Success—It’s All in the Mind

Here are three laws that can help put you on the road to career and life success.

Successful people, no matter what their forte in life, always have a positive mental attitude. I have never known a successful person to be a negative person, and I’ve never known a negative person to be highly successful. In my opinion, the foundation of any achievement or success is developing a positive mental attitude.

Just to reinforce what I’m saying, here are some statistics I got from a magazine a number years ago: A Harvard University survey among executive recruiters revealed that 90 percent of everything a person achieved after leaving the university, such as money, prestige, power, authority and overall success, was based on attitude and only 10 percent on aptitude or ability. They also found there was no correlation between school results and lifetime earnings. The only characteristic that determined a person’s results or how far he could go was a positive attitude.

You don’t learn it in school
Imagine that next week you’re going to start a new business, and you’ll devote all day Monday to interviewing prospective employees for your open position. I guarantee the characteristics you’ll be looking for in these people are things such as a positive attitude, enthusiasm, a good personality and pride in performance. The amazing thing is that there was nothing there that you had to be born with or you learned in school!

This is probably one of the most encouraging things you can learn. So many people hold themselves back because of something that happened in their very impressionable years. Every day they remind themselves of all the mistakes they’ve made, which lowers their confidence and self-esteem. Everyone has done things that they wish they hadn't; it’s only normal. If you are holding yourself back with negative self-talk, please get rid of it. It’s very important to let go of the past.

Another important point to remember is that it’s normal to change between a positive and negative mind-set throughout the day. If you hear some very positive comments about yourself, you jump over into the positive mind-set for a while. If you hear some criticism or some negative talk or someone reprimands you, you go over to the negative frame of mind for a while. Everybody does that. But the people who succeed—the achievers in life—spend a lot more time in a constructive or positive mind-set than they do in a negative one.

Understanding the three laws
There are three powerful laws at work that have a great deal of control over your life and are “happening” all the time without you realizing it. These laws can help you better understand how your mind-set influences your success.

Law #1 is the law of expectations: What you expect to happen usually does. If you are in a positive frame of mind, you expect favorable outcomes; if you are negative, you expect the reverse to happen. If you are positive, you expect to win the race; you expect to win the game; you expect to make that sale. If you are negative, you expect to lose and not be successful.

Law #2 is the law of attraction: How you attract things depends on your attitude. It has been said that the human being is like a living magnet. If you are positive, you attract good things: better relationships, better health, more money, more happiness, etc. You look and feel better if you are in a positive frame of mind. If you are negative, you attract the reverse: illness, loss of money and poor relationships.

Law # 3 is the law of vibrations. Everything is vibrating all the time. The windows in your office are vibrating, so is your chair and desk--everything is vibrating all the time. That’s why sometimes when you go to a function, you do not feel like being there. You feel uncomfortable because you are picking up negative vibrations. Other times you go to a function or a party and have a fantastic time. That’s because you are picking up the positive vibrations. You have an obligation to your colleagues and yourself to always contribute to creating good, positive vibrations wherever you are.

Using these three laws to your advantage can help you achieve great success in your career. Remember: If you are positive, it’s amazing how good things will happen to you, including success.

The Art of Positive Thinking

If you want to live longer, be happy, healthy and successful, all you have to do is tell yourself that you can do it by tapping the healing forces within

There is no greater joy than a healthy, positive life. You feel exhilarated, energetic, happy and on top of the world. A sense of total well being permeates your mind. The future looks bright. You feel good to be alive.

Great, but how do we get out of our innumerable worries, tensions and fears that the increasingly competitive life burdens us with? Simple! Tell yourself that you are good, healthy and capable. That is the power of positive affirmations.

Such affirmations are also called self-suggestions. It is a powerful tool for transforming your inner self into an amazing health generating, self-healing entity. You can record these affirmations on a tape synchronized with pleasant instrumental music and replay them often to make them more effective and permanent.

Psychology says that our mind controls our body. So, taking charge of your mind becomes a vital factor in keeping your body healthy. You can do this through affirmations that establish the power of your mind. Try: "With the power of positive thinking I now take charge of my body to maintain perfect health, strength and happiness unconditionally, now and always, so be it." When you repeat this, the misleading programs of your mind will be erased.

It is said that we are never given a wish without the power to fulfill it. Each person is capable of programming his own mind to achieve what he desires. You can tap this capability by following a few simple steps. But before you begin, make yourself totally relaxed and be consciously willing to adopt the method.

