, or other vehicles of investment that will give you an annual return on investment (ROI) that's enough to maintain you in your retirement. For instance, if you have one million dollars invested and you get a reliable 7% ROI, that's $70,000 per year!
Stay rich. It's hard to get rich, but it's even harder to stay rich. Your wealth is always going to be affected by the market, and the market has its ups and downs. If you get too comfortable when times are good, you'll quickly drop back to square one when the market hits a slump. If you get a promotion or a raise, or if your ROI goes up a percentage point, don't spend the extra--save it for when business is slow and your ROI goes down two percentage points.

Tips

Surround yourself with self-made millionaires. Learn from them. It's been said that "like attracts like".

Warning

Get rich quick schemes are invariably scams. Avoid them. There is no such thing as free money unless you inherit it. Then you must handle it wisely, or you will lose that as well.

Top 7 Steps To Develop Leadership Skills

2008-12-09T22:09:00.000-08:00

Are leaders born or made?

Well, leaders are born, but only in la la land!!! You can be born with the traits of a leader but the right encouragement is a must for developing leadership skills.

While developing leadership skills at an early stage has its advantages, it’s never too late to start if you haven’t yet discovered the leader in you! And that’s not a whole load of motivational hogwash.

In this piece, let’s take a look at the why and how of developing leadership skills.

Successful management requires more than just assigning tasks to the team. It calls for a leader who can inspire team members to achieve their full potential. People want to be guided by a person they respect, someone who has a clear sense of direction. To be that person, there are certain things that you must BE, KNOW and DO. And that’s what developing leadership skills is all about.

Robert K. Greenleaf
”The only test of leadership is that somebody follows.”

If you want to set an example for others to follow, may I suggest the following check-list?

Test the waters: find out what people think about your style of management. This could be a real eye opener, and the key to making changes to your leadership style. Employ a 360 degree approach wherein you receive feedback from your team members and peers. Let your team in on the objective behind the survey. A relaxed and open environment will help draw out their honest opinion.
Listen hard: when your team members speak to you about all their work related worries, hear them out. You could convey empathy, suggest alternatives and create harmony within the team. GREAT LEADERS ARE GREAT LISTENERS!!!!!
Connect: take complete responsibility for how you are heard. Always rephrase your message to make it sound positive. Effective communication is a fine art.
Be a people’s person: an integral part of developing leadership skills is to learn to respect your team’s capabilities. Let the team members take decisions on certain issues. Trust them with their work; don’t be a watchdog.
Lead by example: your team must believe in your integrity, and that you really mean what you say. Be prepared to put your money where your mouth is. It works like a charm!
Share leadership: distribute tasks among group members depending on the situation and individual strengths. You become a better leader by involving more people in the leadership process.
Evaluate your success in tandem with that of the team: your prime responsibility is to ensure success and development of the team. Focus on building their skills as this will enhance motivation and team performance. Remember, their success is yours too!

How to Start a Business As a Teenager

2008-12-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

Starting a small business is an immense undertaking that requires courage, determination, invention, and motivation. Many teenagers have great ideas and motivation, but simply don't know where to begin when they wish to start a business. The following steps provide a starting guide for teenagers interested in starting a small business.

Steps

Earn a substantial amount of money to start out with. Get a job and put your earnings in a savings account. This will not only help you earn money, but you will learn the meaning of hard work, and you will know what it is like to work under someone else. If you inherit any money, put this toward the business.
Pick what your product or service will be. Choose something that interests you, something you can be enthusiastic about. When you are interested in it, your customers will be interested in it. Try to find a niche in the market - an unexplored aspect of your chosen area of business. Try to somehow set your product(s) apart from the competition by offering something rival businesses don't. A good example of this is a dyson vacuum cleaner - the patented cyclone suction system is still after 20 or 30 years the best way to vacuum your carpet and people are willing to pay the extra money to get the best performance.
Determine your target audience. Observe your competition and examine their target audiences. Adjust their audience and make it yours. Conduct surveys and ask people what they think about your business concept. Don't be afraid to let your concept evolve; there are some changes that can make your idea better and more profitable.
Write up a business plan. Ask someone to help you with this; a mentor, teacher, or parent would be happy to help you. Also, for some inspiration, go to local businesses with products or services similar to yours and ask to speak with the owner. Ask them what inspired them to start their business, and what they enjoy about what they do. This can serve as an inspiration for your mission statement.
Have the tools and supplies needed to start your business. With your own funds and possibly loans from other sources (again, parents and mentors are good people to ask for a loan. Make sure you draw up a formal proposal to show them that you mean business). With the money you have you can purchase the basic supplies that are needed to get your business off the ground.
Execute your business plan. Ask friends if they would like to help, or if they would like to work for you. Build your business from the ground up, and never be afraid to ask for help.

Tips

Create a webpage. This will help when you are trying to get recognized by your peers as an independent business owner. Make your website as professional and formal as possible (try using a web design package {eg. Microsoft Frontpage}). this will make your customers and your competition take you more seriously. You can use your website as a source of income by hosting banner ads from larger companies, this is a great way to raise extra capital. If you can't download anything, then try .
Don't let people work under you until your feet are planted firmly on the ground.
Here's one idea: buy chewing gum for cheap at your local store, then sell at a slightly higher price to friends/others at school. You can usually pick up a pack for around $1, and resell each piece for around $.25, resulting in a large profit. The same can be done with soft drinks. A 12 pack of cans runs about $3-$5, and can be resold for $.50-.75 a piece. (Warning! When doing this, make sure it's not ILLEGAL to re-distribute without permission. Federal laws protect many items, & can carry a big punishment.)