Attuning yourself with nature guarantees an overall healthy life. To modify this statement into an affirmation, say: "I attune myself with nature to stay healthy now and forever."

You can have the right kind of food by affirming: "I can attract healthy food to keep myself fit, healthy and strong, everyday."

You can develop the habit of exercising your body and mind by affirming: "I can easily get up early in the morning everyday to exercise and keep fit and cheerful."

In case you are an insomniac, all you have to do is repeat: "I can relax into sound sleep now and wake up revitalized, alert, bright and cheerful early in the morning. It is done. So be it."

Sometimes, social influences play their part in either inducing or encouraging negative thinking. This is the stage where most doctors give up the case as incurable. So, to find the right doctor, suggest mentally to yourself: "I will locate the right doctor who can cure me completely in a simple, easy and positive way, now and always."

Your health problems can be dissolved by affirming: "I can now dissolve all my health problems, worries and fears easily, quickly and successfully in simple, easy and positive ways. So be it."

Unlike sleeping, magnetic relaxation requires you to be physically at rest but subconsciously alert. When your conscious mind is relaxed, the positive suggestions seep into your subconscious. To achieve maximum benefit from relaxation:
  • Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on a bed.
  • Let go of all the tension by repeating to yourself: "I can now relax comfortably. I can now relax my body. I can now relax my mind. Easily, quickly and positively. Now I can enjoy the state of alert relaxation peacefully."
  • Let a feeling of soothing comfort take over.
  • Let go of yourself totally. Feel a universal healing energy surrounding you and getting absorbed into your body and mind.
  • Feel a cool breeze around your body. Visualize a white sparkling light pouring through your head down your body and seeping deep within you.
  • Think that soothing and healing forces are vibrating within and radiating from you.
  • Maintain a positive and peaceful state of mind during the session. Also, take precautions that you are not disturbed.
  • Mentally repeat to yourself: "Day by day in every way I'm getting better and better and better."
This is a general formula that will heal you of all sickness. Emile Coue, a French doctor, recommended it for physical, mental and emotional well-being. It can be mentally repeated as many times as possible.


The subconscious has the knowledge, power, wisdom and understanding to heal and maintain perfect health. It is the interference of negative suggestions that causes ill health and weakness. So, whenever you feel that something is not right, use affirmations to get back on the right track. Here is a simple one that can be absorbed into your subconscious to keep your body fit: "Attuned with universal healing powers and the source of life, all my body organs are now becoming normal and fit, and they will function perfectly to maintain excellent health, strength and vitality up to a great age."

The subconscious mind is perfectly programmed with a survival package in the form of universal instincts that can be synchronized with conscious programs to live in harmony. Accepting your subconscious instincts relieves you of half of your health problems.

The subconscious is always receptive to suggestions that transpire from your conscious mind. So keep your conscious mind filled with creative, positive, pleasant, peaceful and productive thoughts. When you repeat an affirmation in a relaxed state of mind, it works wonders. To retain these suggestions, repeat them often, till you feel confident that they have become a permanent habit.

The subconscious mind is an all-powerful, omnipresent and omniscient gift. Peace will prevail in your life when these conditions are maintained. So, affirm often: "I most willingly accept healthy, happy and self-healing success programs of my subconscious mind consciously for total fitness, now and always."

It is easy to program your subconscious to integrate your inner healing power into a self-healing force. All that you aspire for will come to pass. New friends, new relationships, new ideas, new thoughts and new plans can motivate you to become a powerful optimist. So affirm: "Today I am a new, dynamic, and optimistic futurist flooded with positive thoughts of successful self-healing."

Magnetic energy plays a vital role in self-healing. The more energy you generate through eating, breathing and exercising, the longer you will live with health and happiness. It is said that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes out of his mouth. When we speak to ourselves in positive terms, we tend towards self-healing. We can build up positive statements like:

  • I am healing myself positively.
  • Positive energy is keeping me healthy.
  • Healing myself and others is easy for me.
  • I have the positive habit of deep breathing.
  • Today I am feeling better than ever before.
  • Tomorrow I am going to be perfectly all right.
Age is an attitude of the mind. When you think youthful, you feel youthful. Energy can also be enhanced by being active, alert and awake most of the time.

In my experimentation with autosuggestion, I feel that new frontiers can be explored in the process of evolution. Some of them are:
  • Assert firmly to reverse aging. Take it as a challenge.
  • Use the countdown method to feel young and energetic after 50. Subtract the number of years that you are over 50 from 50 and affirm that age constantly. For example, if you are 55, all that you have to do is to count downwards the years of your age by subtracting five from 50 and imagine that you are 45. Now build up positive magnetic statement like: "Today I am 45 years young."

The second phase is to regain the natural color and abundance of youthful hair on your head. But consistent practice coupled with firm determination is required on your part. You can begin the practice right now by affirming: "I am determined to regain all the hair on my head with its natural youthful color as soon as possible." Mentally repeat it 21 times just before you go to sleep at night.
The magnetic self-healing schedule that follows is an invincible method that can take you to the height of perfect health, strength and happiness. After practicing it for a period of seven days you will find that all your past health problems automatically disappear. The watchword here is consistency. All that you have to do is read the affirmations as soon as you get up in the morning and before going to sleep. It has cured me. It can do the same for you. Now read the following:
  • I'm relaxed, my body is relaxed.
  • My mind is relaxed, my emotions are relaxed.
  • I am now totally relaxed.
  • I am getting better, stronger and happier forever.

Now make yourself comfortable. Read the affirmation given below focusing your eyes in a half-closed manner as if you are reading it half asleep.

Hold your breath comfortably and read each statement twice. Relax after reading it. Don't hurry. Don't worry. You will see the difference from the very first day. After you practice the magnetic affirmations for seven days, let go of it. You can always come back to the seven-day program whenever you feel the need. You can mentally repeat each affirmation for the whole day but remember to hold your breath while doing so. Now repeat:

  • My body and mind are clean and energetic. I love my body.
  • Today I am becoming strong, powerful, dynamic, happy-go-lucky and attractive.
  • Today I can choose to take total interest in regaining perfect health successfully.
  • Today I assert, affirm and relax with total freedom to heal myself with the power of thought.
  • Today I am on the way to recovery easily, quickly and successfully to become healthy, happy and free.
  • Today I have regained normalcy with the power of positive thought successfully.
  • Today health and energy are vibrating and radiating from me.
Do it for seven days at a stretch and discover the new, optimistic you who can take anything in his stride. It only takes a little belief and a little determination to change your life.


Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking—that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are five simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life


Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.

You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.

Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.

Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?

Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?

Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.

Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.

Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.
Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.

The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.

A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.

External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.

Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.

Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.

The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one."

Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.

8 Destructive thinking patterns and how to change them

It can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life?
8 limiting patterns of thinking

  1. ‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern –Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
  2. ‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern– You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
  3. ‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern – This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
  4. ‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern – Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
  5. ‘Should, would, could’ Thinking pattern – This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
  6. ‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern – Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
  7. ‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern – You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
  8. ‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”

These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Never to me’ and ‘The negative psychic’ thinking patterns about everything, “She’ll never go out with me she thinks I’m an idiot.” I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.

How to change the destructive thinking patterns

The first stage of changing is to recognise the problem - You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing. If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognise what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different, therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world. I’ll give you an example:

In 2004 I took a redundancy package from my place of employment and received about $10,000 for my troubles, not a lot at all when I was earning $25,000 a year when I left. I was speaking to my friend about it and he thought I was absolutely nuts to do it, especially since I was married with two children. I explained to him how free I felt and what plans I had to start an online book dealing business and my wife was right behind me. He still thought I was crazy. My perception of the world was one of opportunity, life was great and I was free from the rat race for a while and I would get to see my wife and children a lot more than I had, I was ecstatic and if it didn’t work out I had a lot of skills to offer another employer. My friends perception was one of doom and gloom, he needed the security of a full time job even though he hated it and was working 12 hours per day. It turns out I worked at it for 1 year made a good profit but gave it up due to a huge downturn in business. At the end of it I was still optimistic as I knew I was good enough to get another job until I could do something else.

Everybody’s view of the world is different and it all comes down to the thinking patterns you use in your daily life. If you think life is wonderful you will notice the wonderful things in your life, if you think life is shit you will find shit things about life. Change your thoughts and you literally change the world you are living in. First you have to recognise your destructive thinking pattern.

The second stage is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns - We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love. Recognising when you use destructive thinking patterns can help you to change that pattern. Now that you have recognised when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it.

The third stage is to replace the bad with the good – This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. Here an example:

You are out in a club and you want to talk to someone you are attracted to. Your thoughts are “ She’ll never talk to me, she’s gorgeous.” You will immediately recognise this pattern of thinking and tell yourself something good about yourself e.g. “I’m good at _______(FILL IN THE BLANK), it can be anything. This will not immediately help your situation but it will slowly begin to change your old destructive thinking pattern with a new one.

This stage takes place over time and is not done immediately. The best time to change a destructive thinking pattern is to let it run it’s course and slowly replace it with a thinking pattern that is better for you. I know people want a microwave life, stick it in the micro and it’s ready in 3 minutes, your life is not like that and you cannot change in 1 day, unless something drastic happens.
You can work on more than 1 destructive thinking pattern at a time.

To recap

To change your thinking pattern you have to

Be aware
Slowly change and introduce a new thinking pattern
Keep working on all your destructive thinking patterns

Change your life with your new way of thinking

Recognising and changing your way of thinking can be a long process depending on what patterns of thinking you employ and how badly you want to change. People can change, do change and change for the rest of their lives, I know I have, so don’t be thinking you’ll never be able to change, you can and you will if you really want to.

After a few months you will see a huge difference in your life and you will want to use your new way of thinking to good effect. You will start to notice new types of people enter into your life who can help you reach the goals you have in life and in turn you will help them reach their goals, don’t worry about how just now.
Take time to think about your goals and take the time often to do this. I take time every day to think about where I want to be in life and slowly but surely it happens. Personally I find it better in the morning to really think about my goals and then again at night just before I am falling asleep. It works for me but you will have to experiment a little to find your way of thinking about your goals.

I hope this article has helped you a little. If you feel you would like to say something about it why not leave a comment.

Body Language Basics

People understand the concept of body language but don’t really have a one-stop source for reference. In this article, I will attempt to share body language basics. This article will not be an exhaustive or detailed description of body language basics, but it will be a good reference to turn to when you are trying to figure things out. If you notice a person consistently acting a certain way when you talk to them, but you cannot figure out why, this basic description of body language basics may help.

Keep in mind, that when evaluating body language, it is always better to look for a combination of expressions. If you base your evaluation of body language on just one expression you see, you may be entirely wrong in your conclusion. Someone that looks up to the left with their eyes during conversation may not be necessarily lying. The person could be thinking of a creative way to answer a question. Some body language basics:

When someone is stroking their chin, this could mean they are making a decision on something. Some people actually stroke their cheek or hair when making a decision. Clasping or putting the hands together upwards as if to pray, has also been used when making a decision. When a person tilts their head, this normally means they are interested in more information. Dogs and robots do this to express they are waiting for more information. My wife and son constantly bite their nails. While this normally means a person is nervous or insecure about something, it could also mean they have a bad habit.

When you notice someone pinching their nose (without hands) and/or closing their eyes, this normally means they are reacting negatively to something.

I knew a man who would close his eyes when people would talk to him, but he didn’t pinch his nose. If you knew him well enough, you would know that he was just trying to tune into a spiritual vibe for direction in the conversation. I hear that when someone touches or slightly rubs their nose, they may be lying or expressing doubt about something. I don’t know how true that is. Maybe they just have an itch.

One body language basic I believe gets a bad reputation is when someone has their hands clasped behind their back. The idea here is that they are apprehensive or frustrated about something. But in reality, I think if someone is apprehensive or frustrated, they would be in a position of readiness to do something. Instead, I believe when someone has their hands behind their back, it would most likely mean they are relaxed. When people leave the military, they have this habit when feeling at ease. Another body language basic that I believe is misunderstood, is when someone is standing with their hands on their hips. This position is said to mean one is in a state of aggression. But, once again, I believe this could be simply a position of rest or confidence.

Lastly, two more body language basics exist. If you notice someone sitting down with their legs wide open, that means they are comfortable with you. If their palms are exposed to you, that means they mean you no harm and want to connect with you. What are your basic body language expressions telling others?

Body Language Louder Than Words

Think for a few seconds. If you’re around people, stop and look around. Take a moment and observe the people walking by you or sitting at the tables near you. Most of the time, you don’t need to listen to their conversations or ask them what they’re thinking or trying to communicate. Directly or indirectly, everybody’s body language speaks louder than words.

Take for example, someone that is sad. You can easily tell by their demeanor that they are not happy. Their whole body sulks and they walk about as if a dark cloud follows over them. On the other hand, someone that is happy walks about as if they are sunshine incarnate. They beam with joy and their body radiant with every step. This is body language.

Understanding basic body language helps one be a better communicator and person. I know a young boy who cannot for the life of him stay out of social trouble. He’s great at starting friendships but not maintaining those relationships. A good reason why he has this trouble is due to his lack of understanding body language. Instead of noticing his friend needs time alone or is not interested in playing at the moment, the boy will press for the friend to do what he or she does not want to do. This quickly creates friction and a verbal or even a physical altercation will then occur.

Body language is everywhere and in every facet of life. The next time you are at work talking with your boss or co-worker, remember body language. If you become better attuned to what people are saying with their body, you will quickly be regarded as a very important asset to your company.

At home, pay attention to what your spouse is saying beyond words or what your sibling is really feeling. When you can naturally pick up on their physical cues and mirror them accordingly, you will be esteemed as the most tender and understanding member of the family.

Understanding body language is not always simple. The person you are trying to read may have other variables involved and assuming you can understand them can lead to frustration. For example, the crossing of arms at the shoulders is widely understood as a physical cue, that the person is opposed to what he or she is hearing. But, in many cases this can also mean the person is seriously thinking about what is being discussed. A third possibility is that the person is simply trying to keep warm.

I once heard that body language is really 95% of what we say. Words are only 5%. Our own intentional efforts, to become better communicators by using or restraining body language is, key to being influential or persuasive.

To become better at understanding or using body language, there are many books one can read and find at your local bookstore or library. The internet is also rich with resources both free and for a fee on the subject of body language.

How to Make a New Year’s Resolution?

It is tradition for most individuals to make a New Year’s resolution. This resolution is often made towards the first of the year. For some, New Year’s resolutions are goofy, but for others they are serious. If you want to make a serious New Year’s resolution and actually turn yours into a reality, continue reading on for a few helpful tips.

Think about it. As previously stated, not everyone takes New Year’s resolutions seriously, but you should. This is your chance to change something you don’t like or improve your life. Your New Year’s resolution can be to lose weight, spend more time with your family, or get out of debt. Regardless of what you choose, think about it first. Don’t just go with the first thought that pops into your mind. Instead, think about what you truly want to change or improve in your life.

New Year’s resolutions are often shared at a New Year’s Eve party or on the first day of the year. If you haven’t taken the time to think about your resolution, don’t jump. There is no law saying you have to have a set resolution in place by the first of the year. New Year’s resolutions are designed to change and improve lives, so give it time if you must. Better yet, start thinking ahead.

Stay realistic. If you want to have your New Years resolution be more than just a goal, but a reality, you need to keep reality in mind. It is important to be realistic when setting your goal. For example, do you want to get out of debt? The harder you work towards your goal, the more likely you are to obtain it. However, it is possible to get out from under a $5,000 debt in one year, but others find it impossible to do with $50,000. So, if your goal is to get out of debt, set a reasonable dollar amount. If you meet it, good. If you surpass it, even better.

In terms of reality, it is important to know what you can and can not do. As previously stated, you may not be about to overcome a $50,000 debt in one year. That doesn’t mean you can’t try. It is also does not mean you should give up if you don’t see immediate results. You have all year to turn your New Year’s goal into a reality, so don’t rush it. Give it time and never give up if you don’t see immediate results.

Be specific. In fact, you should not only be specific, but break down your Near Year’s resolution into mini goals. In keeping with the resolution of getting out of debt, start with secured loans. These are loans in which you may lose something if payment is not made, like your car or home. Next, target those small, but still important debts. Do you owe $50 to your family doctor? Pay those bills next, as they are easy.

By creating small mini goals, you have a set plan in place. You essentially have a guide to follow. This makes accomplishment easy. Mini goals will also serve as a source of motivation. When you are able to cross something from your to-do list, you feel a sense of pride. That pride will want you to continue on and you likely will.

Write it down. As stated above, New Year’s resolutions are commonly shared among friends at a party. This is great as others are aware of your goals and can provide you support, but be sure to write yours down. Place it in a prominent location, such as in your wallet, refrigerator, or office desk. Each time you see your resolution written, it serves as a source of motivation.

In short, New Year’s resolutions are optional. There is no law saying you have to make one, but why not? It is a new year and your chance to improve your life. So, what are you waiting for? Start thinking about your New Year’s resolution today.